New problem. Romantic or alterous

[fronci]

Ahaahahah. Yayyyy. More stuff to think about >:D

 

I made another post about how I think I may like my best friend. I did more research, and now I’m thinking it might be alterous? It’s more than platonic, but I’m unsure if it’s romantic. It’s not a typical crush. We’re best friends, I’m comfortable around her.

 

I want a relationship, I just don’t want to have sex (sex warning: open to giving, not so much to receiving), I’m on the fence about making out. But i want an intimacy that’s usually synonymous to a romantic relationship.

 

I think it could be alterous or a QPR, but I don’t think that’s what I want or what she wants either. Maybe none of this is real. Maybe I have confirmation bias. I’m unsure. But i have OCD so I need to know for sure before I do anything. 

 

However, I don’t see myself spending my entire life with her (and there are plenty of factors for that, I can get into it if necessary), it would more be a fun and healthy relationship for both of us during high school before we head off to university, so I don’t know if that makes me less genuine about this.

[Guest]

If you think it's romantic, it's romantic, imo. I think alterous as a label is there for "other" for when you feel that "romantic" doesn't fit. 

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

You can have a lighter relationship, though if either of you develop stronger feelings through it, it might be hard to let go if you separate later. Still i do think it's better to have the experiences. So long as you both feel good about it

[Slothed]

What a coincidence that we seem to be dealing with a similar situation right now! I made a post about this sort of thing just yesterday morning. Maybe some of the responses there will be helpful to you: 

 

[Philip027]

14 hours ago, fronci said:

However, I don’t see myself spending my entire life with her (and there are plenty of factors for that, I can get into it if necessary), it would more be a fun and healthy relationship for both of us during high school before we head off to university, so I don’t know if that makes me less genuine about this.

Since you're actually recognizing this yourself... yeah, probably.  You're likely guarding yourself from getting as emotionally invested.

 

As for what's "romantic" or not, you basically have to decide that for yourself.  Even if there are some recognizable common trends, everyone ultimately has a different take on it.  (Some people think Twilight is romantic, others think it's creepy/predatory as hell.)