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Are Asexuals More Likely to Avoid Children?


Silly Green Monkey

Do you want children?  

1 member has voted

  1. 1.

    • Absolutely
      29
    • Hardly
      130
    • Not right now, but later
      31


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Silly Green Monkey

I have never wanted to "have" children of my own, and have been uncomfortable around the children of others. Babies especially scare me. Is this something asexuals are prone to?

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im not a fan of children.. i dont like physical contact much, and kids seem intent on hugging and kissing and the like. i also have no idea at all how to talk to them..... i love my nephew to bits. But as for children of my own- not for me.

i wouldnt know if it was an asexual trait though... im guessing were as varied in that as we are in other things

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I can't decide which vote to cast. However, I have no fear of children. I spend 40 hours a week teaching big people (ages 14-21), 10 hours a week tutoring after school, and 10 additional hours tutoring little people(ages 8 - 14). Kids are great but I have about 48 kids right now. I don't want anymore at the moment.

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bard of aven

Don't like 'em. Don't want any. Don't want to be around any, at least until late childhood/early adolescence, when their thinking begins to go beyond the literal. I enjoy being around teenagers in structured settings. I had a lot of fun teaching high school; sophomores and juniors were the best grades. But the three best things about teaching were still June, July, and August.

boa

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fluffy_hime

I love babies/kids. Sometimes I'm uncomfortable because they tend to just come up and touch me, but that's a LOT less uncomfortable than if a grown person did it (I would shriek and run away.) But once I'm around them for awhile, and figure out how to talk to them, it's great. I volunteered at Head Start last semester.

I want to adopt a girl from China. Some day, far far away.

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I'm a bit old to be having children, but I adore them.

Some children just gravitate toward me.

When I was fourteen I remember teaching a little girl who was only about six or seven about volcanoes on the moon and how the "seas" were created there.

I taught a neighbor's son to read and about geography when I was about twenty. We both lived in a very poor neighborhood, and he said I was the only one who would really teach him anything.

I remember just sitting beside a girl who was about three or four years old and she took a long look at me. I couldn't make eye contact with her, but I gave her my most sincere, neutral look, thinking, "it's just me," and she just put her arms around me. All I could think was, "how amazing children are."

I like it when they talk about what they imagine. When I was small, there was a duality in my thinking. When I looked at a map of the world, I saw the map, the world, and then I saw forms of people and objects I imagined in the land-mass shapes. Simple names, complex things- that is what childhood is all about! Children see things in and around things we adults don't, because everything is new to them.

I remember that feeling.

It was beautiful, and I can still see things in things.

Even now, I can connect mentally with my grandchild, who is only six months old. I remember doing so when she was only about an hour old.

Yes, it's safe to say I adore children in a one-on-one or one-on-three situation perhaps. I love teaching them through their thoughts.

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nieces & nephews are enough for me right now... they flock to me like pigeons on a statue... & yes, i do get crapped on at times. not literally, though. anyway, yeah. nieces & nephews are good for me now, but i'd adopt when i'm in my late 30s-early 40s.

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I've never been exactly sure about what to DO with children. This despite being the oldest kid in my family and being used as a free babysitter on countless occasions.

For some reason that I can't explain, my siblings made me VERY uncomfortable and I didn't enjoy any sort of physical contact with them at all.

(Sibling rivalry, maybe?)

Later on, babysitting for money, I was surprised to find that contact with other children didn't bother me nearly as much. I had no qualms about holding small children until they fell asleep on my shoulder and then putting them to bed. It seemed much more efficient than trying to get them to stay in bed until they went to sleep on their own.

I've never had any desire to have children of my own, though. I don't think I would be a good parent and I would hate to afflict the planet with any more psychotic humans. 'Doing my small part to help the population problem!

-Greybird

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I have never wanted to have children of my own, and have been uncomfortable around the children of others. Babies especially scare me. Is this something asexuals are prone to?

Don't think so. I myself voted that I didn't want children, mainly because I don't think my body could take the physical pain involved but I like kids in general as long as they're not screaming or bratty. They're fun.

