Does anyone totally not date at all?

[BleedingThrough]

I don't date. Only had one bf and that wasn't even a serious relationship because I was in middle school at the time. I'm fine being single although all my relative and friends wanna set me up (they dunno I'm asexual though).

[Shouri]

I've never really 'dated. I signed up for okcupid mostly though to meet others, haven't really done so yet. I tried dating one guy on there, he was not bad... but he was very very sexual, and kind of immature... though he was also 3 years younger than I which may have had something to do about it.

I dislike bars, drunken parties, and enjoy quiet alone time, hikes and more mature parties like hours de'orvres and wine. So this makes it hard to meet people my age (i'm 27).

I guess I just keep hoping that someone will just pop into my life... my folks met through work, so why not? I'm in no hurry really, if it happens, it happens.. until then it's nice being single hoping to meet Mr. Right.

[magcat]

I have never dated,gone to bars etc. I've only just recently realised that I maybe asexual so unfortunately I saw it as failure, a gaping chasm of difference between me and the world. as these feelings have been lifelong, they are deeply embedded and proving difficult to budge. :?

[Sally]

Date? If you've reached your 60s as I have, just look around you and try to figure out who you would "date". If anyone's ever looked (just for fun, although it's more disgusting than fun) at the Craigslist men looking for women section, there are seemingly thousands of guys in their 60s who are looking for women who will consent to bop them because their wives are no longer willing. Of course, who knows how many men NOT posting anywhere would be interested in "dating" without sex -- Craigslist (or AVEN) is not exactly a scientific/accurate sample.

I just realized, after stumbling on this site a year ago, that I am a romantic asexual. That's a really astounding discovery at the age of 66. It would be wonderful to date someone compatible in age, interests, and asexuality, but world peace and an end to poverty would be wonderful also, and I don't hold out any hope for any of those eventualities.

However, if there is a 60s+ man with a good brain reading this who lives in Seattle or nearby and is an avowed, bona fide asexaul, I'd like to be proven wrong in my assumption that he and his like don't exist.

[/img]

[jay williams]

They exist. I am one (50s+ man anyway). But I do not live in Seattle. There are lots of us. I have no idea why you could not find lots of men your age; after all a 68 year old man is 50 years past his sexual peak. How much "bopping" do you think he can do?

It would be wonderful to date someone compatible in age, interests, and asexuality, but world peace and an end to poverty would be wonderful also, and I don't hold out any hope for any of those eventualities.

However, if there is a 60s+ man with a good brain reading this who lives in Seattle or nearby and is an avowed, bona fide asexaul, I'd like to be proven wrong in my assumption that he and his like don't exist.

[/img]

[Sally]

They exist. I am one (50s+ man anyway). But I do not live in Seattle. There are lots of us. I have no idea why you could not find lots of men your age; after all a 68 year old man is 50 years past his sexual peak. How much "bopping" do you think he can do?

Jay, it's not really a question of what I think. I have as friends a number of men in that 50+ age group; some married, some paired, others single. I don't ask them how much sexual activity they can participate in since that's pretty personal, but according to their girlfriends, their wives, and they themselves, they are certainly still interested in sex. Asexual does not mean being past your sexual peak; it means simply not being interested in sex. That narrows the field considerably. And even if they're asexual, if they don't live where I do, how could I know them?

[jay williams]

Jay, it's not really a question of what I think. I have as friends a number of men in that 50+ age group; some married, some paired, others single. I don't ask them how much sexual activity they can participate in since that's pretty personal, but according to their girlfriends, their wives, and they themselves, they are certainly still interested in sex. Asexual does not mean being past your sexual peak; it means simply not being interested in sex. That narrows the field considerably. And even if they're asexual, if they don't live where I do, how could I know them?

I did not mean to be confrontational on this. To the extent that I sound like I was ranting, I apologize. It just seems that there should be lots of asexuals around, and there are stories here of some who meet and marry. At 50 or 60, I am not convinced that asexuals and sexuals cannot be compatible, especially if they are otherwise compatible. I know that you and others have said that a relationship with an asexual and a sexual won't work. For younger people I am sure that is true, but I suspect that the older a person gets the less important it is.

[Endurance]

I am so happy to be aromantic as well as asexual.

The happiest people I know are older folks (mostly women) who don't spend time and energy looking and wanting.

