Are Asexuals More Likely to Avoid Children?

[Live R Perfect]

"Pick me up!" "Give me a piggy-back ride!" "Catch me!" "Let me sit on your lap!" etc, etc.... AGGGGHHHHHH!!! :x

[Davey]

At 14, I like children only when their parents pay me to take care of them. I got 40 bucks (Canadian, but still) last week for watching TV while some kid slept upstairs.

fnord

[neural_implant]

Neural's take on children

- I don't want to see them

- I don't want to hear them

- For the love of God, I do not want to smell them.

Sure, plenty of people can't grasp the idea of someone not wanting them. Basically I just let them believe what they will. I've been laughed at over that before (my opinion of this person dropped many stories at that point). The implication is that the ubiquitous "she" will want them, therefore they will be. I didn't mention I can't stand sex, as that would result in further defamation of character (in both directions).

[Guest]

Man, David, there are fnords in every single one of your posts.

[Davey]

I just started adding them today. You've seen them - bravo! Do you feelfnord enlightened?

[Guest]

No, just...distracted...:P

[Kez]

How do you make them?

Hmm, when I read your fnord background thingy, I was reminded of the dude in SLaTFTF ( I think) who designed Norway.

[Davey]

{size=1}fnordfnord{/size}

EDIT: Was that Slartibartfast? I can't remember.. it's been so long since I read any of those. Who or what reminded you of him (if it is him)?

[Kez]

Yes!!!!

whoo! fnord

*edit*

I dunno. Maybe the wholle idiocyncrasy alla Douglas Adams.

[fluffy_hime]

Hm. So THAT'S what that minute spot is.

[wysiwygchik]

I don't want to have children of my own, but I want to adopt a child. There are a lot of orphans out there that deserve a parent.

[SpiritualJunkie]

HELLA NO!!!! that should have been an option....cos no...just no.

Morbid.

[Shockwave]

Oh, come on people.

I know you'll want to have children after this (turn your sound on).

www.flowgo.com/funpages/view.cfm/1463

[Kaisharga]

OUCH MY SOUL.

[fluffy_hime]

Is that one of those screaming ones?

::doesn't trust Xenius::

[SpiritualJunkie]

eeeek!...........that was grande xenius... lol

......but yeah, still 'Hella No!'............good try though.

Morbid.

[Shockwave]

No, Fluffy, it's just funny.

I can't believe you don't trust me. :cry:

I'm offended, shocked and hurt.

*feigns offense, shock and hurt*

[Kaisharga]

*shocks and hurts Xenius in an offensive manner*

[Scabs]

Heh, xenia, thanks for the funny link...and it really does get it right on the dot.

So the with the whole idea of having children, I think I'm going to have to agree with Fluffie whole heartedly.I was adopted myself, and have always said to myself that if i ever do have children, instead of refreshing the pop. problem I would much rather help out the ones who really need it.

I either plan on in say 8 or 9 years adopting a boy from vietnam or india.Reasons being A.These countries allow single parents to adopt B.There is a younger min age requirement. C. Well of course the most important, these countries are up the butt and out the mouth filled with people.

Some of the things I have seen and heard that people will do to get whatever leftovers/change from foreigners or people or more endowed then themselves revolt me in such a manner that NO ONE should ever have to do that.(Ex. wounding yourself severly and keeping the wound open at all times to get enough sympathy from others to collect enough change.) Now really how can you not want to take a kid with so much potential out of a situation where that could be a tool they eventually come to use. :(

When I do adopt..which heh is definetly something not happening soon , as I've just come to appreciate so much my Loner time :D . I'll prolly and up getting a 4 year old boy, cause as i see it most people cant remember anything before they are 4 ,and, well 4 is the age where they are no longer toddlers. Toddlers and babies...gah!Big no no in my book.They give me the shivers just thinking about them.

My mom's friend the other day brought over the new baby shes taking care of, and my mom thought it would be fun to introduce me to "it." Needless to say the moment i saw that thing, wiggling like a maniac in my moms arms, eyes bulging out of it's head ..I shut my door faster then lightning.

The vomiting,the pooping,the constant crying, I could never put myself through such agony.

Oh and this is a sidenote but it was discussed earlier, as many things have been in this thread, but I also have found myself loathing teenagers..me unfortunatly, being one myself.It was one of the many reasons I droped out of school my junior year.Heh, it also doesnt help that the contact I do have with teenagers is mostly of my no common sense,narcisstic,hypoctrictical, bull shit talking stepbrother , and his skanky girl friends that come over to our house and write him letters, which are left randomly amok the house about how much they want to guzzle his sperm.....

::runs to the bathroom to vomit the disgust of having thought of that again::

Anyhow, I'd like to say hi too all of you too, as I'm quite the newbling here right now.

