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Sex-averse ace life partners


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Question for sex-averse aces...How did you find your life partner ? 

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18 minutes ago, TormentDubz said:

Here

HOW did it happen for you? 

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*crickets*🦗 👀

I'm assuming this to mean no one knows 🤣🤣🤣

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19 minutes ago, Eutierria said:

*crickets*🦗 👀

I'm assuming this to mean no one knows 🤣🤣🤣

lmao bold of you to assume we have life partners, i guess? idk. This is kind of depressing. 😅

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2 hours ago, AABattery said:

lmao bold of you to assume we have life partners, i guess? idk. This is kind of depressing. 😅

🤣 

 

I want to know what worked for those who are in a happy arrangement.

 

If I were alloromantic, I might not mind experimenting but I'm demiromantic so I'm trying to cut down my requirement to sample through trial & error 😂 I know that might come across as really clinical to some people  😅

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Well, I used to think of myself as averse, and to be honest in most contexts I still kinda would.  I'm just more comfortable with my partner in particular than I would be in general, but I feel like that's probably a nearly universal sort of experience to some extent or another, so I don't know if I really count here.

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1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

used to think of myself as averse, and to be honest in most contexts I still kinda would.

 

1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

so I don't know if I really count here.

All input is appreciated! ^_^

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Well, in that case, I think I already pretty much gave you the story of how I met my spouse here.  Unless I somehow didn't, or if you were curious on any of the particulars...? 

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Thanks @Philip027^_^

 

 

I was hoping to gather various responses & see if there were any common factors. I'd hypothesised that to meet another ace who is compatible will require living amongst a larger population & where this isn't the case, the necessity to open oneself up for a long distance relationship becomes a new consideration.

,

Albeit, where the limitations outweigh a new possibility, then this new possibility becomes null & void. Limitations include low frequency of contact time due to geographical distance in physical location,  potential time-zone differences and/or working hours.

 

Where these limitations may be mitigated through the use of modern technology (i.e. Voice messages, emails, texts & recorded video calls), such mitigations are unsatisfactory for those who require real-time interactions.

 

In particular for those who are touch-positive whilst sex-averse, the search for a partner of 80%+ compatibility within relative close proximity may become more of an incentive in comparison to a partner of 90%+ compatibility but residing further away. 

 

In the favourable event of a 99% compatibility but the potential partners living on opposite sides of the world - who re-locates & how is this calculated for fairness & equality in career prospects for both partners in addition to keeping existing support networks intact? 

 

Part of the test was to see whether these appeared in other peoples' experiences. 

 

Potential action points would then not just to make myself available for dating but also to increase mileage of geographical areas of coverage. 

 

See..."clinical" 🙃😛

 

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Well, I have/had no "career" prospects and things like touch and in-person interaction were never things I particularly desired or craved, so I can't personally remark on those fronts.

 

I do remember that in the earlier stages of our relationship, my partner (who conversely did have issues with the lack of in-person contact) had conversations with some of their family members regarding the "viability" of the relationship we had, one of them (for instance) remarking about how they wouldn't be able to handle a LDR for primarily that reason.  My partner remarked that, even if we were to terminate our relationship, it wouldn't have been an improvement on their situation -- they would simply go back to being single, while still not having physical contact with anyone whom they were comfortable with having it, mourning the loss of the relationship they already had, and not being likely to find another partner quickly due to their introversion and not connecting with other people that easily (I was their "first").

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CincinnatiAsexual

My now wife was someone I met while in college. We didn't start dating until after college, so we were kind of in the friend zone before we started dating. 

 

I don't know if there are asexual meetups where you live, but perhaps there may be some in the Meetup Mart section close enough to you.

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2 hours ago, CincinnatiAsexual said:

in the friend zone before we started dating. 

As a demiromantic, I'll need to know them first too. 

 

2 hours ago, CincinnatiAsexual said:

don't know if there are asexual meetups where you live

I used to be one of the organisers. I did it to help someone out & ended up doing it for approx 3.5yrs before we found other local aces who were interested in taking over. 

 

I never attend the meetups with that in mind. It feels wrong just thinking about it like that. I love hanging out with groups of ace friends. 

 

 

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CincinnatiAsexual

I don't know if you're out and about for any hobbies/interests. I always thought when I was in my young twenties that I would find my partner at a dog park or a coffee shop. Those are places I spent a lot of time at when I was single. 

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