Do you like french kisses?

[< retired >]

Weird....it seems like I'm one of the only asexuals here to enjoy it....maybe it's because I'm french?

It would be interesting to know the etymology of the term 'French kiss'. Did open-mouth kissing originate in France? The French are certainly wild about kissing (both the 'polite' form as well as others...)

BTW, my French girlfriend had the cutest French accent whenever she spoke English. Unfortunately, I didn't get to hear it much because we spoke French most of the time (more accurately, she spoke French while I mangled her beautiful language... :lol: )

[Sally]

Having nothing else I wanted to do at the moment, I googled "french kiss" and a number of sites told me that it stems from the common misperception/prejudice that the French are more promiscuous and lascivious than other cultures, and thus only the French would think of things like sticking your tongue in someone else's mouth.

Syphillis, of course, has been blamed on many different countries/cultures for hundreds of years. The English called it the French disease, the French called it the English disease, others called it the Spanish disease, etc. The English and the French, having a longstanding difficult relationship including many wars and handing back and forth of territory, tended to blame all diseases and whatever else they didn't like on each other. Mostly the English blaming the French, though. "French letter" for condom; "French novels" for porn.

[< retired >]

I found this: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=French

... French kiss (1923) ... stem from the Anglo-Saxon equation of Gallic culture and sexual sophistication...

This is putting a positive spin on things, perhaps. Thanks for looking in to this, Sally!

[Gatto]

.

[starcat]

Very interesting on the french kissing definition.

I did before..but I don't anymore. Even regular kissing has me wiping my mouth afterwards. I like the small pecks, but can do without someone else's saliva on (or in) my body.

Why is it some feel the compelling desire to invade others orifices?

[Ewok]

The whole idea of french kissing makes me go BLEH! Hate it, hate it, I like pecks, and nothing more.

[chatha]

When in high school/college, I dated girls and the thought of having to "french" all the time made me nauseous. Maybe it was just kissing girls that made me nauseous. Anyway, three girls/women said that I kiss excellently... Then, later, I dated one guy one time and "french" kissed with him. I liked. Probably because this was with a guy. (Had to tell him No three times before he understood "No sex will be had here tonight... or any other night." So I remain a virgin. Yay me! BUT... having given thought to the very real possibility of catching something nasty from someone, and realizing that I'm getting someone else's spit in my mouth... UG!!!!!! GROSS!!!!! NASTY (as in all full of naste)!!!! NO!!! I do not like "french" kissing! {{{Shudders}}}

And kissing just sounds sickening. I can't watch it on TV. I have to change channels because it makes my stomach churn to hear kissing noises. Sick.

[-Minus-]

First time someone "french kised" me, I was completly digusted and I almost started gagging, but found an excuse to stop instead, don't think my boyfriend would have liked it if I had started to gag..

Many years later it was ok, one time, but when the guy wanted to do it again I thought that one time is ok, but why do I have to do it again?

So I guess it's okay for a couple of seconds, once a year or so.. Kissing without tongue and hugs are my favorites.

[Raker]

How could I be asexual and like french kissing? I don't what this question is about - it sounds like a test or something.

I really don't like being touched at all, so the thought of french kissing is revolting to me.

[PetraNotMyRealName]

How could I be asexual and like french kissing? I don't what this question is about - it sounds like a test or something.

I really don't like being touched at all, so the thought of french kissing is revolting to me.

Hi Raker, it's not a test, it's a question. Being asexual is not a pigeonhole. You can't fit any two of us in the same hole because we all come in different shapes as far as our "asexualness goes". I'm one of the few asexuals here who were formerly quite sexual. I've gone from one end of the sexual spectrum to the other. But there are a thousand points in between so somewhere along the spectrum there are asexuals who still like kissing and others who completely abhore even the thought of kissing. And then there are asexuals who like a "peck" while others don't mind anything from a "peck" to a full out "french kiss". The spectrum of asexuality here is quite broad so you have to keep an open mind about it.

I don't like loud kissing noises, slobber or any of that jazz but give me a GOOD french kisser any day...I just don't want to have sex with him.

[PetraNotMyRealName]

Thanks! I always wondered why they called them French fries.

Hmmm...me too... maybe it's because like "French cut Beans" they are potatoes cut into long, lengthwise strips. But what makes French Toast, French? Unless you also cut it into long thin strips, it doesn't fit my description of "French cut" so can't explain that one...anyone?

[Tanwen]

And kissing just sounds sickening. I can't watch it on TV. I have to change channels because it makes my stomach churn to hear kissing noises. Sick.

The 'mouth hoovering' thing that goes on is nauseating, I agree. Why do people feel that it's OK to inflict their habits on everyone? Mind you, I feel the same about men with beer bellies who think they have the right to inflict their bare flesh on everyone in the summer..by insisting on wearing shorts and vests...or worse still topless

Tan

*Where is the puking smiley whe you need it????*

[catrinac]

I used to but I don't anymore. I couldn't care less if I never kissed anyone for the rest of my life. The problem with kissing is that it really is foreplay. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves. I never feel anything when I kiss someone, even though I'm a pretty good kisser. It leads to one thing and another and since my body never ever responds to foreplay I find it to be a complete waste of time. The last time I kissed anyone it did lead to sex. I knew 10 minutes in to it that I wanted to bolt and get away from him except it seemed so rude. So I went through with it even though I didn't want to. Stupid asshole picked me up in the middle of the day too, and expressed a little guilt about doing so, but not nearly enough to not make me feel like a useless, ugly piece of trash. Kissing? A WASTE OF TIME.

