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What were you assigned at birth? What is your gender identity?


Picklethewickle

What you were assigned at birth?  

106 members have voted

  1. 1. What were you assigned at birth?

    • Female
      73
    • Male
      30
    • prefer not to say
      3
  2. 2. What is your identity?

    • Cis-gender female
      40
    • Cis-gender male
      12
    • Genderqueer
      10
    • Bigender
      0
    • Non-binary
      17
    • Agender
      10
    • Androgyne
      3
    • Transgender
      13
    • Pangender
      2
    • Genderfluid
      7
    • Neutrois
      3
    • Demigender
      6
    • other
      7
    • My gender identity isn't listed! How rude of you
      3
    • prefer not to say
      0
    • Xenogender
      2
    • Trans woman/ Transfeminine
      1
    • Trans Man/ Transmasculine
      2
    • I don't have one
      2

This poll is closed to new votes


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Picklethewickle

I'm curious, and maybe confused, about the practice of binary sex assignment, which is the reason I'm limiting that poll to the two sex options.

 

To people who are not cis-gendered, I want this poll to reach you because I hope to hear about how binary sex assignment impacts peoples' lives and experiences. To people of all gender identities, please share your experiences both within and without the practice of gender binary.

 

This is not intended as a "Yeah, but what's in your pants?" survey. Please feel free to share your stories while leaving the poll unfilled if that makes you more comfortable.

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I was assigned "Male" at birth. I am nonbinary, and fall under the transgender umbrella.

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AMAB. Gender identity means nothing to me though. I'll only ever be judged on being male by sex so I just don't care. My own experiences are negative so I'd rather not share. Being AMAB is horrible in many many ways.

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Purple Red Panda

AMAB and identify as non-binary specifically agender. I only found out about non-binary gender identities less than 10 years ago, wish I had known earlier but I got there in the end.

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afab. im indifferent to gender tbh. agender-esque leaning unlabeled

 

i dont actually give a frick tbh

 

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Another AMAB.

As far as gender identity I'd say undecided or not sure or something. I often wish I had been born female (in the sense of things like XX chromosomes and such). I do like many things that are stereotypically considered feminine/female on the society/culture I reside in. But I have no intention of going full time or trying to transition in any way. I've gone through male puberty; I feel like any attempt to transition would cause me more dysphoria than not transitioning does. In the end, I'm not that bothered enough to do what it takes. I'm not sure if that makes me trans or cis or neither or both or something else.

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I identify as more than one of those gender identities, please let us pick more than one option.  LOL

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Picklethewickle
24 minutes ago, alto said:

I identify as more than one of those gender identities, please let us pick more than one option.  LOL

Sorry, I fucked up. I edited the poll to allow more than one choice, but I don't know if I did it right this time either.

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AMAB.  Not difficult to see how that happened, as I clearly have a "guy" body. 

 

Don't really associate with "male" though, so I settled with agender.  I don't really experience dysphoria, at least not in the sense it's usually known as, because it isn't like there's something else I would rather be instead.

 

I feel like my experience may be less about strictly gender, and more about the sense of me not really being able to associate with my body in general, and that this would be the case no matter what kind of body I had.

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I'm reading your question as "how has being trans affected your life?"

I'm AFAB, but I don't have a lot of physical dysphoria. I'm still a boy, I just look like this.

But because of how ingrained gender expectations/traditions are, people assume due to my appearance that I am a girl. Actually, it lead to me having a really bad phase of doing everything I could to appear more masculine and crying because I knew that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't properly pass without medical transition, which I knew I didn't want.

That was such a problem for me because social dysphoria was getting to me too much. I had to work and understand that strangers are not going to immediately read me as my gender, but that I can at least have my friends and family understand who I am, and they do!

 

It's always difficult explaining my gender (or my orientation) to people, and I think the only people that really get it are the people I talk to online, because they're all in queer spaces, and understand enough about all the different types of genders to easily understand my gender. In real life, I've been met with "how are you a boy but also neutral? That doesn't make any sense." I completely understand that it's confusing when you hear it for the first time, but doubting it and speaking that way really doesn't give me much confidence, either. It's tricky because above all, I'd still say I'm non-binary, however I still prefer he/him pronouns.

 

It's rough as a young AFAB trans person. One of the biggest things held against us is ROGD (Rapid On-set Gender Dysphoria) which is the result of a very harmful study, which tries to conclude that young trans people are just suddenly "getting the idea" from the internet, and use being trans as a means of escaping other mental health problems, e.g. depression. They argue that this leads to irreversible damage when they begin medical transition, and "eventually realise" that they weren't trans. There is an entire book on this which damages specifically young AFAB trans people. The main issue is that it basically calls us "sad and confused little girls" who can't think for themselves and just blindly follow what influencers say- and it's ironic that specifically AFAB trans people are facing misogyny here. There are slightly different issues faced by trans women and non-binary people, but our fight is still the same.

