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Are Asexuals More Likely to Avoid Children?


Silly Green Monkey

Do you want children?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1.

    • Absolutely
      29
    • Hardly
      130
    • Not right now, but later
      31


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fluffy_hime

LOL Cate! There is a recurring skit on Trigger Happy TV in which a guy with a GIGANTIC cell phone (I'm talking 3 feet long) goes around in public and when it rings loudly he has an absolutely LOUD conversation. It's hilarious.

Adolescent egocentrism is extremely common. "Imaginary audience" is just what you said, Cate, when an adolescent views themselves as actors and everyone else as the audience. Related is the "personal fable", in which the adolescent believes they are the "star" of a story and therefore have extraordinary abilities/privileges. (Might explain why teenagers have unprotected sex or drive like morons. Course..some people always drive like morons..)

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Live R Perfect
LOL Cate! There is a recurring skit on Trigger Happy TV in which a guy with a GIGANTIC cell phone (I'm talking 3 feet long) goes around in public and when it rings loudly he has an absolutely LOUD conversation. It's hilarious.

Oh, you have Trigger Happy TV in the US now too?! I wonder if it's the same guy (Dom Joly) ?

"HELLO! ...I'M IN THE LIBRARY!!"

Ha ha! :lol: Great show....

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Silly Green Monkey

Babies can't harm me, but they just look so fragile. Like a touch would cause them to self destruct.

Self-destructing a baby would probably cause me harm.

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I would like to adopt children some day, if i could provide a positive home to grow in. children can be so honest and imaginative. impressionable too, though. not sure i would be a good parent.

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I also wanted to apologise to any of you teenage AVENites out there for my earlier comments. I don't really hate all teenagers - just the obnoxious noisy ones!! I'm sure that I myself must have annoyed the hell out of grumpy men on buses when I was younger, though I'm pretty sure I was never THAT loud.
No offense taken. I hate teenagers as well, and I'm one myself!

Ohh, I have such terrible memories of riding the bus everyday from school with all of those damned screaming idiot monkeys. I really HATED riding the bus with all those obnoxious kids, and up until my senior year in high school, I was always the last one to get off the bus!

Thank goodness I don't have to be around kids anymore...although I do like kids who are quiet and polite. Sometimes I feel like I want a kid so that I could have someone to care for and protect, and who will love me back. But it's all too much maintenance. I think a pet would suffice.

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Babies can't harm me, but they just look so fragile. Like a touch would cause them to self destruct.

Self-destructing a baby would probably cause me harm.

Exactly! I'd rather parachute into an alligator infested swamp while being shot at with flaming arrows and Barry Manilow tunes are beamed directly into my head than be in the company of any kid below the age of three for very long.

Or am I perhaps overstating the case? :lol:

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I have NEVER wanted kids of my own. I think the world is too overpopulated as it is. But really, kids make me very uncomfortable. One, it's hard to explain something because you have to "dumb down" words. I have a hard time doing that, even with some adults. And explainations come with the constant stupid question for EVERYTHING of "Why? Why? Why? Why?" :? Two, they are very loud, I hate loud! :x Three, they can't do very much on their own except make messes. :( Four, they like to hang on people, and while I'm adjusting to the physical contact, I still don't usually like it. :evil: I'm sure the list goes on but I'm late for class :shock:

However, my gf has a 2 year old daughter. While she lives with her father, and so I've only actually met her 3 times, that fact is something I've had to adjust to. The first 2 times didn't go well. She reached out to touch me and I finched, unconsciously, so bad that I almost fell out the window behind me. And then, the second time she wanted to talk to me and stuff but I froze like a statue, not sure what to do. Yeah, kids really creep me out. But the 3rd time went much better. I had to put more effort into it and was still... skiddish, :? but my gf has a baby and that is something I have to adjust to. Especially considering that she wants all 3 of us to hang out more as soon as our schedules allow for it.

I still refuse to have any of my own, and fortunately my gf doesn't want any more either, ever. Cause that would be a def deal breaker. One I can handle, hopefully. She seems like a good, smart kid.

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One, it's hard to explain something because you have to "dumb down" words.

There's no real need to dumb down anything for children.

I just am myself, talk the way I talk. And if they don't understand something, they'll let you know what they don't understand.

