Genderqueer or Nonbinary?

[DogObsessedLi]

I was just wondering and wanted to start a thread on why individuals prefer one label over the other, be it genderqueer or nonbinary? There's no right or wrong answers, I'm just interested in why one individual identifies as nonbinary or a nonbinary label that's more specific, and why others might choose genderqueer. For me I find they are very different labels, though I understand that some might use them more interchangable. For me, I would say I'm a functioning female (phyisically/use female toilets/"seen as female by others" etc etc etc),  but who's genderqueer as I do not fit into the female social identity/expectations/social functioning/basically I queer most of the perceived boundaries that most of society take for granted. I don't identify as nonbinary personally but I do identify as genderqueer. I realise it can be a very personal thing/experience though and I would like to hear others' reasons for choosing their preferred label. I don't have any prefered pronouns (I don't relate to any to be honest), but at the same time I don't understand pronouns because personally I find them a social construct like most of language. Anyway, I'd like to here others' stories and experiences of their preference of label.

[verily-forsooth-egads]

Genderqueer is more general than nonbinary is more general than agender. I identify with all of them, but "nonbinary" tends to be the pertinent word most often of the three, giving the appropriate amount of context to talk about my experiences.

 

Then there's "enby" which is just an unforgivably ugly word and I hope anyone who uses it for people who don't self-identify with it disappears mysteriously in the night.

[Captain_Tass]

Here's something I wrote on the topic as a reply to another post (asking what's the difference between nonbinary and genderqueer) on June 29 2022, which still rings true and which I can't seem to directly quote for some reason

 

Quote

[...]

 

Being genderqueer means having a queer, atypical gender identity, which is distinct from both binary gender categories, and most likely will manifest itself in your presentation.

 

Being nonbinary means having a gender identity that is neither 100% male nor 100% female 100% of the time.

 

I'm using genderqueer rather than nonbinary myself because:

 

1) my queer sexuality is inextricably and explicitly tied to my gender identity, to the point where both can be described exclusively by "lesbian" and nothing would be lacking.

 

2) I don't want to define myself as "not binary", I'd rather define myself as something that I am. Genderqueer, trans, transmasc... all of these.

 

3) Transness in all its forms, even what would be considered "binary transgender" destroys the idea of a gender binary. Bimbotheory on instagram and twitter has spoken a lot on this idea, and I've found I agree with her.

 

Now, absolutely no shade to anyone who identifies as nonbinary and prefers that over genderqueer. I'm not opposed to the term existing, and if it can help people, I'm glad. I just have personal reasons and personal circumstances that make me prefer genderqueer.

 

[Picklethewickle]

Even though through life I've always felt about my gender the way I do now, I've only started learning the distinct gender terms recently. I don't know them thoroughly, and sometimes I wonder if there are more specific labels that would fit me better than non-binary, but for now that one feels comfortable to use.

 

It's interesting that the term "non-binary" is in itself defined by the notion of binary genders. It's a little weird, but it also works for me, because my feelings are also framed within a binary. There is male and female: sometimes I'm one, sometimes I'm the other, sometimes I feel the proccess of passing from one to another, sometimes I feel a little bit of both, sometimes I feel little of anything. What I don't feel is a complete lack of gender, or a sense of third gender. I'm not binary in the sense of being strictly one gender that is opposite the other gender, but I am binary in the sense that my gender is defined by these two specific groups.

 

My gender identity also isn't strongly tied to any other aspect of myself. That, and the fact that I don't experience the range that "genderqueer" seems to express, makes me think that genderqueer isn't the right word for me. Maybe one day as I learn more about the labels, and more about myself, I'll change my mind.

[SN1CK3R-D00DL3S]

I prefer the term "non-binary" when describing my gender. I'd also describe myself as genderfluid. As in, I don't identify exclusively as a woman or a man. Sometimes I feel more feminine, other times I feel more masculine, and most of the time I feel like a combination of both. Still, I'm AFAB, I present femininely, and I'm fine with that for the most part. In any case, my gender identity is outside of the norm. I'm happy to have found a place in the (online) non-binary community in the last couple of years.

I've never used the term genderqueer, although that may be because that term was more common when I was too young to find out about it. I can understand the appeal of the label, but it's not one I use much. I hope this answered your question.

[shout]

I use genderqueer! I will call myself non-binary in a few contexts, but on the whole I far prefer genderqueer. This is because I identify more with the “binary” category of “man”, but believe I experience manhood queerly due to being trans. So I consider myself a man, but a man in a genderqueer sort of way.

[nickolekuebler]

I will use both terms, mainly because I do identify as a demiwoman and would describe myself as trans feminine non binary. I do feel sometimes though that I have no gender and no connection with gender and therefor gender queer is a good way to describe that. the important thing to not though is that I may not always align with gender I know for sure that I am not and do not ever feel like I'm masculine. 

[Itsa me a person]

I use both terms, but I use the term nonbinary more since it seems to be more well known

[Guest Queerdo]

I like genderqueer because I experience both my sexual orientation and gender in intersectional ways. Nonbinary also works. Not fond of enby but it doesn't have to be my word.

 

I'm generally a skeptic that there is an ideal mapping of labels to categories human nature, so any label that works. 

[Purple Is the New Black]

On 1/21/2023 at 11:07 PM, verily-forsooth-egads said:

Then there's "enby" which is just an unforgivably ugly word and I hope anyone who uses it for people who don't self-identify with it disappears mysteriously in the night.

[verily-forsooth-egads]

52 minutes ago, Purple Is the New Black said:

On 1/21/2023 at 4:07 PM, verily-forsooth-egads said:

Then there's "enby" which is just an unforgivably ugly word and I hope anyone who uses it for people who don't self-identify with it disappears mysteriously in the night.

 

 

[Purple Is the New Black]

It posted that as a joke @verily-forsooth-egads 😉

[Itsa me a person]

On 1/21/2023 at 4:07 PM, verily-forsooth-egads said:

Genderqueer is more general than nonbinary is more general than agender. I identify with all of them, but "nonbinary" tends to be the pertinent word most often of the three, giving the appropriate amount of context to talk about my experiences.

 

That's exactly why I use the term nonbinary the most, I use more specific terms like agender on sites such as this one.