Introducing myself

[scarysadflan]

Hi everyone! I am a 49 year old woman from NYC. 

 

I found out I was asexual by accident about 10 years ago when I was going down a Wikipedia rabbit hole.  I came across the entry for Asexuality, and asked myself, "Wait, that's a thing?"  And after going through my own mental files, I realized, "Oh my God, that's it."  Before that I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't attracted to anyone and would date people just to meet others' expectations or my own imagined version of that, and hating myself in the process.  Also, growing up in the 80's and 90's, you were told 1) you're attracted to men, 2) you're attracted to women or 3) you're attracted to both; there were no other options.

 

I found out aromanticism was a thing a few years later, thanks to "Bojack Horseman."  Until then, I thought asexuality and aromanticism were a package deal (and I was fine with that); turns out they're not.  Although I knew right away I was asexual; whether or not I was aromantic took longer to figure out.  But long story short, yeah, I'm aromantic, too.

 

Recently, I've been exploring aro/ace TikTok and youtube videos, most of which have been helpful on my journey.  It's almost entirely younger people, but I'm happy (and a little jealous!) to see young people having the resources to figure out their identities a lot earlier in life than I did.

 

Sorry for the long post; I haven't told many people.  I've told a few friends who don't really understand, and I haven't told my extended family because I don't want them negating me on this (let's just say it wouldn't be the first time).  There are other people I want to tell, but haven't been able to tell them in person because of COVID.  Otherwise, I keep it on a need-to-know basis.

 

In other news, outside of my office job, I do yoga, meditation and I'm learning to play the guitar.

 

Thanks for reading!

[rebis]

Hi, and welcome! And yeah, as a fellow 49 year old, of course I know exactly what you mean about asexual not even being an option, when we were younger. I wasn't gay or bi, so had to be het -- never mind that I was never a very good het.

 

And yah, I think people who identify as asexual just skew younger across the board. Note that there are boards for folks in their 40s and 50s here though, so it's not like it's only the younglings!

[scarysadflan]

43 minutes ago, rebis said:

Hi, and welcome! And yeah, as a fellow 49 year old, of course I know exactly what you mean about asexual not even being an option, when we were younger. I wasn't gay or bi, so had to be het -- never mind that I was never a very good het.

Thanks!  I knew I wasn't a lesbian or bisexual, so by process of elimination, I must be straight, right? And, like you, not very good at it. lol

[awadama]

Hi and welcome!

[scarysadflan]

Thanks!

[Tom71]

Welcome

[scarysadflan]

18 hours ago, Tom71 said:

Welcome

Thanks!

[stormysoul]

🍰🍰Hello and welcome!!

[scarysadflan]

9 hours ago, stormysoul said:

🍰🍰Hello and welcome!!

Thanks!

[Quants]

hey Im 53 and like you it was straight or a lesibian and I knew I wasn't a lesbian. It got all mixed up to as I was a Tom boy when I was younger. for the first time this week I have told one person that I am Non-Binary and Asexual I am not quite sure where I go from here 

[LeChat]

@scarysadflan Hello. Welcome! 

 

[a pic of eight (four blue and four purple) cookies--shaped like roses--with dark jam inside the former and light jam (could be apple, peach, etc.) inside the latter--all on a white, square dish.]