That is if they are 6+ years old.

If they're toddlers, the conversation should have little to do with explaining.

And explainations come with the constant stupid question for EVERYTHING of "Why? Why? Why? Why?" :?

Yes, that's one thing I love about them. I hope I'm asking for reasons from those who are more knowledgeable than me when I'm seventy.

The child isn't stupid. He sees the world, how adults are set up as the leaders. They don't always understand why. Sometimes they have to experience a little trouble to understand that maybe the adults know what they're talking about.

The point is that they have to find out a lot of things.

Two, they are very loud, I hate loud! :x

They sure are.

Three, they can't do very much on their own except make messes. :(

One adult's mess can be one child's profound creation!

I usually say, "Woh! What an achievement!" And the child laughs.

Four, they like to hang on people, and while I'm adjusting to the physical contact, I still don't usually like it. :evil: I'm sure the list goes on but I'm late for class :shock:

Yes they often do. But if they're hanging on you, that shows that they think you're all right.

You must be a really nice, honest person.

I've heard the saying that insanity is what you get from your children.

Some of the things they do seem really crazy and wild. The shouts, the repeated words "Roller, roller, roller!"

I remember once thinking I was in an insane movie when my kids were playing.

They used to take the corntarch powder, secret it off and then pour it on the vinyl floors. They they'd slide on their stocking feet! It was so fun to listen to them.

Anyway, they did this one day when the ceiling fan was going, so the cornstarch got in the air as well as on the floor.

I was laughing hysterically, and my kids were too.

We got everything cleaned up without suffocating.

I never got angry at my kids for playing, just playing and singing.

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Yes they often do. But if they're hanging on you, that shows that they think you're all right.

You must be a really nice, honest person.

I'm "nice" when I restrain myself. I've noticed that there are 2 types of kids. 1, those that for some odd reason won't come anywhere near me. 2, those that get their kicks out of pushing my buttons. I prefer the 1st kind. And I still think "dumbing down" words in needed. If I explain something like I usually would, they often understand very little of what I said. And then I try it again, and no luck. I have to talk like an idiot for them to get it. And their messes, it might look interesting or something to you, but to me it's just a mess. Especially if I'm the one that has to pick it up. That thing with the powder? I'd have totally lost it :evil: Because no matter how much fun you they had, you still need to clean it up. It does NOT belong on the floor.

Like I said, I don't like kids, they bug me. Then again most adults do too.

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Silly Green Monkey

Xendara, I think what you're referring to are what my teacher calls "levels of abstraction". We all think on various levels of abstraction, and get along best with those close to the same level. Relationships where one partner increases their level of abstraction while the other stays at the same level, tend to fail. They just don't find enough common ground anymore.

Levels of abstraction refer to how much information you impart, how detailed it is, and how specific it is. For example, Tolkein writes at a very low level of abstraction. He spends pages and pages writing on small details, while other authors don't care about or even think about the small background details.

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Thanx Liverlicker!

My kids have reassured me of that now that two are grown and one will graduate high school next year.

How time flies.

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fluffy_hime

I agree Liver! What an awesome mom, to let her kids spread powder all over the floor and play! A good rainy day activity.

Kids do ask a lot of questions, but I think it's cute. It really makes you think--they ask "why" and you stop and you think "well, I don't really know why." They don't take anything for granted, they evaluate everything. I remember when I volunteered at Head Start last semester, we went on a tractor through an orchard for Halloween, and there were these really crappy plywood figures. But to them, they were scary and soon there were 20 3, 4, and 5 year olds SCREAMING every time we passed one. It was great. They make you see everything through new eyes. I heard once the average 4 year old asks over 800 questions a day. My mom tells me that was a low average for me. :wink: I babysat a 4 year old and the job didn't work out, but in the 6 hours I was there, she asked at LEAST 800 questions.

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No, definitely I would not want children even if there were a way to have them without ever having to go through intercourse or pregnancy. I have vaguely considered the option of adopting a kid just because I fear being alone in my old age but I guess this is a selfish way of thinking of things.

I just feel uncomfortable around kids. The real reason is tragic though- it really is sad :cry: I feel uncomfortable because I get depressed around kids. All my life I have spent wanting to return to childhood and all my childhood I spent trying to avoid growing up. Now the prospect of growing old is freaking me out.

