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Does this happen to people who aren't female?


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I identify as female. I've recently had a couple incidents where someone has left bizarre things on my porch. One was a ratty pillowcase full of soggy clothes. The other was a children's headband with little springy hearts on it for Valentine's Day. There has been no explanation for these things and I'm not sure if they're related to each other or not. In both cases, the items were meant to be found (they weren't hidden.)

 

I expressed to people that I'm feeling unsettled by this, yet a couple people have teased that I must have an admirer. Whyyyyyyyyyy? When someone says they're uncomfortable, the situation is NOT cute or sweet.

 

Do people of other genders get treated this way, too? 

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Fraggle Underdark

That's just bizarre.

 

I wonder if it's kids, a pillowcase full of soggy clothes sounds more like a kid's idea than an adult, even a weird adult.

 

I wonder if the people joking about an admirer were being deliberately ridiculous.

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RoseGoesToYale

WTF? Um... this isn't a common occurrence for AFABs. I agree with FraggleRock, it sounds like kids or teens maybe playing a practical joke. Daring friends to leave weird stuff on someone's porch sounds exactly like a pre-adolescent prank.

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nickolekuebler

I can honestly say that at my age I have never had this happen to me, it does sound like a children's prank or something like that. I have heard of like leaving things like chocolates or teddy bears or even flowers for someone that you like but without telling them who it is from would not make any sense either. This just sounds kind of creepy. 

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The situation is definitely weird, but I'm feeling more upset by people reacting as if this is cute behavior. Maybe I'm displacing my feelings here, but this is nothing compared to other stuff that's happened in my neighborhood.

 

It reminds me of when people invalidate girls by telling them "He's just teasing you because he likes you! How cute!"

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The French Unicorn

Yeah people can be really weird with these things and refuse to acknowledge how uncomfortable it can make someone feel. They were taught it was cute and will try to convince you it is instead of listening. That's annoying.

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1 hour ago, cat_lady said:

I'm feeling more upset by people reacting as if this is cute behavior

What people?

 

Also, I wonder whether the people/person who did this even knows who lives there and what gender you are.

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5 hours ago, cat_lady said:

...One was a ratty pillowcase full of soggy clothes...

Hi...sorry you're experiencing that.

 

I haven't had anyone leave anything like that on a porch, but I experienced something similar several years ago, when I was in the backyard and an adult neighbor (with children) whom I'd never seen or spoken to, before, saw me and decided to give me a large bag full of expired and moldy food with a smile and a "Merry Christmas," right in front of their child.

 

I'd never understood what that was about. I'd heard of people who don't feel they can throw out anything, themselves, and pass things along to others, instead. I didn't know them; so, I don't know if the person might've possibly had anything like a serious mental health issue, etc.

 

I don't know if, perhaps, you or a neighbor might have access to some sort of camera (e.g. doorbell camera, car camera, etc.), in order to catch whomever is doing that.

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Janus the Fox

Best to get a out door camera to check who's doing that, it could work as a deterrent on its own.

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3 hours ago, cat_lady said:

The situation is definitely weird, but I'm feeling more upset by people reacting as if this is cute behavior.

Yeah, the situation is weird. That response some people sounds creepy to me.

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I would say you have a stalker, maybe.  If it keeps happening, tell the police.  Take pictures of the stuff that is being left on your porch.  Be careful, it sounds weird and maybe a little creepy. 

 

People shouldn't tease about it being an admirer, either.  It's scary.

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2 hours ago, Astrea said:

Having your feelings trivialized when someone makes you feel unsafe is a staple of being a woman, yes. Always fun.
I sympathize as it's pretty unsettling.

I listen to this song regularly... it feels cathartic. 😁
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l26UFQ06eQ

OMG - THIS is sooooooo funny - I love it.

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I was bullied a lot as a kid, and it was like a daily mantra from all adults, my parents and the teachers. "Oh he verbally abused you or trashed your belongings or physically assaulted you because he had a crush on you." Makes me so angry that adults say stuff like this to other adult women now. It's just plain ignorant and patronizing. If people say stuff like this to me, I just don't even talk to them anymore. 

Nowadays if someone does or says something cruel to me and I try to point it out, I get shot down and told it didn't really happen. But people haven't said "They're doing that because they like you" to me in a long time. I'm sorry you've been dealing with harassment. What's going on is not okay. 

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That is so bizarre. Almost like something out of a creepypasta or weird folklore. I agree with others that you should get a door camera.

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