[Placebo]

I am terrible at it, because if much tongue is present I push him away reflexively, but in small doses I can handle it, and sort of enjoy it. Interestingly, even though I don't much like (or dislike) the act itself, it's one of the few things that as long as I'm simultaneously hugging the other person will actually make me a little aroused--like I can feel it in my head, not just a physiological response.

[Satori]

Soft kisses I love, French kisses? ewe! Keep your bodily fluids to yourself!

[bbrodriguez]

I HATE french kisses, they gross me out completely- thankfully my boyfriend feels the same way. We like kissing each other, but without open mouth and tongue. EWWW! Thank goodness he's asexual too. :)

[Zeki_Nelo]

Eughhhhh....

I had the misfortune of french-kissing someone once on a dare (I was just a kid)

It was pretty gross. Yet extremely funny. I burst out laughing because it was so weird to feel someone else's tongue inside their mouth.

...I don't think I'll be doing that ever again.

[Zerick]

Yes and No.

Most of the time it just disgusts me mainly because most people don't take care of their teeth well enough.

but there have been a few occasions when it was really nice.

Like most things it depends on the other person.

Since I rarely kiss anyone I don't really think about it

[Rikusephirosu]

x.x Ugh, I might of liked it once, but when staying honestly true to myself, I reallllly do recall the nervous uncomfortable shiver I kinda had. It was as if my body was saying "BACK BEAST BACK! UNHAND MY TONGUE! D:". It felt as if some slimy tentacle was trying to dance with my tongue x.x; and it really felt gross.

[zeldahime]

Oh, no, I don't like French kisses at all. Eww, disgusting.

But... I did not know another kind of kissing between intimate couples existed. It doesn't have a different name than kisses shared among friends in my language (none related with the French, heh), and I thought no other kind of kiss would do in any romantic relationship, so I would force myself to endure it... ^^;; Thankfully, I had not the gag reflex some people seem to have, unless the other's breath/taste was really really disgusting.

[holylight007]

Oh yeah, i love french kisses. Its the only way I can show intimacy.

[starcat]

But if it's a way to show intimacy, wouldn't it be sexually frustrating on the other person? Unless they are asexual too, isn't french kissing kind of the final step in moving towards arousal and sexual touching?

just some thoughts....

[Guest punkybluester]

I luv french kissing, kissing is sooo romantic.

[Guest punkybluester]

all I do is kiss and hold hands, and hold one another in each other's arms, that is all. ;)

[theodosia]

I registered just so I could add my 2 cents to this thread! I could not have stumbled upon it at a more appropriate moment.

I tried to conform to sexual norms my entire life until eight years ago when I realized that sexual contact had been consistently disappointing and a waste of my energy. At best, it was slightly titillating, but usually it was downright tedious or repulsive. Anyway, due to some significant changes in my life, I thought that perhaps I should confirm whether or not this was still the case by kissing someone - with tongue.

Oh, why did I second-guess my decision!? My skin crawls thinking about it. Absolutely disgusting! Granted, I do not know the person all that well, but I definitely find him attractive. And, knowing a person well has not ensured that I enjoy any form of sexualized intimacy with that person in the past.

It's so liberating to be able to say this and know that I won't be judged as deficient, frigid, or aberrant - all things I have thought about myself. Hopefully, thanks to the support herein, I won't subject myself to any more meaningless tests.

[< retired >]

Oh, why did I second-guess my decision!? My skin crawls thinking about it. Absolutely disgusting!

It's so liberating to be able to say this and know that I won't be judged as deficient, frigid, or aberrant...

I was wondering the extent to which the oral bacterial populations differ between a man and a women selected at random from the population. I was also wondering the extent to which dermal bacterial populations differ. If typical dermal populations differ more than typical oral populations, then something seemingly as chaste as holding hands could actually be considered more dangerous ("disgusting") than kissing. I'm always delighted when conventional wisdom is trumped by science.

Of course, these idle thoughts have nothing to do with whether your attitudes should be judged negatively. There is really no need for judgement at all...

[Lucinda]

Well, I must admit, after reading around the community, I fear that we may be doing it all wrong. After all, with all the talk about slobber and food particles and grossness, I wonder where we have erred?? Perhaps we should eat tuna with peanut butter on crackers right before we go at it?? But how do we create a copious amount of slobber?? I feel so clueless.

Slobber-challenged me,

Lucinda

[theodosia]

I was wondering the extent to which the oral bacterial populations differ between a man and a women selected at random from the population. I was also wondering the extent to which dermal bacterial populations differ. If typical dermal populations differ more than typical oral populations, then something seemingly as chaste as holding hands could actually be considered more dangerous ("disgusting") than kissing. I'm always delighted when conventional wisdom is trumped by science.

You should start another thread investigating asexual attitudes toward bacterial transmission and experiences of bacterial pathogenesis. It's not scientific, but perhaps it would inform a few hypotheses for further study. Anyone convinced that there is a biologically determined cause of asexuality could investigate whether or not our immune systems are more finely attuned to immunological threat and/or weakness in others. Eugenics, here we come. :twisted:

[Sally]

Anyone else afflicted with emetophobia? In another thread people were talking about medical conditions being allied with being A. Though I'd ask.

Lifelong A (now I know), also lifelone E (never had a term for it before either)

[Solodancer1]

It's disgusting, sickening, revolting, nauseating and rude, rude, rude! Ewwww. Bkeachhh. Why is it even in existence? Why would someone wnt to do something so horrid to someone they like?