I can't understand why anyone would want to make the compromises and lose the freedom that a relationship represents.

I would love to meet asexuals around here, but I sure don't want to date them.

Endurance

[Sally]

That's pretty funny, Endurance -- I never thought of that before. It's best to be asexual AND aromantic! I seem to know a bunch of guys my age who are sexual (or at least want to be taken as such, which means the possibility of sex, which means yuck for me) and aromantic -- the worst combination for a romantic asexual. Hmmm. There are more permutations to this business than I thought.

[Endurance]

It's best to be asexual AND aromantic! I seem to know a bunch of guys my age who are sexual (or at least want to be taken as such, which means the possibility of sex, which means yuck for me) and aromantic -- the worst combination for a romantic asexual. Hmmm. There are more permutations to this business than I thought.

Yuck, that DOES sound like a bad combo.

I like older heterosexual female friends, preferably widows or divorced women who aren't interested in getting involved with men.

That way I know they aren't going to be interested in me, and we can talk about something BESIDES men (and associated woes).

Although, I have recently made two good male friends, but they're gay, very involved with each other, and again, we don't have to talk about men (and the woes associated with them.)

What about a pet... or a teddy bear... or volunteering with kids?

They're are so many easier ways to get a hug when you need it, and a teddy will never make you deal with any of the bullshit that a relationship will.

Endurance

PS. Sally, if you are ever in Winnipeg, let me know, I would love to have coffee with you! (and not date)

:-)

[relieved]

:D

[SorryNotSorry]

I haven't dated in 20 years this year. Partly this was because for a few years after my first date (she was a blind date, of course), I felt discouraged because the girl and I had so little in common. All that stuff about how opposites attract didn't hold true for me.

But who knows... I may date again, because when my mother eventually passes away, it's going to be pretty lonely in this house. I'd only date women who I think are keepers.

[Tool1989]

Yeah I am drifting from one girl to another. Kike it is fine on the first date or something but after that....sheesh it's like they skip the "Let's get to know each other part" and they want to make out. It ticks me off a bit. It is like they don't even care who I am. That alone is reason enough to not be with them. I also want somebody who is romantic. That is also hard to find too. I wrote somebody a poem not too long ago and they didn't care for it at all. They are like "Why did you write this" and I said because I am worried about you" and they said "oh....well thanks I guess". It hurts me when she said she prefers things like going to bars and have her surprise her with a drink instead of a homemade present. I just can't find it in my heart to be with somebody like that.

[Tool1989]

Yeah I am drifting from one girl to another. Kike it is fine on the first date or something but after that....sheesh it's like they skip the "Let's get to know each other part" and they want to make out. It ticks me off a bit. It is like they don't even care who I am. That alone is reason enough to not be with them. I also want somebody who is romantic. That is also hard to find too. I wrote somebody a poem not too long ago and they didn't care for it at all. They are like "Why did you write this" and I said because I am worried about you" and they said "oh....well thanks I guess". It hurts me when she said she prefers things like going to bars and have her surprise her with a drink instead of a homemade present. I just can't find it in my heart to be with somebody like that.

[Parth]

I've basically decided that I'm going to go with the flow. Screw trying to seek out someone that might not exist. If I end up alone, it doesn't matter to me. There's nothing wrong with being a complete person on one's own!

edit: after all, I'm part male and part female... I'm already a dual being!

[Guest Heligan]

I havent dated for 9 years.

I dont even go out much. There isnt much to do on this island really. There are a lot of pubs and churches; neither are my thing. The pubs tend to be standing room only on weekend and practically empty the rest of week. Its all a bit unpleasant.

Beaches are nice but deserted.

I'm quite happy single, in many ways. But I think I would prefer living with someone in platonic but intimate way (more than a lodger, less than a sexual partner)

Only downside is that I want kids and its getting late in the day.

[cait]

I've never dated in my life. I have had a few boyfriends, which is different from dating. With boyfriends, I have a friend who is a boy and then we begin to get intimate. But we don't really go on dates in the typical sense, we'll go out (depending on the boy), but I never considered it what I imagine a date must be. If somebody wanted to go on a date with me, I wouldn't know what to think or do. That would be so awkward. Like, what would a coffee be like with someone if it were considered a date? Like, what would be the difference? You would have to spend the time thinking about the person romantically? That seems totally odd to me with a stranger.