I don't want children- I want to be a kid myself! I guess this is because I think I have missed out on a lot of stuff even though all was well with my childhood until the age of 12 -after which point it was living hell :evil:

so even if I adopted a kid I would just be jealous of him/her. Jealous of all the opportunities that lie in wait for him/her.

I don't know -even my growth was stunted so after childhood I guess I just fell back to a kind of halflife): :cry:

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Edit Note: Some dumb hacker changed the title of this thread :roll: It's been changed back to the original title.

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Silly Green Monkey

Well at least the hacker's got a sense of humor! (considering the other thread of mine that I saw changed) :D

meh, another face... I don't use them!

no poetry no!

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I don't much like kids.... ever since I droped my baby brother when I was like 11 o.<

heak, maybe even before that. I don't know what to do... or how to act... it's uncomfortable.

There are 2 kids who I've been able to handle alright... my baby bro [except for that droping incident.... lol] and my baby cousin. I love them both to bits.

I'd NEVER want kids of my own. For a couple of reasons- the main one is because I don't feel I have the right to bring another innocent life into this hell hole we like to call earth. What a view on life eh? Lol, I've scared my friends pretty good with that bit of info.

And I just don't think I'd make a good mother... even though my friends have said otherwise- they're wrong in this case, and I've no idea where they ever got that impression any way. Ugh.

And then of corse I feel that a child is best off in a stable, two parent household- something I don't feel I could, nor do I want to, provide.

And then there's all the depression and the like junk that runs in my family- and that, if nothing else, is something I've ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to impose on any one else. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

And ditto the whole hateing teenagers while still being a teenager thing. It scares me to think about how the youth of today are to become the leaders of tomorrow *shutters*

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Silly Green Monkey

Regarding this thread, it's possible that many sexuals also wish to avoid children. According to Wired for Sex on TechTV, in the next century the world population will crash. They looked at Tokyo, and noticed that the number of children is dropping. In the countryside around Tokyo, the absence of children is noted as well. The analysts said that children are no longer worshipped and sought after, they are seen as liabilities in a world where space is limited and money is tight. As someone said about the Sims (in March or Feb's Reader's Digest humor section), "Never get a child. They just take up food and never bring in any money." They also said that Tokyo was showing future trends of the world, that everywhere would start to show a decrease in children. That is already happening, faster than other experts thought. They thought that women in Third World countries would start to produce fewer children as the nations prospered, but the women have started cutting down on children ahead of schedule. To find out more, go to http://www.newscientist.com/hottopics/popu...p?id=ns99993444 and read. I so love New Scientist... it's fun.

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fluffy_hime

::nods::

Allow me to quote...myself.

. . .A couple things to remember when those neo-Malthusians start ringing the apocalypse bell: most estimates I've seen predict the population will top out at 11 or 12 billion. Why? Human population goes through four stages.

First: Birth rate = death rate

Second Stage: Death rate drops dramatically

Third Stage: Birth rate drops dramatically

Fourth: Birth rate = death rate (maybe even Birth rate < death rate)

The first stage was pre-good longevity. Third world countries are in the second stage. But they will plateau, because they are going through what Europe and America did a hundred years ago. I think some developed nations are even approaching negative population growth, like Italy.

So don't arm your nuclear warheads yet!

See spiffy visual aide.

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I'm not at all comfortable around younger kids, like pre-grade-school-age. Even when I was around school-age I wasn't at all comfortable around babies and the like, even my younger brothers, and didn't know how to relate. I'm not a physical person when it comes to my interacting with other people, and and with young kids "physical" is generally a big part of interaction. With older kids it depends on if we have any common ground such as a common interest, where I could pass on what I know and learn a thing or two at the same time. :) I like kids a whole lot, it's just a matter of relating.

