Alliskye Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 I am a female in my late 20's, I have been married 5 years and I have a planned child under 1y. I've always seem to run into the "not wanting sex as much" issue with my husband since we've been married. We worked on my depression and I've been on steady medication for a few years now. It helps with both depression and anxiety. Not that long ago my husband spoke to me about possibly being asexual. Things began really clicking into place the more I read up on it. I identify as asexual but now I'm running into the issue of wanting sex even less than before. I want to still have a healthy adult relationship with my husband without relying on weed or alcohol, but I find myself almost repulsed by sex without them and a 3rd partner is not an option. Does anyone have any advice? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FJO8 Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 A healthy adult relationship does not necessarily have to include sexual activity. Especially since your husband was the one to bring the topic of asexuality up, you should talk to him about it. I think that after 5 years of living together there should be enough trust between you to be able to talk about sexuality with honesty and to respect one another. Keep in mind that consent goes both ways: You want to keep yourself safe and have fun, and if he wants something that you cannot provide, he might have to look into other ways to fullfill his needs. Please don't force each other into situations where you are uncomfortable, talk about it as much and as open as possible, even if you are ashamed of the topic (I know that can be a threshhold to overcome). Wishing you all the best 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alliskye Posted November 27, 2022 Author Share Posted November 27, 2022 He says he's not interested in having sex with anyone else and he only wants sex with me. We agreed on sex once a week but he still seems to get frustrated at that. We're working on him giving loving touches without sex in mind since that makes me shut down quickly. I don't know what to do. I'm not giving up on our relationship but I really don't know where to start mending things. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 If I understand correctly you enjoyed sex in the past but have less interest now? Some antidepressants strongly reduce sex drive in some people. If you enjoyed sex in the past, then this is worth looking into very seriously. Both talk to your doctor and do some online reading (from legit sources). If OTOH you never enjoyed sex much and are just realizing it now, that is a different situation and you may be asexual. That needs to be discussed with your husband - sexual compatibility is essential for a happy relationship. You need to find a way you can BOTH be happy, or you are setting yourself up for decades of misery . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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