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Introduction - menopause and ok with it - so now what?


rainelizabeth

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Exploring.... I was quite asexual for a very long time but eventually did have a hunger for physical intimacy eventually. Now I've had my ovaries removed because the hormonal swings were making my life too hard to manage. Now I rarely feel desire for sex but I still enjoy hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. Is there a sub-type for those of us who no longer desire full-on sexual intercourse? I am pretty certain I don't see this lack of desire as something to "fix" with hormones or any other treatment. I don't feel as if anything is wrong though i am unfamiliar with how to date now... I'm pretty sure I will lose my current partner over this.

 

Thank you for any place you can point me.

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(Below is an official, green, mod message.)

 

Hello. Welcome! I'm just letting you know I've moved your thread from the "Welcome Lounge" forum to the "Questions About Asexuality" forum, since you've asked a question and are looking for answers related to asexuality.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

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everywhere and nowhere
3 hours ago, rainelizabeth said:

Is there a sub-type for those of us who no longer desire full-on sexual intercourse?

I just wanted to point out that many activities other than "full-on sexual intercourse" are still sex. It's harmful to a lot of groups to assume that only PIV qualifies as "real sex": to lesbians (I have even seen someone ask if anyone relates to lesbians "because technically, they don't have sex"... I relate to them for other reasons and find this assumption quite patronising), to straight people who don't like PIV and may be embarassed to admit it because of how other forms of sex are portrayed as "not yet sex", as "only foreplay", as "incomplete"... :angry:

Sure, things such as kissing or cuddling can be simple sensual - as opposed to sexual - contact. But things such as oral or manual sex by all means qualify as sex.

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Thank you everywhere and nowhere. I don't know how to talk about this without listing every activity.... Doesn't it come down to arousal and how a person feels? I don't feel aroused but I do feel sensual. I am attracted to people, but I don't want sex. I am bi so don't have any illusions about what is sex and what is not but I don't think we are all speaking with the same understanding, which is what can make this so difficult.

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