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I fell in love, what should I do??


IWantToRun

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Hi everyone!

I think I fell in love. I am not sure because I have no experience at all. I am ace and somewhere on the aromantic spectre. We are friends, but we don't have a lot of contact because he moved to another town. We were flatmates for a few months and he was really kind and understanding regarding my fears and shyness and my social unability (is this a correct word?). And we had fun together. My problem is I can not recognize flirting and which interest people have. I do not have many friends, I don't know how a friendship works. So I am wondering if he is into me or not because he said and texted me some really cute stuff and he helped me a lot. I thought he was just nice but at the same time I would never assume that someone is romantically interested in me.

 

Anyways, I am afraid that I maybe did't get, that he is into me. That's why I sent him quite randomly some kind of coming out message explainig my asexuality and everything. And now I am scared of his reaction. Do you think it was a weird thing to do? I am so nervous. And what should I do next? Should I talk about my feelings?

 

Sorry to bother you mith my stupid questions!!! But I have no idea and nobody to ask. Any advice is very welcome. Thank you so much in advance! : )

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Hi and welcome @IWantToRun

 

If you just came out to him i would figure he'd need time to digest that. Maybe see what you both talk about around that. If he's sexual then you might not be compatible in the first place, depending on things.

What made you think you fell in love?

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Feds the Freds

Hm, the way you tell how the situation unfolded, he will probably think, you thought that he flirted with you and with saying that you are asexual, you basically tell him, you're not interested.

 

That's at least I think I would understand it if I weren't asexual. But as I'm asexual, I'd say, "dope, me too lol"

 

So, I guess, it depends on how he identifies. But I think, using labels aren't helpful themselfs to explain how you feel. I think an additional definition of yourself and what you mean with identifying that way would probably be useful. Also a reason on why you tell it to him would probably help him understand the situation better :)

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4 hours ago, IWantToRun said:

Hi everyone!

I think I fell in love. I am not sure because I have no experience at all. I am ace and somewhere on the aromantic spectre. We are friends, but we don't have a lot of contact because he moved to another town. We were flatmates for a few months and he was really kind and understanding regarding my fears and shyness and my social unability (is this a correct word?). And we had fun together. My problem is I can not recognize flirting and which interest people have. I do not have many friends, I don't know how a friendship works. So I am wondering if he is into me or not because he said and texted me some really cute stuff and he helped me a lot. I thought he was just nice but at the same time I would never assume that someone is romantically interested in me.

 

Anyways, I am afraid that I maybe did't get, that he is into me. That's why I sent him quite randomly some kind of coming out message explainig my asexuality and everything. And now I am scared of his reaction. Do you think it was a weird thing to do? I am so nervous. And what should I do next? Should I talk about my feelings?

 

Sorry to bother you mith my stupid questions!!! But I have no idea and nobody to ask. Any advice is very welcome. Thank you so much in advance! : )

Are you both close enough that you can send him a screenshot of this thread ? 

 

What do you want from him by sending him the message that you're ace? He may or may not understand why you sent him that message but really depends on how you guys communicate. 

 

Would he be up for a friend date? You guys can chat things out then to see if both of you want to move the relationship from a platonic place to a romantic place ? 

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  • 3 months later...

Hey, I am back. I know, it is extremely late for this, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for your lovely answers @Sarah-Sylvia @Feds the Freds @Eutierria!!!!! You really helped me.  

I am sorry for not answering, I am really shy and scared and I just panicked and could not reply. I am strange, I know.

Anyways, I really appreciate your advice! Thank you.

 

Btw his reaction to my coming out was incredibly great, I was so happy.   

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42 minutes ago, IWantToRun said:

Hey, I am back. I know, it is extremely late for this, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for your lovely answers @Sarah-Sylvia @Feds the Freds @Eutierria!!!!! You really helped me.  

I am sorry for not answering, I am really shy and scared and I just panicked and could not reply. I am strange, I know.

Anyways, I really appreciate your advice! Thank you.

 

Btw his reaction to my coming out was incredibly great, I was so happy.   

Sounds like it turned out ok :). glad for you

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