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Can sex favorability.. change?? (And or sexual attraction)


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Normally I'm sex-repulsed but a lot of times when I am in the mood, I'm not? As well as sometimes feeling sexual attraction suddenly. But then afterward it goes back to normal, sometimes within a few minutes.

 

It's just very confusing because I seem to boomerang between "sex grody" and well... the exact opposite of that with very little in between.

 

Is that a thing? Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a name for it?

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1 hour ago, Lillikoi said:

Normally I'm sex-repulsed but a lot of times when I am in the mood, I'm not? As well as sometimes feeling sexual attraction suddenly. But then afterward it goes back to normal, sometimes within a few minutes.

 

It's just very confusing because I seem to boomerang between "sex grody" and well... the exact opposite of that with very little in between.

 

Is that a thing? Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a name for it?

Well I think that's quite common for anyone? For example right now I don't want sex, want nothing to do with sex, and if a sex scene came up in a show I'd yell abuse at the TV and fast-forward lol. But if I'm in the mood for sex, I'm much more keen, heh. I'm not asexual, but I think it's really common for people to have varying levels of repulsion or aversion unless they're actually in the mood for sex :)

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Arousal (the mental kind, not just the physical kind) has a tendency to reduce inhibitions.  Seems to be similar to alcohol in that regard.

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1 hour ago, Major West said:

but I think it's really common for people to have varying levels of repulsion or aversion unless they're actually in the mood for sex :)

Hrmmm, maybe. Can't say I'm ever averse to a sex scene though lol, unless it's portraying something I'd find creepy or gross no matter what.

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If you go from repulsed to aroused, I'd say that you have hang ups around sex that your physiology can overcome but otherwise your cognitive processing cannot. So you're repulsed until you can't help being aroused and then you return to repulsed. 

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Yeah, that's what I'd guess is going on too. I had that type of experience many times when I was younger and still had a lot of sexual shame and discomfort. My body knew what it liked and wanted; my mind was not ok accepting that. It made sex emotionally confusing and of course increased the shame.

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8 hours ago, Ceebs said:

Hrmmm, maybe. Can't say I'm ever averse to a sex scene though lol, unless it's portraying something I'd find creepy or gross no matter what.

All sexual people definitely aren't up for sex 100% of the time, and the 'aren't up for it' comes with varying degrees of not wanting it depending on the person :P  Like Henry Cavill could walk in and offer right now and I'd be very far from interested, haha.

 

Then you get sexual folks who are genuinely repulsed or even aggressively sex-negative when not in the mood though that's less common. I don't personally think that being repulsed when not in the mood indicates asexuality (as that would imply all sexual folks are always super positive towards the idea of sex regardless of the mood they are in), but everyone has to decide what label works best for them :) 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Ceebs said:

Hrmmm, maybe. Can't say I'm ever averse to a sex scene though lol, unless it's portraying something I'd find creepy or gross no matter what.

Oh I just saw your other response, yes this is the type of experience I was referring to:

 

7 hours ago, Ceebs said:

had that type of experience many times when I was younger and still had a lot of sexual shame and discomfort. My body knew what it liked and wanted; my mind was not ok accepting that. It made sex emotionally confusing and of course increased the shame.

That's one type of experience on the spectrum of 'not being in the mood' all the time or feeling averse or whatever, without it actually being asexuality - though it can be confused for asexuality. Actively desiring sex when 'in the mood' though is a strong indication that something other than asexuality may be happening, but yeah maybe the OP just means they're no longer repulsed but not actually actively desiring sex! Need more info! :) 

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2 minutes ago, Major West said:

All sexual people definitely aren't up for sex 100% of the time

Well yes, as a sexual person who's not up for sex 100% of the time and has never known another sexual person who's up for sex 100% of the time, well aware. My point was just that a sex scene never doesn't bother me or can still be pleasant to watch (as long as it's not portraying something I'd find gross or upsetting) even if I'm not at all interested in having sex myself at that moment. I feel like most people I've known are similar. But yeah I'm sure sexual people who are disgusted by sex scenes unless they're in the mood exist.

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As far as being agreeable to having sex, what I've experienced as an asexual woman is that as I aged, I became very much less agreeable to having sex.  I never felt any desire to have sex but when I was younger, I was OK with it in order to please my partner.  However, as the years went on, I felt a definite diminution in that "agreeableness".   It became just too damn much. From what I've read over many years on AVEN, that's fairly common for asexual women.  

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