[violeteyedsoul]

It just HIT me.

I can Answer this.

No.

No I don't date AT ALL.

And NEVER HAVE.

And Sadly never will.

Though, I'd like to.

I've always wanted someone to care enough about me to take me out on a date.

I've been on a few dates.

Or I'd call them dates.

Though the guys, if asked, would deny that it was a date.

EXTREMELY Sadly.

So since I figure it takes two to say whether or not you've been on a date, EVER.

Then I can confidently say.

No.

NEVER in my life have I EVER been on a date.

Though, I would LIKE to try dating.

But I"d want to be in charge, and paying for everything.

AND I'd want to be taking out a girl I like.

NOT a guy.

Unless the GUY was willing to let ME call the shots and be in charge.

That's all I care about really.

Just being able to be the one to boss the other person around; instead of the way it's been all along.

It's odd. Typing tonight has really been helping me.

Like I'm getting all this stuff out.

[cdraines1959]

god !!!!!!!!!!! the story of my life

[violeteyedsoul]

god !!!!!!!!!!! the story of my life

who?

huh?

I'm lost!

sorry!

:oops: :oops: :oops:

[violeteyedsoul]

That's pretty funny, Endurance -- I never thought of that before. It's best to be asexual AND aromantic! I seem to know a bunch of guys my age who are sexual (or at least want to be taken as such, which means the possibility of sex, which means yuck for me) and aromantic -- the worst combination for a romantic asexual. Hmmm. There are more permutations to this business than I thought.

I thought that's all the world was made out of.

In the line of guys at least.

I don't know about Lesbians. Though, I get the same feeling.

*SHUDDER!*

Sadly, cause of all the stories I'd read and whatnot, I actually thought that there were only romantic sexuals out there. Esp. guys.

BOY was I woke up! / Awakened! <-- ? ( not good with grammar please excuse lol.)

[violeteyedsoul]

I've never really 'dated. I signed up for okcupid mostly though to meet others, haven't really done so yet. I tried dating one guy on there, he was not bad... but he was very very sexual, and kind of immature... though he was also 3 years younger than I which may have had something to do about it.

I dislike bars, drunken parties, and enjoy quiet alone time, hikes and more mature parties like hours de'orvres and wine. So this makes it hard to meet people my age (i'm 27).

I guess I just keep hoping that someone will just pop into my life... my folks met through work, so why not? I'm in no hurry really, if it happens, it happens.. until then it's nice being single hoping to meet Mr. Right.

I'm just like you, but a bit more of a homebody. I wouldn't like going to parties unless I knew the people there.

Would you ever consider a Miss. Right?

:-D

[newgirl]

What is a party,bar,club,boyfriend or dating? :lol: :cry:

[Kelly]

No, I don't date. I suspect that not dating is common among asexuals.

[jay williams]

I don't date, and have not done so in a long time. But I have not given up. I would love to "date" an asexual woman.

[cdraines1959]

i have to say, i think i am the only asexual man in the south. date? lmao

[rosalie]

I don't date either (first and last time I dated was 9 years ago, for two nights out...) I think I would like it if I would find an asexual man that I feel comfortable with but I kinda gave up the idea that this could happen and I am fine on my own.

[CLF]

deleted

[Asterion Orestes]

I can say I dated a little in my younger (college, mostly) years--gals who were already known to me & my family. In retrospect, while I understood & accepted my orientation, I could've made those years more interesting.

Skipping over the long, often-problematic & defunct relationship that came in between, I'll admit to having pursued the possibility of other developments in recent years. Can't say I'm exactly isolated now, living (almost like the proverbial Net dork) in the current version of my original household, but I've been interested in something else since my teens--which maybe makes me hetero-romantic. Well, thanks to one of those online services, I've been in a curious email-only relationship for about a year & a half. I'm not sure where it'll eventually go, but it seems to be good for the other party, anyway. :|

Last year a Net search discovered my most intriguing high-school classmate, who'd dropped off the radar nearly three decades before. What I can piece together about her own status suggests a less-usual lifestyle but nothing permanently barring compatibility. I did finally send her a greeting last month on the occasion of her 50th birthday.

But actual dating? Not in this century--yet.

[Nick2]

I have not dated in over 30 years. It was always an awkward experience. I used religious reasons for not going further into the relationship but I know now that was just an easy excuse not to get to close to someone.