Is it possible for my asexual partner to have an affair?

[plope7]

How do I know if my partner is "cheating" on me when there's no sex involved? Where should the lines be drawn...knowing how she is and how she interacts with people...How do I know when I should be okay with her relationships with others and when should I not?

What's considered "cheating" to an asexual?

[Mysteria]

I can't answer that last question, because the way I define relationships, cheating does not matter. I don't feel I need to limit my partner's relationships with other people, because I personally feel monogamy is the result of attachment to love rather than love itself.

We can each give you our own perspectives, but no one here can really give you the answer you seek. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide where your boundaries are and communicate that to her. And vice versa. If she does something that's not okay with you, discuss it with her. But first ask yourself why it's not okay, why does it make you feel like your relationship with her is somehow in danger? Assess whether or not it really is so, and then share your conclusions. Open discussion, on both your parts, is the key. If you don't have that, then you have bigger problems than just cheating.

[jr1]

Nicole Kidman once said ‘Mental’ Cheating Is Most Dangerous

[plope7]

As a "sexual" myself, it's difficult for me to feel close to her without the sex or sexual romantic interaction. After sex, I feel open to sharing deeper parts of myself (ideas, feelings, etc.). Without it, I'm a closed book. We've been together for 2 years and it's a constant battle. I shut down with feelings of rejection and depression over not being able to ever "turn her on". She shuts down to me because we don't "communicate" well.

However, I watch and hear her talk about her interactions with her friends, and I battle jealousy over their connections. I guess I always live in fear that since sex isn't involved, maybe she could fall in love with someone else just as easily. Obviously, it's only built on attraction and compatibility. So what's keeping her with me?

[Haunter]

As a "sexual" myself, it's difficult for me to feel close to her without the sex or sexual romantic interaction. After sex, I feel open to sharing deeper parts of myself (ideas, feelings, etc.). Without it, I'm a closed book.

Why is it difficult to feel open without having sex? Would you be inclined to share ideas and feelings with anyone you would have sex to or does the love in your relationship have something to say? Do you feel like sharing feelings to your hand after (if) you masturbate? :? Thry to be more emotionaly lithe and things will take another form.

[Wolf X Omega]

In MY opinion, cheating when your asexual is liking someone else, but not only liking someone else, is having a desire of being with that person instead of the current partner, and fullfiling that desire

[cyan]

Speaking as a romantic asexual currently involved in crushing / infatuation / whatever you want to call that category of feelings when they're not returned ...

The one thing I am certain of is that my feelings for the object of my affections are very much different from my feelings for other friends. It's hard to quantify the difference -- I can make a list, full of sappy things like how I can't help but smile when he walks into the room, but I feel like that list would be ... hmm ... it would describe the natural results of the difference, not the difference itself.

Your mileage may vary -- that's why communication is so very important -- but, drawing from my own limited experience, I have to say that I don't think you need to be worried about her switching her affections so easily.

As for cheating -- if I were in a relationship with this person, and I started developing feelings equally as strong (or stronger) about someone else, and was not open and honest about those feelings with person A, I would tend to qualify that as "cheating". But as several others have said, that's ultimately a very personal decision about where your boundaries lie.