First Sex therapy appointment, any advice?

[Tezzley]

Hi all

 

So I have my first sex therapy appointment on Tuesday. I've done therapy plenty of times, but never sex therapy, and I have no idea what to expect. The thing is, I made the appointment before I realized I'm on the asexual spectrum, so now things have been thrown up in the air. My thinking be ing my issues has changed entirely and the things I wanted to talk about aren't going to be the same as before. On the other, it's an opportunity to discuss being asexual with someone who has experience in sexuality, especially when I'm wrapping my head around discovering I'm ACE. 

 

I'm wondering if anyone has tried sex therapy before and how it was for them. Did it help? Was it what younexpected? Was the tharapist knowledgeable about Asexuality? Does anyone have any advice in approaching sex therapy? 

[Windmills of My Mind]

I haven't heard too much about experiences with sex therapists at all. But it is known that some know and acknowledge the concept of asexuality and some don't. If you happen to run into the latter, it is likely to do you more wrong than right. For that reason, I would think a good approach, assuming you want to go through with the first appointment, is to bring the subject of asexuality to the table and see how the therapist responds. You would not even need to mention that it could apply to you. You may just as well have run into it with a (potential or previous) partner? Make something up if that feels more comfortable when first discussing it in this context.

 

Depending on the response you get, does the therapist demonstrate a solid understanding, knowledge and generally positive, supportive approach to the subject then it might turn out to be very helpful to gain insight in yourself and your relations to others. If the person demonstrates to not have a clue, then I say: run, and run fast. A therapist who misses the point completely is likely to become a clusterf##k of epic proportions. Find yourself a better therapist for your situation. You deserve it and I am sure they must exist.

[sirenian]

It's also appropriate to call ahead and ask for the therapist's approach to working with asexual clients.

Any time that you're seeking a new provider (of medical care, interior decorating, math tutoring, whatever...) it's always appropriate to ask the provider's approach to a thing you care about to see whether that person's approach is in line with your goals.  
If you're trying to decorate your Victorian house, the world's very best post-modern decorator is not the person you want to employ, and that's not a problem with you or with them, just a misalignment.  So here, you can check to see whether this provider will be prepared help you in a way that is in line with your experiences, values, and goals.