imjustconfused Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 One of my best friend (let’s call her Alex - not her real name) is like the only person in the world I can do talk to about anything. We became friends because I thought I had a crush on her for months when I didn’t but basically now we are extremely good friends and the only feelings I feel are platonic ones. Me and Alex see each other once a week (we don’t go to the same school) but we text almost everyday and video call every weekend. It’s amazing because we can about almost anything because both of us are ace and gay and we have similar interests and everything. One thing, our friendship contains no physical touch whatsoever, we have hugged a couple of times but it was just so awkward that we just don’t anymore. Does this make my friendship any less than my others where I hug people? Idk, hope you can help. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 No, I wouldn't think so. Every friendship is unique and based on the interplay of the traits and wants and needs of those two specific individuals. As long as both people feel the friendship is fulfilling, there's no one right way to be friends with someone. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Milque Toast Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 Absolutely not, in my opinion!!!! If neither of you desire to physically touch, that should not have any bearing on your relationship. Everything else you mentioned, like speaking often, having a lot in common, etc- those are indicative of a good bond/friendship! physical touch is not a necessary component of any relationship, if it's not important to either party. Just because you don't feel like touching, doesn't mean your relationship is "lesser"- it's totally possible your relationship could be stronger than most friendshships. sorry for getting all hyped up- I feel very strongly about this. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anomaly Q3Xr Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 No absolutely not. I have two close friends, I see them rarely (they live 200 miles away, but we keep in touch with Messenger and Skype (one of them)). However, I have no physical contact with them, as physical contact with absolutely anyone (except when I've had a partner) makes me extremely uncomfortable. My lack of any physical contact does not cause any harm to the relationship, we have a very strong friendship, and have for several years. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Steel13 Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 No, because friendship can be defined differently by every person. For me personally, physical touch is a must because I'm a very cuddly person and hugs/hand holding/etc are necessary for me to express emotion and bond with people. But I also know people who hate being touched that are just as devoted to their friends as me. So it's really just personal preference. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 Nope, whether you hug or not doesn't affect the quality of your friendship. Neither me nor my closest friend are into hugs, but that doesn't diminish our bond in any way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
illumi Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 no. optional stuff. your choice Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 I've never even met the vast majority of my friends in person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ezoodle Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 I was in a long term residential treatment center and in the state of Utah, any physical touch has to be reported to the police. Even if it's just a hug. So I wasn't allowed to give any physical touch to any of my friends (We did hug a few times with therapist permission) Id say, some of the people I never hugged were probably some of my closest friends ever. And we never had any physical touch. We just bonded over similar experience or topics. Anyways, I miss them a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bare_trees Posted January 29, 2023 Share Posted January 29, 2023 You can absolutely have an intimate bond with someone that doesn't involve physical touch, and it sounds like you and your friend have that. I'm a really touchy-feely person, and if I'm close friends with someone, I feel like something is missing if we don't hug and hold hands sometimes and that kinda thing. But that's me, and as long as neither of you feels like anything is missing, then it's all good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JimmyJazz Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I don't think friendships require physical attention. Emotional intimacy is important. Humour, too. Common ground. Shared experiences. But considering friendship is a feeling that you experience, I think you know best whether this one feels lesser to the others. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatBadCat Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 Certainly not. Each friendship is unique. Some might have a significant aspect of touch, some friends might not touch at all. One is not superior to the other, they are simply different and each valuable in their own way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
imjustconfused Posted January 30, 2023 Author Share Posted January 30, 2023 4 minutes ago, JimmyJazz said: I think you know best whether this one feels lesser to the others I’d say that my friendship with her is one of my most important ones, better than the ones where I do hug my friends. Thank you! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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