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Should I just break up?


winter solstice 冬至

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winter solstice 冬至

I once thought I was a common female who would only be attracted to man, but when I fell in love with my girlfriend(she is a lesbian ) ,I realized I could be bisexual.However, as time goes by, I found out that people usually want more than kissing and hug  , and I am actually biromantic asexual who resist sex completely. I’ve talked with my girlfriend for it and she ensured my that she can help herself and that she doesn’t want to have sex with anyone else when she’s in the relationship with me .But here in China, people may not really mean it when they know the truth may hurt you. And I always feel guilty for being asexual and I feel it’s unfair for her. Maybe I should learn what  lesbian do when they are having sex(which really makes me feel bad) or I should just break up or can I just take her kindness?(it’s really hard for me to figure out how sexual people feel when they are stopped from having sex)

can anybody give me some advice? Thanks very much.

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You should not feel guilty for how you feel.  She should not feel guilty either.  I think you should talk to  her, see if there is a way you can both be happy together.  If you can be happy together, that is great.  If you cannot, then you are both better separate and each find someone compatible.

 

Remember neither of you is wrong, no one is at fault here.

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Yes, you should talk to her and listen to her. Don't take decision on your own because you imagine she is thinking something else she is saying.

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18 hours ago, winter solstice 冬至 said:

here in China, people may not really mean it when they know the truth may hurt you.

Humanity do be like this. I get what you're saying about China, but this even happens in California, supposedly the most open place in the world, where people over-share and talk about everything. They do it for themselves, not because it's the right thing to do. And so, they're chickenshits about other people's feelings.

 

19 hours ago, winter solstice 冬至 said:

(it’s really hard for me to figure out how sexual people feel when they are stopped from having sex)

Everyone's different, but there are a lot of sexuals who won't abide this forever.

 

The best way to get a significant-other to open up to you and trust that they can tell you those things they don't dare say to you is to actually talk about that. Also to make yourself vulnerable first, so they can be vulnerable with you.

 

Relationships are too important to not say out loud the things our cultures would have us not say to each other.

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