Friendship into relationship (?)

[The French Unicorn]

I didn't understand the question at first lol, I thought it meant "would you ruin a friendship with someone to date someone else".

Anyway I'm aromantic so, you guess the answer.

[Janus the Fox]

Me and the BF quickly became lovers after a short time as being friends.  Well I’d say ‘lovers’ it’s much more an advanced friendship, that has the occasional kiss, cuddle or sexy.  There’s no attractions either side.  We could stop talking for a month and that not change a thing.  We share fetishes, that maybe all that there is to it between 2 AroAces of 5 years.  If that what the BF has been looking for, for 20 years, it’s a good thing I am his first.  Almost everybody else would end things rather quickly without any frequent reciprocation as friends or lovers. 

[JimmyJazz]

If you couldn't get past unreciprocated feelings, your friendship must not have been that strong in the first place.

[Mishmash]

Personally, a strong friendship is as close as I want to get to people. If that changed, probably ignore it unless it's reciprocated

[Lilibulero]

I'm not even into strong friendship @Mishmash, superficial acquaintance is more than enough for me as I'm so self contained I don't need much human contact.

[banana monkey]

Maybe I've understood the question, but I think I have done this. I potential risked the friendship with my best friend when we got together. At the time, it was about balancing the risk of ruining a friendship (which I thought was very low, we both thought we would always be friends whatever happened) with the risk of not knowing if he had feelings and a relationship could occur. (which was torturing me anyway so I needed to deal with the not knowing for closure). As it turned out, we broke up and I would say although we both agreed we would still be friends and I tried, after 2 times of seeing each other a few months later (because I arranged it), I figured it was his turn if he wanted to maintain the friendship and we havent spoken since. He was obviously uncomfortable doing so. I lost my best friend, and probably the type which could have been instead of a partner, I dont have another one, so its difficult to live without it sometimes. But I got lots of relationship experience and learnt some stuff about how that worked for me (given it was my first relationship) and caused me to revaluate some things some of which have changed and some not, but the revaluation is always a good thing. 

[Terra Branford]

I would only do this if romantic attraction naturally develops unintentionally over the course of the friendship, which is really hit or miss. The only way I could comfortably get into a relationship is through an out of no where friends to lovers kind of way. 

[Sally]

On 9/26/2022 at 4:25 AM, JimmyJazz said:

If you couldn't get past unreciprocated feelings, your friendship must not have been that strong in the first place.

I don't think that's necessarily true.  Individuals are all different and you can't make judgments like that about others' emotional makeup.  

 

I didn't know at first how my partner felt about me -- he simply started coming into my office at the university where we both worked and talking with me, and I thought it was just a work friendship.  Then he asked me to go for walks on campus before I went home, and my feelings eventually developed.  But if they hadn't and I simply continued feeling we were casual friends while he felt much differently, I don't think he would have continued talking with me, because he would not have been content with unrequited feelings.  

[Guest]

I'd only ever have a relationship with someone I could be friends with first  

[Alpiste]

On 25/09/2022 at 14:56, Eutierria said:

Pesquise se você arruinaria uma amizade para arriscar um relacionamento. 

I almost ruined a friendship for a relationship. It was horrible not having this friend of mine by my side anymore. I won't do that again ever again.