cato Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 So I've been poking around for therapists with experience in asexuality, and it seems like virtually all of the therapists who profess expertise in asexuality also cover kink, BDSM, open relationships/polyamory, and transgender issues. I suspect this is because they're interested in sexuality as a whole, and asexuality is lumped under "not straight", not because the overlap between asexuality and the other things under the typical sex therapist umbrella is large. (Anecdotally, there seems to be a pretty decently sized overlap between gender noncomformity and asexuality, though.) But--hey--why not a poll to confirm--I could be wrong... (To be clear, I'm listing transgender/non-gender conforming here just because I'm seeing all of the things listed here repeatedly listed alongside asexuality, not that I think it's in any way equivalent to being into kink or whatever. I consider them pretty separate.) Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 I'd assume it's because they're interested in sexuality and gender issues that are outside the vanilla heteronormative/cisnormative realm of things. I'm interested in BDSM and kink (not polyamory though), but I'm bisexual and not asexual, so won't vote in your poll. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 And where's an option for those who are none of these? I consider myself gender non-conforming, but not trans, so I'm not sure whether I should tick that one. I'm not sure about polyamory, given my no relationship experience - at most I can say that I favour a non-traditional approach to relationships, one which rejects a stiff distinction between "romantic" and "non-romantic", and which also places feelings such as impersonal love (for example love for a phenomenon) or cosmic love as rightful ways of experiencing love. As for the other points - no way. I could even say that I'm pretty much BDSM-repulsed and I feel quite concerned when BDSM is actively promoted, which can result in shaming those who have no intention of ever trying it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 I find it extremely weird to put transgender there with the other things. I don't like bdsm at all. but I find some sexual things kinky and It might be because of it being kinky i find it interesting. don't see how it would tie to being ace-spec tho. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 3 minutes ago, everywhere and nowhere said: I feel quite concerned when BDSM is actively promoted How often do you encounter people promoting BDSM? Like in general, to those not already into it? I know some porn can be questionable, but lots of porn is questionable for many reasons even when it's vanilla porn. So where do you see BDSM being 'actively promoted'? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 Just now, Ceebs said: How often do you encounter people promoting BDSM? Like in general, to those not already into it? I know some porn can be questionable, but lots of porn is questionable for many reasons even when it's vanilla porn. So where do you see BDSM being 'actively promoted'? I have encountered it, really. Not in porn - I don't watch it - but in general sex-positive messages. Of course, it was not promotion of the kind of "You are close-minded if you don't want to try it!", rather presenting it in a way which makes people who don't want any power imbalance involved in their sex lives seem like an oddity... Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 Huh, ok. No reason to not believe you, so. 🤷🏼♀️ Definitely haven't encountered that myself, like in terms of 'you're closed-minded if you don't want to try it'. Just more the message that it's ok if you are into kink/BDSM, that it's nothing to be ashamed of. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
verily-forsooth-egads Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 With the poll as it is now, it's going to look like 100% of us are at least one of those things, because there's no option for "none of the above". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 Yeah there's no way to compare numbers with those who aren't those, so the poll is kind of useless as it is. (to put it bluntly) ps it is possible to edit a poll and add options. @cato 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cato Posted September 25, 2022 Author Share Posted September 25, 2022 Haha, sorry! Totally forgot to put in a "None of the above" 😛 (Which is also how I'd vote myself.) 55 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said: I find it extremely weird to put transgender there with the other things. To be clear, I'm only including it in this poll because that's what I see therapists lumping it in under. I'll modify my wording, though, because I do consider being transgender very distinctly different from the other things... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 3 minutes ago, cato said: Haha, sorry! Totally forgot to put in a "None of the above" 😛 (Which is also how I'd vote myself.) To be clear, I'm only including it in this poll because that's what I see therapists lumping it in under. I'll modify my wording, though, because I do consider being transgender very distinctly different from the other things... ok great. And yeah it was just a sensitive reaction on my part because trans people or identities are sometimes fetishized. I understand it wasn't your intention. Link to post Share on other sites
hewhomainsness Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 just kink ...as far as i know, at least Link to post Share on other sites
EmeraldIce Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 Mostly just BDSM, though I'm not into the BDSM aesthetic. I prefer to keep things "pure" and not sexual, at least when it comes to scenario and fantasy-building. I do get a sexual reaction out of it, but including sexuality in imageries and scenes relating to corporal punishment isn't my cup of tea. I find it kind of off-putting. But BDSM is definitely a major part of who I am. I've imagined countless scenarios from childhood, before it ever became anything sexual. And now that I'm an adult, it's the only thing that reliably turns me on, and the closest I've ever come to having what people describe as a sexual urge. The other stuff I'm not sure. Non-BDSM kinks don't really draw my attention, but as long as they're not dangerous and I don't find them gross, I don't mind trying them out if my partner wants to. As far as gender goes, I'm not a girly-girl by any means, but I'm not sure if that counts as non-gender conforming. Polyamory...having to get along with one person in close proximity and spending time with them is hard enough. Doing that with multiple people sounds exhausting and anxiety-inducing. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 I may be trans and I may be polyamorous, depending on how you define each of those terms. Don't think I understand BDSM/kink stuff at all. Link to post Share on other sites
RileyA Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 9 hours ago, Ceebs said: How often do you encounter people promoting BDSM? Like in general, to those not already into it? I know some porn can be questionable, but lots of porn is questionable for many reasons even when it's vanilla porn. So where do you see BDSM being 'actively promoted'? Probably reads my medium 🤣 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Destranix Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 I ticked "interested", though I'd not say I'm interested, but I got fetishes, that are categorized in BDSM. Link to post Share on other sites
The French Unicorn Posted September 26, 2022 Share Posted September 26, 2022 I think the reason it is "a package of interests" for therapists is cause it os linked to different and sometimes frowned upon types of "sexuality". Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyn Corinn Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 I'm not sure if mine qualifies as bdsm or not, if it does then I'm interested but only in a very specific kind. Link to post Share on other sites
Lysandre, the Star-Crossed Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 I'm all four of those things, but not asexual 1 Link to post Share on other sites
a little annihilation Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 polyamorous Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted October 2, 2022 Share Posted October 2, 2022 None of the above Link to post Share on other sites
A User Posted October 13, 2022 Share Posted October 13, 2022 I would say I'm under the nonbinary umbrella but I'm strictly asexual in all other regards Sex stuff icks me out Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 I am as vanilla as you can get. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueberry Pie Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 Should I consider myself gender non-conforming? I don't know. I'm ok with they/them in addition to she/her, and I don't shave my body hair, which women are expected to do. I consider myself a woman (nowadays), and I'm AFAB. I wear woman's clothes. I'd say when I was younger, I definitely would have said "yes" to this. I used to identify as agender and try to look as androgynous as possible, but I've changed over time. No to the other things though. Link to post Share on other sites
Anomaly Q3Xr Posted October 22, 2022 Share Posted October 22, 2022 I am gender non-conforming/trans. None of the others. Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 @cato This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organisation, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to restart new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them. iff, Census Forum Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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