​​​​​​​I’d like to know if I should define myself as non-sexual.

[Another Sky]

Hello all. I’m a Japanese and my sexuality is Asexual / Heteroromantic. Recently, I’ve read regarding the distinction between asexual and non-sexual in a Japanese web article, but I’m confused. I’d like to know if I should define myself as non-sexual.

 

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Asexuality is "a sexuality that has little or no sexual desire for another person (with or without romantic feelings)", but in Japan the term "asexual" is often used to include "not having romantic feelings for another person". Therefore, in many cases, the term 'asexual' is used to refer to a sexuality that harbours neither romantic feelings nor sexual desire, and 'non-sexual' to refer to a sexuality that harbours romantic feelings but not sexual desire.

 

That’s is true what almost all of Japanese suppose Asexual people never have feeling of love. In fact, most Japanese people predict that asexuals do not have a romantic orientation. In other words, Japanese do not separate sexuality and romantic orientation.

 

Alternatively, it would be helpful to know the latest definition of non-sexual. There is too much information for me and I am really struggling. I would be very grateful if someone could give me some feedback.

 

[Guest]

Well generally asexuality would be defined as little to no sexual attraction/sexual desire. You can absolutely feel other types of attractions (romantic, platonic, aesthetic etc) and still be asexual. If there is little to no romantic attraction/romantic desire, that is what you'd call aromantic. A person can be both aromantic and asexual (aroace for short) as well. You can define yourself however it feels the best, wether it's asexual or non-sexual

(sorry if I over-explained)

[Borderline]

 The only issue I see here is that differing definitions regarding Asexuality between Japanese & more global spheres are conflicting & thus confusing. More globally agreed upon terms might be more often than not "right", but would those help you in the environment you are currently living in, where everyone "knows" that Asexuality "means no sexual or romantic attraction at all"? An individual can not effectively change culture or meaning of words. All these terms are made up by humans, to help us understand ourselves & find others similar to us. Define yourself with what ever made-up identity that is useful, practical & true to you.

 You do not need to use same definition at every place, or for every person. If it pleases you, tell Japanese that you are Nonsexual, while presenting as an Asexual in English speaking websites. Or present as Asexual in public, but share the more correct and precise identity of Heteroromantic Asexual/ Hetero asexual/ Romantic Asexual with close enough people. Do what ever feels right, or right enough. Anything you choose is right if you are at peace with it.

 

 

 By my understanding, which is pretty surface, Nonsexual is often used as an adjective to mean exactly that; not sexual, something not related with anything sexual. I suppose it sounds more like a life-style than a sexuality.

 One definition I found from other AVEN post here reads as (I do not guarantee that all discussed there is valid, tho who knows if my opinions are valid either):

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1. Nonsexual: A nonsexual person is a person who does not value partnered sex enough to pursue it.
2. Asexual: An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. Much of the conflict that has occurred in the asexual community centres around trying to mesh #1 and #2, which is like trying to fit a square into a circle.

  My take from browsing that thread is: Nonsexual is anyone who does not engage in sexual activity, while Asexual is anyone who does not experience innate sexual attraction.

Tho again: all terms are made up & what definitions I used here might be completely wrong in the eyes of Japanese spheres. Who knows~

[Philip027]

 

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In other words, Japanese do not separate sexuality and romantic orientation.

Most people don't, which leaves romantic asexuals (or non-sexuals, as you'd put it) in a bit of a pickle.

 

You can use non-sexual if you want (it's against AVEN policy to police how anyone identifies, so presumably you could literally identify as an attack helicopter and nobody here would be able to say anything against it without breaking the rules), but people outside of Japan would likely understand romantic asexual better.  Non-sexual is a term not really in regular use here and would likely be interpreted as similarly to asexual (with no drawn meaning on romantic orientation).

 

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Nonsexual is anyone who does not engage in sexual activity,

We typically call these people celibate.  If they don't engage in sexual activity despite actually wanting to (because something is stopping them from doing so -- they may feel they're too young for it, or they may not want to do it before marriage because of their personal beliefs, for instance), we typically call them abstinent.

[SilenceRadio]

Hi @Another Sky. I don't know much about asexuality in Japan, but I know of two aces who've had to navigate this issue in Japan:

• Vesper/queerascat, who's talked about the discrepancy between the English & Japanese ace communities, and has struggled with the aroace/romantic ace divide. They've also got an entire tag for aces in Japan.
• AceAdmiral, who gave tips to an ace who wanted to come to Japan and sometimes talk about asexuality & Japan in their Wordpress & Tumblr blogs.

[Sally]

Generally, an asexual is someone who has no desire to engage in sex with another person.  Sex does not interest them and they don't enjoy it.

 

To me, a nonsexual would be someone who does not engage in sex.  They may desire sex with another person, but for any one of a number of reasons, they have decided not to engage in sex as an activity.   As said above, in the Western world we generally say that they are abstinent, or celibate.  

[Another Sky]

8 hours ago, SilenceRadio said:

Hi @Another Sky. I don't know much about asexuality in Japan, but I know of two aces who've had to navigate this issue in Japan:

• Vesper/queerascat, who's talked about the discrepancy between the English & Japanese ace communities, and has struggled with the aroace/romantic ace divide. They've also got an entire tag for aces in Japan.
• AceAdmiral, who gave tips to an ace who wanted to come to Japan and sometimes talk about asexuality & Japan in their Wordpress & Tumblr blogs.

These are of great concern to me. Thank you for sharing.

[Another Sky]

10 hours ago, Borderline said:

 The only issue I see here is that differing definitions regarding Asexuality between Japanese & more global spheres are conflicting & thus confusing. More globally agreed upon terms might be more often than not "right", but would those help you in the environment you are currently living in, where everyone "knows" that Asexuality "means no sexual or romantic attraction at all"? An individual can not effectively change culture or meaning of words. All these terms are made up by humans, to help us understand ourselves & find others similar to us. Define yourself with what ever made-up identity that is useful, practical & true to you.

 You do not need to use same definition at every place, or for every person. If it pleases you, tell Japanese that you are Nonsexual, while presenting as an Asexual in English speaking websites. Or present as Asexual in public, but share the more correct and precise identity of Heteroromantic Asexual/ Hetero asexual/ Romantic Asexual with close enough people. Do what ever feels right, or right enough. Anything you choose is right if you are at peace with it.

 

I feel a bit more secure now. Thank you. Today, Japan is still in the process of understanding asexuality. Many people in this country are confused, just as I am confused. This is because asexuality is a new word in this country.