Anu-Lex Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Greetings to you, fellow Aces and other Aspecs! So first, why I am here: I assumed I was asexual since I was approximately 15 years, however then went away from that idea, because I had a crush (at least I think that´s what a crush was supposed to be) and mainly because I got told by other people that you cannot have crushes and be asexual. Well, but I still had no real desire to be in a romantic partnership, let alone to kiss or have sex. Then I listened to a podcast where they explained the difference between sexual/romantic and aesthetic attraction, and then it made sense. I cannot (and maybe also don´t want to, since I think it is a bit too easy to just put people and their feelings and experiences in drawers - ) define exactly if I am fully ace, or "just" grey or demisexual. I also cannot fur sure say, if I am grey/demi or aromantic. Like I said, I do not feel very comfortable to just put it in boxes. Also, I seem to be more on the slight end of sex-repulsion. However, it does not make me or the people around me very much happy when that topic comes up around me, so I hope I can maybe learn to cope a little bit better if that topic comes up in everyday-life. I wonder if other aces experience that kind of discontend feelings when exposed to other peoples sexual/romantic relationships and what I could learn to be more understandig of how allosexuals feel. Since I am still learning what that means for me and how being asexual affects my thinking and feeling, and also the other people around me, I thought it would be a good experience to exchange experiences with other aces. First I had some doubts that there will be too much talk about sex and which labels to choose, but then I scrolled through some of the threads and actually thought it was a quite comfortable atmosphere. That to why I got here, now maybe a few words about my humble self: I am right now typing these words less than 500 meters away from one of Germanys biggest beech-forests, which I love to go to prowl around. Currently I am still a graduate student aspiring to work as a naturalist / ecologist with an ephasis on wildlife one day. For that, I currently analyse thousands (and I mean, literally thousands 😆) of camera trap images a day. In my free time I also like to write. Mainly fictional stories (also about animals), but I also like to write my thoughts and prayers down. The people who are the most important to me are my friends, and I would consider Jesus as my bestest friend. Therefore I also like going to church and connect with other Christians, hope to connect with some ace Christians as well to share experiences on living as an ace in faith and in the church. And of course I like cake. A lot. Also pizza. And basically any other food. If I would be an animal, it has to be a racoon. Cheeky, clever, climbs on trees, craves every food. With that being said, I eagerly await the conversations and discussions I can have on this forum. Greetings again, Anu-Lex. 🦝 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arianadama Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Hi and welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sister Mercurial Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Welcome to AVEN! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Typhoon Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Hello and welcome to AVEN! Are you aware of the Quoiromantic label? It's for those of us who can't say for sure what kind of ace we are and you may find it interesting. https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Quoiromantic Don't feel forced to use it if you don't want to, these things take time to figure out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Welcome! You could always use ace-spec like a broad label so that it’s not so clearly defined but still gives people who ask a general understanding of what’s going on Quote Link to post Share on other sites
omar.405 Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Servus! Grew up in Mannheim, now live in London. Was raised a Muslim also so religion plays a big part in my life, too. Glad to see some similarities between us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Hello. Welcome! [a pic of an overhead view of a round cake decorated as a fox's head.] Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Latestarter Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Welcome. Your connection to nature sounds wonderful. Keep working towards your goal of becoming an ecologist. Perhaps a post-graduate research opportunity would be worth looking into. I hope you enjoy the discussions on this site. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Phalena Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Another forest dweller! Welcome! ❤️ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anu-Lex Posted September 16, 2022 Author Share Posted September 16, 2022 Thank you all very much for this warm and cakey welcome! 😊 Those are really really beautiful cakes I would love to see and taste in Real-Life @Typhoon I know you mean well but the point is that I do not feel very comfortable claiming a specific label, so I rather go with what what @Lichley said and say I am somewhere on the A-spectrum. 😄 @omar.405 Guten Tag then to you too! I live rather in the east of Germany, so we do not say "Servus" here, but I lived in Austria for two years, so I know what you mean. @LatestarterThank you much, I am currently a master student, and do not know if I want to do a PhD afterwards. I am very interested in research but it is hard work and since projects only run for a few years or even just months I would rather look for a more "stable" job opportunity first. As an ecologist, you can also work in public authorities, national or nature parks or in offices with more practical projects which they get commissions for. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Latestarter Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 I did my degree in Animal and Plant Biology many years ago and at that time you had 2 choices, research or teaching. I chose teaching and regretted it for most of my career. I think your final sentence sounds good. Good luck with finding something you like. Keep us informed on how it goes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Purplegems3 Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Welcome Anu-Lex Quote Link to post Share on other sites
omar.405 Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 15 hours ago, Anu-Lex said: Thank you all very much for this warm and cakey welcome! 😊 Those are really really beautiful cakes I would love to see and taste in Real-Life @Typhoon I know you mean well but the point is that I do not feel very comfortable claiming a specific label, so I rather go with what what @Lichley said and say I am somewhere on the A-spectrum. 😄 @omar.405 Guten Tag then to you too! I live rather in the east of Germany, so we do not say "Servus" here, but I lived in Austria for two years, so I know what you mean. @LatestarterThank you much, I am currently a master student, and do not know if I want to do a PhD afterwards. I am very interested in research but it is hard work and since projects only run for a few years or even just months I would rather look for a more "stable" job opportunity first. As an ecologist, you can also work in public authorities, national or nature parks or in offices with more practical projects which they get commissions for. Ahh fair enough! I grew up in the south, so was obviously a much bigger part of the culture there. Almost had to resist the disgust (sic) at hearing "Moin!" thrown around when visiting my grandmother in Kiel! :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
steel_quill Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 Hi, @Anu-Lex, and welcome to AVEN! 🍰🍰🍰 Always nice to meet a fellow writer and Christian. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
B4BEA Posted October 3, 2022 Share Posted October 3, 2022 Hallo, I am new to AVEN too and am originally from Germany as well - I have made a life in the Mountains of Montana, lots of wildlife and wilderness here 😀 but large fires destroyed most of the forests Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anu-Lex Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 On 10/3/2022 at 9:53 PM, B4BEA said: Hallo, I am new to AVEN too and am originally from Germany as well - I have made a life in the Mountains of Montana, lots of wildlife and wilderness here 😀 but large fires destroyed most of the forests Oh I am sorry to hear that! Hope there is still some forest left though. For us humans it sounds tragic, but forest fires in boreal forest are actually a natural way for those forests to rejuvinate. I believe there are some coniferous tree species in the US which have cones that only open up and release their seeds after a fire. But of course, those otherwise quite natural forest fires also now are often started or enhanced by humans, which makes them worse. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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