uzma Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Hi Ive only just discovered this site today, an i'm so grateful, as its stopped me thinkin i was mad, imaginin things or a nympho as my husband wud hav me believe. i dont hav a problem with asexuals, as long as theyre honest. i hav a severe problem with ppl who r asexual an in denial an try to blame the other person for their problems. can sum1 pls tell me is it possible for both parties to be happy long term wen one is sexual an one asexual? i mean doesnt one hav to giv in or giv up? Link to post Share on other sites
isillote Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Hi, and welcome! I'm asexual and my partner is very sexual. I think the key to the success of our relationship is trust and openness. We've had our problems with sex over the years, because I'm not interested, and for a while I was in denial to some extent, acknowledged I had a low sex drive, but avoided talking about it in depth because I felt guilty that I loved him so much, but didn't want to have sex with him. He has always gone elsewhere for the sexual fulfillment he needs, and I am very happy with that. We talk openly about this, and the odd time where I have become unhappy with his relationship with someone else, we have talked about it and sorted things out. The first step is finding out if your partner is truly asexual, or if there is another problem. The next is opening up to each other. Show your partner this web site - it helped me a lot to realise there were so many other people like me, and that I wasn't sick or weird, just in a minority! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
............ Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 A number of people on this site can be testiment to the fact that it is possible to hold a relationship, sexual/asexual. i dont hav a problem with asexuals, as long as theyre honest. i hav a severe problem with ppl who r asexual an in denial an try to blame the other person for their problems.May I make a suggestion in this regard? In general, when people are in denial, it does not (at least in my experience), help to handle the situation as if they are in denial and deliberately lying about things. You're husband may not necessarily be asexual, but the problem is still the same, if he has a very low sex drive and you have a higher one, simply because a difference in sexual desires tends to cause conflicts in relationships.Nonetheless, I agree with what isillote said. Show your husband this website. A lack of sex drive is often treated like a problem, so being shown that it is a genuine possibility and not a problem, could help, particularly in finding a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
jr1 Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 I hope you and him can work things out Link to post Share on other sites
Tool1989 Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 You seem to know yourself alot. Good for you! Now....you have to find out her feelings and from their ask if you can compromise about somethings that are important to you. She doesn't know what you are thinking either, so remember that! Be honest with her cuz there cant be any distrust in a relationship and woman have a good sense of when something is wrong. Just be open and honest. Those qualities alone will greatly help your relationship out cuz she will be more willing to communicate if there isn't gonna be an argument. Link to post Share on other sites
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