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Am I tomboy or nonbinary.


Katie Magliaro926

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Katie Magliaro926

I like to dress like a tomboy and people mistake me as a guy but I don’t care. But my dad hates when people think I’m a guy. Would I just be a tomboy or can I be nonbinary and use They/them pronouns with she and her?

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Luftschlosseule

Hello and welcome to the forum!
Whatever pronouns you use is up to you. Regarding what you identify, only you yourself can say, and I'd recommend giving yourself time to figure things out. This might not be easy, so it's important to not rush yourself. There is no deadline for this.


Good luck!

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Blizzard Avis

Up to you to decide on your pronouns! This goes regardless of whether you are nonbinary or not.

 

Stuff I'd recommend you ask yourself in order to figure out if you are nonbinary are: do you feel uncomfortable or disconnected from being perceived as a girl? How do you feel about being perceived as a boy? Do you prefer when people don't know your gender or get confused by it? How do you feel about different gendered terms being applied to you? How do you feel about different pronouns being used for you? Does any of your typically feminine body parts make you uncomfortable and/or you wish they were different (like having chest, wide hips, feminine voice, soft face etc.)? If you could make yourself into a fictional character, what gender would you give to yourself?

 

None of these is a definitive answer about whether you are nonbinary or not, but they could help you sort out your feelings about gender.

 

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up to you. gender is complicated. explore different labels and dive deep into the feelings you get when someone mistakes you for a guy. 

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Katie Magliaro926
7 hours ago, Luftschlosseule said:

Hello and welcome to the forum!
Whatever pronouns you use is up to you. Regarding what you identify, only you yourself can say, and I'd recommend giving yourself time to figure things out. This might not be easy, so it's important to not rush yourself. There is no deadline for this.


Good luck!

Thanks. I’ve been a tomboy since 2014 and I didn’t really dress like one until I was in about 9th grade and that was in 2015. 

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Lysandre, the Star-Crossed

You are who you are, finding a label is just a temporary solution for people who don't know you well enough yet. Eventually you just become...you. I encourage you to use whatever labels, pronouns, and gendered or genderless language you find comfortable 

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Katie Magliaro926
20 hours ago, 333saint said:

up to you. gender is complicated. explore different labels and dive deep into the feelings you get when someone mistakes you for a guy. 

With me idk if they think I’m a guy. 

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3 hours ago, Katie Magliaro926 said:

With me idk if they think I’m a guy. 

oh ok gotcha. well, anyways, explore those feelings. what if they DO think youre a guy? what if not? do you feel excited or do you feel bad? or, are you neutral towards it?

 

take any idea of gender out of your mind. we all these expectations of what a gender looks like. as in, girls are feminine, pretty, caring, etc. guys are masculine, strong, handsome, etc. nonbinary people are genderless, dont like gendered language, are androgynous, etc. 

 

i mean it. do that and it'll help. i know she/theys who prefer masculine terms. i know he/theys or he/hims who call themselves a girl and a boy. i know a butch lesbian who is a woman but uses he/she pronouns. I MYSELF am a girl (mostly) but also use he/him sometimes. etc etc etc. if you take stereotypes out of the equation you may find something more about yourself through that and then may be able to land on a label. the possibilities are endless. 

 

that's my advice, anyways. 

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