 

But I don't want to leave this on a sad note. I'm glad I found out I was trans! I feel like I have such a better grasp of myself and have a lot more confidence, due to how much introspection it took to figure all of this stuff out. I've gotten a lot of joy, acceptance, and friends, through being queer!

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nickolekuebler

I am amab, I identify as a demiwoman or demifemale. I only really started to understand genders outside of the binary in the last couple of years, before I always identified myself as a trans woman and realized that it felt slightly wrong to me. I feel feminine, I know this to be true but I also feel like I am not entirely female. for me I noticed that I do not like to wear makeup very often, and I do like to dress more androgynously. I am not really sure what to say exactly so I will just say that it was a dream that I had one night that made me really take a look at myself and relabel my identity, and I am very glad that I did. I feel like it is one of those things to where I might feel slightly different now than I did when I was younger but ultimately I feel like I am in the right place now and I feel like I now know that it is ok if this changes in the future, and I do believe that is possible but I do not believe that it will ever feel different than feminine for me. I can remember being about 5 years old and going to bed every night praying to wake up as a girl and that feeling has not changed for my body anyways. 

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I just noticed the poll had changed to allow multiple picks on Question two, so I have answered on there now :) 

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Just wanted to say I find the poll odd that it has cis male and female, but then 'transgender' as an identity. Which is weird in itself but there's not trans female (or woman) or male which makes it hard to answer xD. Not that I was gonna vote, but just wanted to comment.

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I didn't know what half of these meant. (Not trying to be rude, I'm just new to the community.) So, I googled the ones I didn't know, but I still have a question.

 

Demigender is for people who "don't feel a full connection to any gender, or don't feel a full connection to the concept of gender."

Does that just mean that you don't see yourself as either? If so, how does that differ from agender and/or nonbinary.

Or does that mean that you see yourself as having a gender, but you don't really feel a special connection to it? You wouldn't really care if you just spontaneously swapped parts. You wouldn't be happy, like most transgender people would, but you wouldn't be upset or unhappy like most cisgender people. If this is the case, though, isn't that more of a preference than a gender identity, because you would still identify as having a gender, and you just wouldn't care about it?

Hope someone can answer my question (or questions, depending on if you think of it as one really long question, or several short ones). Thanks.

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6 hours ago, Philip027 said:

I don't really experience dysphoria, at least not in the sense it's usually known as, because it isn't like there's something else I would rather be instead.

 

I feel like my experience may be less about strictly gender, and more about the sense of me not really being able to associate with my body in general, and that this would be the case no matter what kind of body I had.

Sometimes, I wish I had no body. To be just a consciousness, drifting. Anyone else ever feel that way?

 

Also, I know it hasn't been long since I posted them, but would does anyone know the answer to my previously posted question?

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15 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Just wanted to say I find the poll odd that it has cis male and female, but then 'transgender' as an identity. Which is weird in itself but there's not trans female (or woman) or male which makes it hard to answer xD. Not that I was gonna vote, but just wanted to comment.

but then you’d have to include transfemme & transmasc enby people and possibly (i’m not sure about this, as i can relate to binary genders) a trans[-neither] option. 😜

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14 hours ago, Absentminded said:

I didn't know what half of these meant. (Not trying to be rude, I'm just new to the community.) So, I googled the ones I didn't know, but I still have a question.

 

Demigender is for people who "don't feel a full connection to any gender, or don't feel a full connection to the concept of gender."

Does that just mean that you don't see yourself as either? If so, how does that differ from agender and/or nonbinary.

Or does that mean that you see yourself as having a gender, but you don't really feel a special connection to it? You wouldn't really care if you just spontaneously swapped parts. You wouldn't be happy, like most transgender people would, but you wouldn't be upset or unhappy like most cisgender people. If this is the case, though, isn't that more of a preference than a gender identity, because you would still identify as having a gender, and you just wouldn't care about it?

Hope someone can answer my question (or questions, depending on if you think of it as one really long question, or several short ones). Thanks.

i’m messing in here as someone not exactly qualified. someone please correct me if i’m wrong.

 

‘don't feel a full connection to any gender’ == do feel a connection to a gender, but not full (if gender were a numerical scale from 0 to 1, e.g. 0.5).

or don't feel a full connection to the concept of gender’ == do feel a connection to the concept of gender (& likely also to a gender), but not full.