[Harvey the Pooka]

The essential question is: WHY DO PEOPLE WISH TO HAVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN AT ALL? (I do not discuss the adoption issue here)

I have a deep (and dare say stable) emotional attachment with my partner. At the same time I feel no desire to have children. No impulse, no need, not even a trace of understanding why should I. Moreover, the ordeal of child rearing is sufficiently repulsive to me. As I lack an obviously very common motive, I've tried to find out how does it look like to have it. The motive, I mean.

And I was dissapointed. Or, at least, my little investigation yielded no deeper understanding. On the contrary, the issue seemed even farther beyond my grasp.

My little survey revealed that the vast majority of parents (in my little sample of 21 relatively normal, decent respondents) did not really give a profound, serious thought to whether they truly wished the offspring; generally, it was something "understood", "normal", "regular flow of events", something that, once "on the way", nature took care of.

Now, without an attempt to generalize the things, I got an impression that far too many couples believe that chlidless marriage is "weird", "strange", "abnormal", and so on. So, having kids seems to be (but, expectingly, people are not ready to admit this) a precondition for social acceptance. I was, moreover, surprised to hear how many people were inclined to consider themselves "less worthy", "somehow wrong", etc. if they could/would not have children. What has procreation to do with one's values & qualities?

My little inquiry also confirmed what I feared: children are often perceived as personal achievements of parents (roughly: I am better than you because I can produce better offspring). I can imagine that must be the way nature (and natural selection) works, but I find it too humiliating to admit. The others don't.

What is wrong with me? Am I too selfish for not wanting children? Or just badly lack the ego to draw me towards this challenge?

[Live R Perfect]

I wouldn't say that you were selfish for not wanting children. In fact there are a lot of parents out there who I'd say WERE selfish because they had children for the wrong reasons (as you mentioned in your post).

[Silly Green Monkey]

Hey Scabs, have you visited the Welcome forum yet?

I agree with you on the creepiness of babies, but I remember things from when I was two or three years old.

Wow, it's amazing that my first non-Welcome thread still has so much attention! Still, I wouldn't mind a little more action on my marriage question thread (Difficult Questions)-----unless there's nothing more to add?

[Scabs]

Nah, S.G.M.I'd much not rather prance around with my newbness, heh..I rather just blend in.

::slinks back away hopefully unnoticed::

[Silly Green Monkey]

but you ARE prancing in newness, we know nothing about you!

[fluffy_hime]

Scabs--China also allows single parents to adopt; minimum age for women is 30.

[Scabs]

Well then mission accomplished! :P

Monkey theres no need to worry, I am very asexual...and personally i think thats all there is to know.

[Lisa]

I've never really wanted children. I always feel somewhat uncomfortable around them.

And if, one day, I do want a child, then I'll adopt.

[Alya]

I tend to get along pretty well with the kids I see at work everyday (public library, lots of kids programs). They're cute in small-to-medium doses, but once they start screaming about something forget it. I am looking forward to being an auntie someday though. I'd like to make a fourth generation of unmarried and/or childless aunts in my family who help out with the munchkins. I had a great-great aunt, a great-aunt and my mom's two sisters to fuss over me as the first grandbaby (all of them childless) as well as a mother and a grandmother. I was a disgusting spoiled little brat of course, but I'd like to offer that to my younger brother's kids to be as well.

[Rich]

little kids are great....theyre so easy to please andI seem to be able to get on with them well...I usually end up talking to my firends younger siblings more than my firnds!!!!

But im only 17 and aint to fond at this monment in time of the idea of having my own kids...have to see what happens in teh future

[pyromancer]

I'm 36, going on 37. I made my mind up when I was about 15 that I never wanted children, and I've had no cause to regret it. My partner doesn't want any either, so we're pretty set to enjoy our lives together and then just fade out of the gene pool.

Reasons I don't want kids? Childern are an awesome responsibility. They need to be put first in everything for the first 18 years at least, your whole life purpose revolves arround raising them. Their education and development becomes the single over-riding driving force in your life (at least if you're doing it properly, IMO) - it's an insane ammount of work.

You need to spend an incredible ammount of tme with them, playing, exploring the world, explaining things, showing them stuff, teaching them how things work and how the world operates, nurturing their interests while you try and steer them on a reasonably safe course, while still allowing them to grow and develop and explore their own personality and ideals. You have to allow them to rebel, and grow into full people, even if that ends up clashing with your own ideals and beliefs, and at the end of it all you have to give them their freedom to build their own lives after they leave your safe nest.

Raising children properly is an incredible thing to do, and I have nothing but admiration for those who do it. Unfortunately, all too many parents nowadays seem to think all you need to do is stick the kids in front of a TV and games console when they need attention. :(

On top of all that, of course, they cost a fortune - as someone else said, in our post-industrial capitalist world, kids are an ecconomic liability. I choose to keep my wealth and my time for myself and my partner. And we definetly call ourselves "child free" instead of "child less" - it's a freedom we cherish.