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Im a unusual asexual/sexual case, Can anyone relate/Advise?


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(sorry for cross posting but I think I put my rant in the wrong catagory but I think it belongs here)

Hi I just watched the Montel show that had this websight and the people that run it on YouTube, so I thought Id come in and ask about my situation etc - I hope this does not get me kicked out of this site.

I am a 25 yearold male who is phsyically/sexually attracted to other guys, however, I only become interested and involved in sex when it is outside a "normal" relationship setting (im not into anything bizarr or anything) but my ideal type of relationship I would like to have with somone is one that either envolves no or very little sex or just "simple/basic" sex but mabey not on a regular basis - I apologise for sounding so confusing but that is my situation, its like my interest in sex in a relationship goes away, but only grasps my attention when its outside a normal relationship setting(please note i dont get bored of the person at all or anything like that)?

Is there anyone out there that has felt this way, OR is there anyone out there that can give me advise? I know it prob sounds like I have relationship issues etc I feel I dont, I just want to know where I fit in!.

Thanks

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Don't worry - you certainly won't be kicked out. :D We are all-accepting here, whatever your sexuality! Have some :cake:. This forum is here for questions like this, so don't fret. Feel free to post and comment all round the site, your opinions will be valued.

I don't think you're strange - all of sexuality is a sliding scale, and everyone's on there somewhere. You don't sound asexual as of itself, but you sound as if you might be well-matched with one in a long-term relationship - I for one would be fine in a relationship with occasional sex. Of course, it is up to you to give yourself your label (or lack thereof) and I don't know your situation - I might have perceived wrong.

I think the Montel show, although it wasn't perfect, has at least raised awareness to different levels of attraction and sexual attraction. People (generally) have got their heads round the idea of people being attracted to different genders, and are now just begining to consider different strengths of attraction and the amount of sex people feel inclined to have.

I don't know if this has helped at all, but good luck!

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Bootstrap Bill

You know, I think there was an edition of Savage Love that addressed this problem, where people feel sexually attracted to their partners -until- they get into a serious relationship with them. I don't remember what he said, but maybe you could try and find that.

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You know, I think there was an edition of Savage Love that addressed this problem, where people feel sexually attracted to their partners -until- they get into a serious relationship with them.

That makes sense. Some people like the challenge of the sexual conquest. When a relationship comes up, there is no longer that same conquest. It doesn't change the fact that the relationship is very special and intimate, but the sexual aspects just aren't as exciting. Theres nothing wrong with that as long as 1, you find a partner that doesn't think a relationship requires constance levels of sex, and 2, you don't feel the need to satisfied the desire for sexual conquests outside of the relationship unless its openly discussed with the partner first.

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