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Is it normal to be asexual and sadistic?


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Is it possible to be a bit  sadistic and asexual??

I'm mostly repulsed by the idea of sex and just am disgusted by it's existence in general there is a part of me who likes causing pain and harm to others it's not even sexual if I'm honest it's mostly intrusive thoughts i kinda wanna act on

if I'm honest my sexual attraction is very miniscule i very rarely expierence it i more often find myself getting annoyed by it but there's moments i think?

But yeah it just seems kinda fun 

But i also have this inner conflict like inflicting pain on others (ofc if it's consensual) seems fun and exciting but at the same time i couldn't wanna hurt anyone i love (but ig if they like it it's ok??? Idk but still idk i don't understand people like that at all)

Also i wanna know if this makes me any less asexual or am i under a umbrella category? If I'm honest i been comfortable with it this identify so much i can't even explain it but i wanna stay true to myself am i something else or am i still ace

 

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Personally I don't think there's any intersection between 'asexual' and 'sadistic.' There can be one with the other, one without the other, the other without the one, or neither one at all.

 

So the question seems to boil down to 'is it normal to be sadistic,' on which there are various opinions.

 

If you strictly mean it in a kinky way, sure, kinks are normal and this isn't an uncommon or pathological one, if pursued as a consensual kink.

 

And kink doesn't have to mean 'sexual activity' either, there are plenty of pain players for whom the sex is separate from the pain play.

 

I will say this - masochist partners who aren't asexual may be disappointed if there's no sexual resolution to the painful excitement, but that's not really that different from a lot of asexual/sexual match-ups. Something sex-adjacent happens and then the two people have different expectations about what happens from there.

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Picklethewickle

If by "normal" you mean statistically common for aces to be sadistic, then no, there isn't any particular connection. If by "normal" you mean okay or acceptable, then yes. Asexuals can have kinks. The difference between asexual kinky people and sexual kinky people is that sexual people incorporate sex into their acts, or conclude the kinks with sex. With asexuals the kinks tend to bring satisfaction without the actual sex part.

 

For what you were saying about inner conflict about wanting to inflict pain and yet not wanting to hurt people, in these kinds of relationships the inflicting and enduring of pain has a degree of performance. The sadistic partner does things that cause minor pain but not lasting pain or injury, and the masochist acts out the pain as being greater than it is to the excitement of their partner. It's more a stimulating amount of pain than something that will cause harm. The two partners will work out between each other what is the right amount of pain, what is the right performance, and when to stop, so that no one has to worry about hurting each other.

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fantastic mx. foxglove

I'd say sadism is as common amoung asexual people as it is amoung the rest of the population

 

If you're inflicting pain on people and it's consentual, then that's fine, it doesn't have to be sex-driven, it can be driven by other things as well (personal interest, joy, etc.). If this is a thing you feel you would like to do, then there should be nothing wrong with getting it out in a safe environment

(hopefully that made sense ^^')

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When I went to massage school, there was a student who often inflicted pain on me in a nonsexual way.  It was consensual, but man!  Ouch!

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Janus the Fox

S&M Kink is possible with any sexuality to me.

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I can't quite articulate why and I know you said consensual... perhaps it's the fact that you used the word 'harm', I dunno... but something here makes me vaguely uncomfortable. And I'm someone who's into some BDSM stuff, so it's not at all a moral judgement. S&M can certainly involve pain, but I don't really hear the word 'harm' used in kink communities. Like, it's sort of not really considered harm since it's part of consensual and desired activities; 'harm' has negative connotations. However, perhaps I'm just being ridiculously pedantic here and reading too much into your specific phrasing choice.

 

Anyway, moving on from that... as others have said, kink doesn't have to involve sex. It does in part for me personally since I'm not ace, but there are certainly asexuals who are into S&M activities that don't involve having sexual contact with anyone.

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