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Silly Green Monkey

Something I'd like to add, I also am against having children of my own because I don't want the sex to create them, I don't want the pregnancy to grow them, and I don't want to have birth. I rather like having control over my bodily functions. :shock:

Perhaps I don't like the thought of a person depending on me, not under my control, but whom I am expected to control anyway.

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Naw. If I'd wanted kids by now I'd have adopted some or had them cloned or whatever. But there's always something far more interesting to do and, besides, between my nieces and my friend's kids, I'm already everyone's favorite freakin' babysitter. :roll:

Kids are okay after they've grown enough to talk and generally take care of themselves, but toddlers and younger give me the screaming fantods. I mean, they're so little! :shock: And they've got these big heads and they can't even walk but they're always trying to and in the meantime they're crawling around and putting things in their mouth and whoknowswhat and beforeyouknowit they might I don't know break or spontaneously combust or something 'cause they're so little and fragile and then I'd feel horrible andhavetogoliveinacavesorsomething!!!

<pant pant pant>

So, that's my closely reasoned views on children.

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Cate Perfect
Kids are okay after they've grown enough to talk and generally take care of themselves, but toddlers and younger give me the screaming fantods. I mean, they're so little! :shock: And they've got these big heads and they can't even walk but they're always trying to and in the meantime they're crawling around and putting things in their mouth and whoknowswhat and beforeyouknowit they might I don't know break or spontaneously combust or something 'cause they're so little and fragile and then I'd feel horrible andhavetogoliveinacavesorsomething!!!

I agree.

I also second Midwinter's assertion about not knowing what to say to them, 'Hey, how're your stocks doing...read any Dostoyevsky...do you think Bush and Kerry are equally annoying as well?' Just doesn't really go over. I have 11 nieces and nephews and I'm not comfortable with one of them. Little freedom sucking, weirdo, alien looking things.

I do like making goofy faces at little babies in stores and making them laugh, though. Laughing babies are good.

Cate

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I love children, and would love to be a mother!!!!!!!

But i can't see it happening :(

As i can't even find anyone who will accept me or love me and the whole sexual side of things never mind the whole impersonal medical interventions with pregnancy, it would be a huge step for me to take.

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fluffy_hime
Kids are okay after they've grown enough to talk and generally take care of themselves, but toddlers and younger give me the screaming fantods.

Awww, but Jim, toddlers and babies are the BEST kind!

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I have never wanted to have children of my own, and have been uncomfortable around the children of others. Babies especially scare me. Is this something asexuals are prone to?

I would prefer painful death to having children. Children annoy me greatly. Babies.....mmmmm, baby.

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Live R Perfect
When I was small, there was a duality in my thinking. When I looked at a map of the world, I saw the map, the world, and then I saw forms of people and objects I imagined in the land-mass shapes.

Hey! I'm still like that! Maybe I never grew up after all! :wink:

I am particularly not fond of teenagers.... I had to sit on a bus today on the way to work with about 20 of the little buggers screaming, shouting and swearing over the top of each other. I was THIS close *demonstrates a small distance with thumb and forefinger* to totally flipping out. In my imagination I saw myself jump up, spin round and unleash a verbal torrent in their general direction, telling them to shut the f*&k up and talk to each other at a reasonable volume. Then I had a second vision of me jumping up, spinning round and pulling out a large machine gun, mowing them all down, and then sitting back down and relaxing for the rest of my journey.

Ahem. So I don't think its a good idea for me to have kids... :roll:

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Babies, children, or teens do not offend or scare me. I niether dislike or

like the company of them. I don't expect kids, teens or babies to act like

anything but themselves. Toddlers do what they do because they are

toddlers. Babies cry because they are. I expect teens to act goofy. That's

the way they are.

I don't want kids because:

(1) My personality type is not suited to be a parent,

(2) I don't wish to be married. The fact is that kids are better off in

stable, two-parent families.

My lack of desire for sex has no affect on having/not having kids. There is

adoption, in-virto fertilization and cloning (in the future).

