SabeSparklexoxo Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 The other day my parents thought I couldn't date. I'm ace but I'm scared I won't find anyone. Is this just a fear? Please tell me I'm wrong and there is hope. Thanks. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 You can, and it's hard, and being asexual makes it harder, but of course there is still hope. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Picklethewickle Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 Your parent's views sound like the same old pressure asexuals come across again and again: "Love = Sex, and Sex = Love. You can't have one without the other." By saying you can't date, they are taking choices away from you, and only because you aren't doing things according to the way they want to do things. Asexuals get way too much backlash for dating, with people insisting you're obligated to have sex, or that you're cruelly withholding sex, all while those same people completely ignore the fact that sex is not the whole of a relationship or even the basis of strong relationships. Asexuals do date, and they do form successful and happy relationships. It does mean having to come out to all your partners, and it does mean communicating needs and boundaries. Still, communication is an important part of any relationship. Any partner who insists that sex is an obligation in return for being graced with their presence isn't a good person to date anyway, regardless of individual sexuality. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SabeSparklexoxo Posted November 30, 2022 Author Share Posted November 30, 2022 2 minutes ago, Picklethewickle said: Your parent's views sound like the same old pressure asexuals come across again and again: "Love = Sex, and Sex = Love. You can't have one without the other." By saying you can't date, they are taking choices away from you, and only because you aren't doing things according to the way they want to do things. Asexuals get way too much backlash for dating, with people insisting you're obligated to have sex, or that you're cruelly withholding sex, all while those same people completely ignore the fact that sex is not the whole of a relationship or even the basis of strong relationships. Asexuals do date, and they do form successful and happy relationships. It does mean having to come out to all your partners, and it does mean communicating needs and boundaries. Still, communication is an important part of any relationship. Any partner who insists that sex is an obligation in return for being graced with their presence isn't a good person to date anyway, regardless of individual sexuality. Don't get me wrong, my mum is definitely trying to be more accepting. She didn't say that it was my dad. But it hurts... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Picklethewickle Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 I'm sorry your dad hurt your feelings. Have a hug, and remember you can still have romance and relationships whatever your dad thinks. Other people will understand you, even if he doesn't. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 1 hour ago, Picklethewickle said: Asexuals get way too much backlash for dating, with people insisting you're obligated to have sex, or that you're cruelly withholding sex, all while those same people completely ignore the fact that sex is not the whole of a relationship or even the basis of strong relationships. Those people have a name, you know. Spoiler Sex weirdos. 😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 Idk, I'm not sure it's actually any easier for sexuals to find people they're compatible with because there's a lot more to compatibility than sexual orientation. Look at how many couples are miserable and the divorce rate. Maybe it's easier in the sense they're not immediately rejected for not being sexually compatible, but if anything it's actually good that you have something to filter people out so you're more likely to actually develop a deeper connection. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheMostColorfullBlobs Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 4 hours ago, SabeSparklexoxo said: The other day my parents thought I couldn't date. I'm ace but I'm scared I won't find anyone. Is this just a fear? Please tell me I'm wrong and there is hope. Thanks. I can tell you for sure there’s hope, being ace might make it a bit harder, but it’s definitely not impossible Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zoeo Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 4 hours ago, Picklethewickle said: Any partner who insists that sex is an obligation in return for being graced with their presence isn't a good person to date anyway, regardless of individual sexuality. 2 hours ago, Nightbreed said: you have something to filter people out so you're more likely to actually develop a deeper connection. I think these are wonderful ways to think about this. You can absolutely date if that’s what you want. And if you need some encouragement you can find some relationship success stories here on aven. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Picklethewickle Posted December 1, 2022 Share Posted December 1, 2022 23 hours ago, Nightbreed said: Those people have a name, you know. Hide contents Sex weirdos. 😂 Gah! I saw this post, and my first response was "I've offended someone again, haven't I?" and then I read the hidden contents. Way to make me laugh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 @Picklethewickle Lol, sorry for the momentary scare but I'm glad you found that funny 😆 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.