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My non-binary niece


GuncleChuck

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My 14 year old niece is non-binary, and I want to call her  "Nibbling", but what happens when my brother and sister in law (Her father and mother) hear me calling her Nibbling? They don't accept her being non-binary, and think it's a "phase" she's going through.  I also want to get a t-shirt for her with "Nibbling" on it and one for me that says "Guncle".

I love my Brother and Sister-in-law so much and don't want to betray them in any way, but I love my Nibbling too, and want her to be happy.

Please help 🙏

 

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StarryNightAllAlone

👋 Welcome to Aven! 

 

I unfortunately don't have any advice to offer, but I wanted to say how sweet it is that you're so close and supportive of your niece. People like you are a godsend.

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I'd get her smaller less obvious tokens. Creating a situation where she has to constantly reout herself (I'm assuming she uses these pronouns because you used them) is just stressful.

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I concur with @RileyA here. Something like a badge (pin) of the Enby flag that they can wear when away from their parents might be an idea 

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5 hours ago, GuncleChuck said:

and I want to call her  "Nibbling"

You're saying they ID as non-binary but you're using feminine pronouns, and also you're saying YOU want to call them 'nibbling' but is that what they want to be called? :o 

 

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1 hour ago, Major West said:

You're saying they ID as non-binary but you're using feminine pronouns, and also you're saying YOU want to call them 'nibbling' but is that what they want to be called? :o 

 

I'm just learning about this. I'm a gay male that's trying to be a great Uncle and I know she/they🤔 doesn't like being referred to as female.

Sorry, I'm not wanting to piss anyone off, but thanks for your feedback. 

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I'm going through a similar situation with several members of my family right now. One prefers I use their pronouns in front of everyone, while another wants me to keep it on the down low because they're not ready to deal with the conflict it could cause with other family members yet. Different situations call for different approaches. I would recommend talking to your niece about it first. Since she is still living with her parents (presumably), if they aren't very supportive of her identity, then anything that draws attention to it could mean more conflict and difficult conversations for her. If she's not ready to deal with that yet, you can still support her by telling her she can talk to you about it and that you'll be in her corner if/when the time comes.

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