Demisexual/Aegosexual/Cupiosexual/Bellussexual mix? Is this a thing?

[GaiaGoddess]

For years I thought I was asexual, because I never wanted to have sex. But after reading more about it on here, I am realizing that I'm in some grey area between these four.

 

Why the Demi label fits me: I can't do casual sex, or sex with someone I haven't been dating less than a few months. My biggest fantasy is to have a best friend for years and then start a relationship with them. In my fantasy, it includes sex. 

 

Why the Aego label fits me: Even when I am with a partner, I dont want to have sex. I do it out of obligation and slight coersion (not rape but subtle coersion like "let me try something" while he gets under my clothes). I never initiate sex and when it's happening I am just going through the motions secretly wishing it was over.

 

Why the Bellus label fits me: I love thinking about sex but never wanna do it. Enough said. This one probably fits me the most but still with aspects of the others.

 

Why the Cupio label fits me: I have sexual desire but no sexual attraction to 99% of guys that I meet. This makes me think I just haven't met the right guy to awaken my sexuality, because boy oh boy do I have intense sexual desire for men I find attractive (who are feminine/androngynous looking guys).

 

So while I don't ever want to have sex, I still fantasize about it a lot. Almost all of my fantasies involve me doing sexual stuff with someone I have a crush on or a famous person (actor or musician). Almost all of them involve us being best friends for a long time and then realizing we're in love with each other.

 

I love reading erotica and even have written a bunch of it myself, always imagining me as the female in the story.

 

I'm not sure if the reason why I don't like sex matters or not, but here goes; It feels foreign to me, like I'm putting on an act. (I'm also Autistic so I'm used to pretending I'm someone I'm not to hide my true self). Intercourse is also painful for me (I've been checked, there's nothing wrong), just the bigger the thing being inserted is, the more it hurts. I also never wanted to get pregnant, however even when I was on birth control and used condoms, it still felt too risky for me. My body parts are too sensitive for all that constant friction. I don't mind getting oral sex sometimes but honestly I could do a better job myself, lol they can't do it the way I explain how I like it. I don't like giving oral sex but I do it out of obligation. I also hate having to shave and keep it tidy down there, so it isn't usually worth the effort.

 

What label does this sound like? Probably a mix of these four or something different altogether? Or maybe I am completely normal identity-wise but i just have too many problems with sex itself? 

[illumi]

myrsexual is definitely a label you should read about

[GaiaGoddess]

22 hours ago, sevan said:

myrsexual is definitely a label you should read about

Ahh, I hadn't heard of that one! thanks!

[nanogretchen4]

I am a little confused because it seems like you are saying that you never actually want to have sex in real life, but then you also say that you have sexual desire. Is it possible that you just mean that you get aroused, or that you enjoy the fantasies but have no desire to act on them in reality? 

 

Since you never describe actually wanting sex with another person in real life, that sounds like regular asexuality. If you were demisexual, then you would sometimes actually want to have sex with someone you had a string emotional bond with. Being willing to go through the motions to maintain a relationship has nothing to do with your orientation. If you were cupiosexual you would actually want to have sex with real people in real life. Aego and/or bellus? Sure, why not? These microlabels just mean that despite having an asexual orientation and not wanting to have partnered sex in real life, you enjoy sexual fantasies or some form of sexual content.