 

agender people don’t feel a connection to any gender at all; demigender people can call themselves nonbinary (note that ‘nonbinary’ is a really big umbrella term). i’m not qualified to even attempt to answer the rest.

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34 minutes ago, sketch of a person said:

but then you’d have to include transfemme & transmasc enby people and possibly (i’m not sure about this, as i can relate to binary genders) a trans[-neither] option. 😜

Well then why wouldn't it be just 'cisgender' and why isn't there female or male by itself?

 

Also I wouldn't call transgender an identity, since all it means is the identity we do have differs from birth assigned.

 

 

And, non-binary usually covers the rest, unless someone would want to go very detailed.

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Picklethewickle
On 12/19/2022 at 7:09 PM, Milque Toast said:

I'm reading your question as "how has being trans affected your life?"

That's definitely in the scope of what I intended for this question! Thank you for sharing your story and letting me understand your experiences. It sounds like there are hardships in your life beyond anything I've personally dealt with being non-binary. I'm glad that you have good things in your life connected to being trans too, and I hope it stays that way. Just by living your life honestly you are helping other people be safe and fulfilled living theirs.

 

On 12/19/2022 at 7:09 PM, Milque Toast said:

One of the biggest things held against us is ROGD (Rapid On-set Gender Dysphoria) which is the result of a very harmful study, which tries to conclude that young trans people are just suddenly "getting the idea" from the internet, and use being trans as a means of escaping other mental health problems, e.g. depression. They argue that this leads to irreversible damage when they begin medical transition, and "eventually realise" that they weren't trans. There is an entire book on this which damages specifically young AFAB trans people. The main issue is that it basically calls us "sad and confused little girls" who can't think for themselves and just blindly follow what influencers say- and it's ironic that specifically AFAB trans people are facing misogyny here.

There is so much "Yikes!" packaged into this. This "study" needs to be discounted fast. It's horrible that people are told their feelings aren't real, and that they can't think for themselves. 

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Picklethewickle
On 12/19/2022 at 8:02 PM, nickolekuebler said:

I am amab, I identify as a demiwoman or demifemale. I only really started to understand genders outside of the binary in the last couple of years, before I always identified myself as a trans woman and realized that it felt slightly wrong to me. I feel feminine, I know this to be true but I also feel like I am not entirely female. for me I noticed that I do not like to wear makeup very often, and I do like to dress more androgynously. I am not really sure what to say exactly so I will just say that it was a dream that I had one night that made me really take a look at myself and relabel my identity, and I am very glad that I did. I feel like it is one of those things to where I might feel slightly different now than I did when I was younger but ultimately I feel like I am in the right place now and I feel like I now know that it is ok if this changes in the future, and I do believe that is possible but I do not believe that it will ever feel different than feminine for me. I can remember being about 5 years old and going to bed every night praying to wake up as a girl and that feeling has not changed for my body anyways. 

You've expressed yourself wonderfully. 

 

It's hard not knowing the right word to identify ourselves, and not knowing how to feel comfortable in our own bodies. It helps hearing about how you came to understand who you are. At least we got there in the end!

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Picklethewickle
On 12/19/2022 at 8:15 PM, Sammie Claus said:

I just noticed the poll had changed to allow multiple picks on Question two, so I have answered on there now :) 

I messed that up the first time, not realizing I only allowed one option. Thankfully it was pointed out so I could fix it.

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Picklethewickle
On 12/19/2022 at 9:22 PM, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Just wanted to say I find the poll odd that it has cis male and female, but then 'transgender' as an identity. Which is weird in itself but there's not trans female (or woman) or male which makes it hard to answer xD. Not that I was gonna vote, but just wanted to comment.

You raise a good point, and I agonized over this a bit. How could I include everyone? How specific could I be before it became a semantics debate? If I said transitioned to female, do specify born male-bodied and completed all surgery and hormone treatments? What about people who haven't completed all surgeries, don't want all forms of treatment, or haven't had treatments yet? What about people born intersex but willingly chose surgery, would any of them want to identify as trans? That's just the specifics of the physical body, what about the range of identity within the term transgender?

 

I realized there was no way I could express everything clearly, and I would end up leaving out someone by oversight, mistake, or poor word choices. That's what led to the more limited option of "Transgender" and the "My gender identity isn't listed" option.

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Picklethewickle
On 12/19/2022 at 11:20 PM, _River_ said:

I am xenogender, nonbinary,  and transgender

I regret not adding Xenogender. I added it, even though that means it's awkwardly shoved in at the bottom now.

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