Ben Gray Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 Hello! I'm Ben, and am currently questioning ... well, everything. So far, I've been both sexually and romantically active, though the two have always been distinct for me: I could have sex without any romantic or other emotional connection, and I could feel emotionally intimate with someone without any sexual component. It's simply convention/societal expectations which have had me merge the two. Now ... I'm not sure what I want. I feel like sex isn't a necessity to me, and I can meet women I feel drawn to in terms of who they are, but for whom I feel no sexual attraction. I guess I feel like I want some kind of relationship, but don't need the conventional romantic accoutrements, and it seems like it would be easier to find a compatible person if sexual attraction weren't part of the equation. All of which is a long-winded way of saying I'm not sure who I am or what I want right now, and graysexual is the closest I've found to a label which seems to fit. I'd like to explore this whole area, and can't think of any friends who would understand or relate to it, so I'm thinking a therapist is the way to go – but have no idea how to fine one who would have the awareness or open-mindedness needed to really delve into this stuff with an open mind. Does any of this make sense to anyone?! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 Hi! Welcome! If it helps and might be what you're looking for, as an example, Psychology Today has a list of therapists, in several countries. Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor - Psychology Today. There are some that list they help LGBT+ clients, but it'd, probably, be a good idea to ask them their opinion about asexuality, graysexuality, etc., to see whether or not they might be a good fit/helpful for you because, as an example, some asexuals have come across therapists who didn't seem to know, understand, or accept their asexuality. (Below is an official, green, mod message.) Hi! I'm just letting you know I've moved your thread from the Welcome Lounge forum to the "Gray Area" forum, where there are other topics about graysexuality, in case that might help. LeChat, Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ben Gray Posted September 11, 2022 Author Share Posted September 11, 2022 Thanks, LeChat. Yes, there's certainly no shortage of therapist directories, just hoping to find one with specific understanding of this area. That's a very fine cat avatar you have there! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 Maybe this site can help? https://www.pridecounseling.com/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 I'm glad I found your post. I'm 47 y.o. and been experiencing lots of regrets lately, mostly about my carreer, but also about my relationships. Younger I did like sex, as well as booze and a bit later on soft drugs too. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't succomb to hedonism and trying to make money quickly to pay for such a lifstyle. Of course, there is societal expectations, not just romanticaly/sexualy but also what is considered as a successful white male, putting emphasis of career over family and my couples (I had 2 girlfriends in my twenties). Things I whished I had, like a deeper relationship with my daughters, torment me. But then again, Kierkegaard said ''if you have children, you will regret it. If you don't have children, you will also regret it''. Though it is a torment requestionning my past decisions, it would be abnormal for someone with more years lived then years left to live to not requestion oneself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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