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how to accept reality?


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people have sex. 

 

I don't know it just so weirds me out. 

 

I was watching a youtube short about a couople hiking long distance togehter and posting about it and like

 

it was cool

 

but then I realized they have sex

 

and I can't watch it anymore. I just don't know what to actually make of this. People have sex. Sex! I don't know what I thought people did, but sex just isn't a thing I'd ever think to do. 

 

 

 

 

When I had sex, it happened to me. It wasn't a thing I wanted. IDK

 

I just feel like sex is gross, and weird, and I can't get over it. I can't see people in the same light knowing they have sex. 

 

What do I do to stop this? it's not right for me to feel this way. I want to accept that people have sex. people get married to continue having sex. People see each other because they want to have sex. When someone loves someone they have sex with, as non asexual people, they include sex with the necesarry ingrediants for that love. 

 

IDK

 

I don't know what's so upsetting to me, other than just being weirded out by it. 

 

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Try researching 'radical acceptance' skills, maybe? It's a DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) technique to deal with things we find distressing but can't control. Learning to accept that other people are who they are and that they may have different feelings, thoughts, experiences, wants, needs, etc. than you do is part of emotional maturity.

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I guess the question I'd still ask is why do you care about it like you do? I know maybe you don't know off the bat, but might be worth asking, and if you don't have an answer then maybe means worth not caring.

 

Honestly it's weirder that everyone poops.

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2 hours ago, _River_ said:

people get married to continue having sex

Also remember that some people get married for tax benefits. I say that half-jokingly because you also get to see someone in a hospital, etc. 

 

Almost everyone has had or wants to have sex. For me, that's just one of the quirky things about people. They're so silly. 

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Although it doesn't bother me, even as a sexual person I find it kind of hilarious/bizarre that the majority of people masturbate. Like maybe my landlord wanks to fantasies of having a threesome, perhaps the late Queen Elizabeth liked to hump a pillow, the high schooler behind the till at my nearest Tim Hortons gets off to My Little Pony porn, etc.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

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Lord Jade Cross
10 minutes ago, Ceebs said:

Although it doesn't bother me, even as a sexual person I find it kind of hilarious/bizarre that the majority of people masturbate. Like maybe my landlord wanks to fantasies of having a threesome, perhaps the late Queen Elizabeth liked to hump a pillow, the high schooler behind the till at my nearest Tim Hortons gets off to My Little Pony porn, etc.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Never look up clopping. You have been warned 🤣

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1 hour ago, Ceebs said:

Although it doesn't bother me, even as a sexual person I find it kind of hilarious/bizarre that the majority of people masturbate. Like maybe my landlord wanks to fantasies of having a threesome, perhaps the late Queen Elizabeth liked to hump a pillow, the high schooler behind the till at my nearest Tim Hortons gets off to My Little Pony porn, etc.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

heh you're right, so many masturbators in the world. maybe I just need to link sex to masturbation, because I'm not weirded out by that. sure, people have sex.... but they also masturbate, even when they have a partner to have sex with! it's kind of funny actually. 

 

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5 hours ago, Lord Jade Cross said:

Never look up clopping. You have been warned 🤣

Sounds like horsing around to me 😋😋

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4 hours ago, _River_ said:

heh you're right, so many masturbators in the world.

Lol @ that sentence.

 

Yep, most people wank, me included, but we don't really think about it unless it's someone we're sexually involved with or perhaps we're having a discussion like this one right here. I think that's how most of us are about other people having sex, too. If you actively think about it you realise it's true, but it mostly it just doesn't occur to people to think about it.

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6 minutes ago, Ceebs said:

but it mostly it just doesn't occur to people to think about it.

It does to most asexuals, because it seems that we see the whole world having sex  when it just doesn't seem at all natural to us.  

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Just now, Sally said:

It does to most asexuals, because it seems that we see the whole world having sex  when it just doesn't seem at all natural to us.  

Some perhaps, but I've also seen many asexuals on here talk about being basically oblivious to the thought that anyone ever has sex at all. Often with the same response as the OP really, when confronted with that fact -- something like 'that's weird' -- but less often accompanied by being sort of fixated on it because it bothers them. That's what I mostly meant -- the concept of being stuck on it to the point of distress about what others are doing and not being able to get over it or not seeing people in the same light, as the OP mentioned. You and I aren't really talking about the same thing; feeling like the whole world is having sex and finding that really odd when it's not innate to you is one thing and probably pretty normal for asexuals, but experiencing something that sounds a bit like intrusive thoughts, thoughts that are upsetting about information that one declares they can't accept... that's somewhat different. I'm pretty sure my ex finds it unrelatable that people want to shag each other, but for him it's just something about the world that doesn't seem hugely relevant to him so he has no significant feelings on the matter and it doesn't occur to him that his brother and sister-in-law or his employee and her boyfriend or whoever are having sex. It's a non-issue and doesn't change how he sees them.

 

The problem with being stuck on what others are doing sexually, besides the distress that the person is feeling, is that I've seen it lead to posts on here that are strongly antisexual, or that come from kids who are so upset that their parents have sex that they feel like they have the right to tell them to stop.

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  • 2 months later...

Necrobumped?  Oh well.

 

genetic_analysis.png

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autumn blink
On 4/6/2023 at 9:57 AM, Philip027 said:

Necrobumped?  Oh well.

 

genetic_analysis.png

Worth it. That was funny 😛

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