I've never had any desire for kids of my own, mainly because I'm not at all comfortable with having parental privileges and wouldn't be able to deal with the trouble-handling aspects as well as I'd want to. (It's the same thing as why I don't want anything to do with managerial or supervisory privileges. I opt for cooperative instead.) But I do think there's a lot I could offer to kids in guidance and teaching and passing on my knowledge, and I wouldn't mind having an opportunity to do so, as long as there's not too much structure to it. I could go the niece/nephew route -- I have two as of now -- but unfortunately because relatives had ignored their obligation of unconditional acceptance and subjected me to a bunch of phycho-bullshit growing up, it is now totally outside of my capacity to truly be myself around any family. And it's impossible for me to relate to my nieces/nephews the way I want to because of it, right now to say nothing of the future when they become scchool-age *whimpers*

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Well, I replied "hardly" since it fits at the moment. I probably would have added an option like, "definitely not now... MAYBE later."

I am not the best with kids, though I'm told that "it's different when they're yours." I am one of those who feels uncomfortable when they are very young and require a lot of hands-on power-washing. :D I have a friend who's three year old nephew is around a lot. I've watched him growing up to a degree. He can be quite fun, and is incredibly intelligent, saying the "darndest things," but on the other hand, he is a total handful with a will of his own, and after about three hours I'm ready to head for the hills. And the whole nose-picking thing reaaallllly bothers me. :D For some reason, though, he really likes me and asks about me when I'm not around, which I must admit makes me feel good.

Most kids who don't know me act like I creep them out, and I suspect it is because they sense my discomfort with them. I tend to, if handed a baby, instinctively hold it at arm's length wondering how long I have to keep it before I pass it back. :wink: I will engage in "play" with young kids, but I feel weird like I'm faking it to not let others around suspect that I'm a heartless child hater or something. :lol: Once kids get old enough to be their "own person" it depends entirely on the personality of the kid. And the thought of having a teenager that I'm responsible for scares me to death. Maybe I've just seen one too many "whatever, whatever, I'll do what I want!" episodes of Maury Povich. :D

So anyways... definitely not now. If I don't acquire a taste for sexuality and get married, then not ever. So... not now, a big MAYBE someday.

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And they've got these big heads and they can't even walk but they're always trying to and in the meantime they're crawling around and putting things in their mouth and whoknowswhat and beforeyouknowit they might I don't know break or spontaneously combust or something

Hey! I don't remember you visiting my house! When where you here? Because that's exactly what life with my son is like. And "yard apes?" I love that! I'm going to remember that one and try to casually drop it into my conversations with other moms.

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I really, really don't like children. My love wants to have some eventually - I told him to carry them himself, or get a vasectomy and adopt. I have nearly no maternal instinct. When I see a child, I worry that either it will vomit or perform some other unpleasant bodily function on me, or cry. And a crying child is more likely to induce me to attempt to destroy it's larynx than to comfort it.

Somehow, however, children do indeed gravitate towards me. When I'm in a good enough mood, I attempt to corrupt said children - for my personal amusement more than to entertain them - and they're also pretty quiet when you're telling them that Cthulhu lurks beneath their bed and only by offering blood sacrifices of small animals can one appease the Elder Gods into eating the parents and not the child.

My littlest cousin owes all her bad habits to me, because of this proclivity. I'm not terribly fond of humans in general (see the Church of Euthanasia for an extreme version of my views) and small humans are no more cute and cuddly than their larger relatives.

Ugh. So no little maggots to pop out of my body, thank ye. Although I just know I'm eventually going to be coerced into it...

-LD

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fluffy_hime
And a crying child is more likely to induce me to attempt to destroy it's larynx than to comfort it.

Your maternal instincts awe me!

Although I just know I'm eventually going to be coerced into it...

Yech! Good luck with that.

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I'd love children one day. Maybe I'd end up adopting? I dunno. I love kids though.

-Doc

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And a crying child is more likely to induce me to attempt to destroy it's larynx than to comfort it.

:lol: I don't know which is more disturbing... your words, or how hard and long I laughed at it. Thanks! :lol:

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Guest Trix4theRabbits

I wouldnt mind babysitting a niece or nephew once in a while but thats the extent my ever having children will go...i used to babysit as a job a couple years ago...kids like me but i dont always like them

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I can't believe I never responded to this thread.

No, I do not desire human progeny, especially not of my own unholy creation.

But I wonder if this general negative outlook toward offspring can be contributed more to our being asexual, or whether it's merely a sign of the times, so to speak.

That is, may this have been helped due to the fact that we generally live in post-industrial capitalist societies in which children are economic liabilities?

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