iris0_O Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 What do you think is the most basic difference between romantics and aromantics that applies to all? I've been trying to figure out if I'm aromantic or not, but i can't understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction... I imagine and desire being in a romantic relationship, but I've never fallen in love... Things i imagine experiencing with my platonic relations is same as romantic ones Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 29 minutes ago, iris0_O said: What do you think is the most basic difference between romantics and aromantics that applies to all? I've been trying to figure out if I'm aromantic or not, but i can't understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction... I imagine and desire being in a romantic relationship, but I've never fallen in love... Things i imagine experiencing with my platonic relations is same as romantic ones Hi. Well, I don't think everyone falls in love easily, or really if you're talking about crushes, I don't consider those being in love, it's just infatuation, and you don't need that to be in a romantic relationship with someone. I think romantic desire is more important. I think the main difference is that someone aromantic will not feel a pull to be with someone romantically :P. It's still possible to want to be in a romantic relationship for other reasons, like partnership/companionship, close friendship, but it won't reach the romantic level. To me romance means a much higher degree of intimacy an intimate connection, and wanting to share in that kind of love, and being close in that way. Takes to like someone and want that kind of closeness with them. Sometimes takes to meet someone special or that really clicks. Or more. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 some aromantic people have zero desire to partner up, or perhaps have no interest in romantic intimacy, or feel repulsed by romantic intimacy. Some feel a lot of pressure in a partnered relationship. Some aromantic people are happy with intimacy and even desire it on some level, and some aromantic people do want a QPR or even a romantic relationship. The difference there could be that there's less likely to be initiation of intimacy, and there might be intimacy missing for the romantic person in an aromantic qpr. And of course, the difficult to define difference: aromantic people feel no romantic attraction for the most part. (the exception being lithromantic or orchidromantic folk) What this attraction will look like will vary from person to person 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liara Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 To be honest, I'm not sure I really understand what means romantic attraction (and I'm not aromantic...) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AavaMeri Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 The other day, I heard a pretty good explanation of difference between romantic and platonic attraction in this video: tl;dr: Platonic attraction is like, "I like this person, but I don't think of them all the time", romantic attraction (or more like falling in love) is like, "I'm obsessed with this person and everything about them feels special and different from everything else". 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iris0_O Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, AavaMeri said: The other day, I heard a pretty good explanation of difference between romantic and platonic attraction in this video: tl;dr: Platonic attraction is like, "I like this person, but I don't think of them all the time", romantic attraction (or more like falling in love) is like, "I'm obsessed with this person and everything about them feels special and different from everything else". Thanks you for this! This actually helped clear a few things!<33 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HappilyEverafter Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 10 hours ago, iris0_O said: What do you think is the most basic difference between romantics and aromantics that applies to all? I've been trying to figure out if I'm aromantic or not, but i can't understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction... I imagine and desire being in a romantic relationship, but I've never fallen in love... Things i imagine experiencing with my platonic relations is same as romantic ones What you say here sounds like my aro-ace friends' version or explanation for love. I understand only the theory of it, but since I have never experienced it myself, I don't know what it feels like. For me, as a romantic asexual, romantic love is very different from platonic love (which I just call affection). I love my best friend much, and I love some of my other friends a lot, too, but it's all purely platonic. Not once have I wanted to take it anything more than friendship. When my bestie and I would get very close while discussing things that are common or telling one another about what's going on, I'd only feel like I'm talking to my sister. That kind of love is all emotional, pure affection, and I won't feel anything physically (sensual or dreamy or wanting to cuddle). But with people with whom I am romantic, if it's reciprocated, I'd want to hold hands, hug them and occasionally kiss them romantically. they'd make me feel sensual and feminine. I'd want to spend more time together with them. I'd want to go on romantic dates with them. With friends, I'd never want to get cozy or anything. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HappilyEverafter Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 2 hours ago, AavaMeri said: The other day, I heard a pretty good explanation of difference between romantic and platonic attraction in this video: tl;dr: Platonic attraction is like, "I like this person, but I don't think of them all the time", romantic attraction (or more like falling in love) is like, "I'm obsessed with this person and everything about them feels special and different from everything else". Ha ha, the "I'm obsessed with this person" part got me laughing. That's how I feel when I develop a crush. It feels so silly! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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