Hi I'm New Nov 6

[DavidB333]

Newbie here......just realized that my wife is probably asexual.......our love is strong enough and deep so
I can live with it.....we've been married only a few years......I'm age 71 so my sex drive is not as strong......but the reality check of this being a strong possibility was
like a light going on.....now I can let go of the resentment or think that reasons are excuses....and that its not about me...
she is very loving and affectionate.....and when sex happens it is very good.....I found this group by searching Google for answers
Glad to be here
David

[LeChat]

@DavidB333 Hello. Welcome! 

 

(Below is an official, green, mod message.)

 

I'm just letting you know I've moved your thread from the Welcome Lounge to the "For Sexual Partners, Friends, and Allies" forum.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

[Ceebs]

Since you say that the sex is very good when it happens, and assuming your wife is at least roughly in the same age range as you, is it possible that she's simply postmenopausal and her libido has declined? Perhaps she also mainly experiences responsive desire, and so even when she is up for sex, she really only gets in the mood after things... get going a little. I'm not saying there's no chance that she's asexual, but is there something in particular that makes you think that's the case instead of just ageing/menopause and an innate tendency towards responsive rather than spontaneous desire? Those things are statistically more likely than asexuality. Do you know anything about her interest in sex when she was younger?

[MrDane]

I am curious. Did she use to be sexual? I know that menopause (and other aging matters) can sort of turn the sexuality down. …and this is the fear of sexual development that many couples have to face. 
 

1.embrace the affection

2. If she is okay with having/giving some sex, then find a rythm or routine that works.