Another factor is that childbirth is painful. Why should I want for someone

to go thru so much pain just to have my kid? Since the woman has to

carry the child and birth it, she should have some say in the matter.

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I have never wanted to have children of my own, and have been uncomfortable around the children of others. Babies especially scare me. Is this something asexuals are prone to?

What possible harm could babies do to you?

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Liver! Stop the hate and violence! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Blasphemy!

And Apollo, good point. Babies are damn annoying, but they can't hurt anything. Baby. *mouth waters*

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I want to adopt a girl from China. Some day, far far away.

Fluffy, my friend did that and she has never regretted it. She got a beautiful baby girl.

I don't know how to answer this either. I LOVE babies, could cuddle and rock them all day but once they turn into yard apes I keep my distance (except for my niece because I am allowed to read her the riot act if she doesn't behave so we're cool).

I don't know if it's an asexual thing. If it IS, it's because the stigma is still that you "have" to be married to have a family. This isn't my feeling but it's obvious when two people who barely know each other get married just because they're pregnant. I'm sure there are many As who want kids. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason my mum married was because she wanted kids.

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Live R Perfect
Liver! Stop the hate and violence! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Ahhh, but that was imaginary violence. In reality I don't have a violent bone in my body. :wink:

I don't wish to be married. The fact is that kids are better off in stable, two-parent families.

I disagree with that. I was brought up by my mother, and she had several different partners during my childhood and teens. None of these men treated me as their own son, but I have still grown up to be a pretty well adjusted person.

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fluffy_hime

I want to adopt because, as others have said, I am averse to having an internal parasite for almost a year only to expell it with extreme pain. Also, I don't want to do the deed to make it, and there are plenty of children already borne who desperately need homes. In China, because of the one-child law and because boys are still more "worthy", female infanticide is still a problem, and the orphanages are overflowing with girls.

No one asked, I was just expanding my comment. ^_^

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Live R Perfect

I also wanted to apologise to any of you teenage AVENites out there for my earlier comments. I don't really hate all teenagers - just the obnoxious noisy ones!! I'm sure that I myself must have annoyed the hell out of grumpy men on buses when I was younger, though I'm pretty sure I was never THAT loud. :wink:

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bard of aven
I don't wish to be married. The fact is that kids are better off in stable, two-parent families.

I disagree with that. I was brought up by my mother, and she had several different partners during my childhood and teens. None of these men treated me as their own son, but I have still grown up to be a pretty well adjusted person.

Who wants to machine gun adolescents on public conveyances. Hmm.

boa

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I have a current in me that is somewhat dour, and serious, and can be very adult(even as a child i had this)

but i have an opposing current sometimes of being very playful, and liking things only children should like, and wanting to be a child forever

-however unlike michael jackson who wants to be a child, and hang out with them, i have no desire to be with or amongst them...

somehow i think in due time(by which i'd mean at least over 15 years)if i wanted a child i feel i would raise a child in a much better way then many people do, but i really don't think i'd ever want to have one in any manner..

short of when i was one myself i've rarely been exposed to them, i have no siblings, and no close extended family...

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I'm not comfortable around children until they are capable of lucid, intelligent conversation.

So will I have children? Magic 8-Ball says... not likely.

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Cate Perfect

boa, I *was* raised in a two parent household and *I* want to machine gun obnoxious teens, as well. So I think that's just a normal reaction to annoying people. I also want to off people who 1) whistle along with the muzak in stores and elevators 2) have involved conversations on their mobiles loudly and in public 3) talk about their insides/therapy/childhood trauma with people who didn't ask and don't care....The list goes on. I don't do those things (and when I was a teen I kept myself to myself and minded my own business) and all I want is the courtesy returned.

That rather sounds as if I'm mad at you, boa. Hmmm. I'm not, I've simply had it up to here *indicates eye level* of people who think they're the star of their very own reality television show, where every moment must be dramatic and everything is about them. Teens excel at those things.

**Disclaimer: not all the teens on AVEN included**

Cate

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