A late mid-life crisis (and graysexual-aware therapist recommendations, please!)

[Ben Gray]

Hello! I'm Ben, and am currently questioning ... well, everything.

 

So far, I've been both sexually and romantically active, though the two have always been distinct for me: I could have sex without any romantic or other emotional connection, and I could feel emotionally intimate with someone without any sexual component. It's simply convention/societal expectations which have had me merge the two.

 

Now ... I'm not sure what I want. I feel like sex isn't a necessity to me, and I can meet women I feel drawn to in terms of who they are, but for whom I feel no sexual attraction.

 

I guess I feel like I want some kind of relationship, but don't need the conventional romantic accoutrements, and it seems like it would be easier to find a compatible person if sexual attraction weren't part of the equation.

 

All of which is a long-winded way of saying I'm not sure who I am or what I want right now, and graysexual is the closest I've found to a label which seems to fit.

 

I'd like to explore this whole area, and can't think of any friends who would understand or relate to it, so I'm thinking a therapist is the way to go – but have no idea how to fine one who would have the awareness or open-mindedness needed to really delve into this stuff with an open mind.

 

Does any of this make sense to anyone?! 

[LeChat]

Hi! Welcome! If it helps and might be what you're looking for, as an example, Psychology Today has a list of therapists, in several countries. Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor - Psychology Today.

 

There are some that list they help LGBT+ clients, but it'd, probably, be a good idea to ask them their opinion about asexuality, graysexuality, etc., to see whether or not they might be a good fit/helpful for you because, as an example, some asexuals have come across therapists who didn't seem to know, understand, or accept their asexuality.

 

(Below is an official, green, mod message.)

 

Hi! I'm just letting you know I've moved your thread from the Welcome Lounge forum to the "Gray Area" forum, where there are other topics about graysexuality, in case that might help.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

[Ben Gray]

Thanks, LeChat. Yes, there's certainly no shortage of therapist directories, just hoping to find one with specific understanding of this area.

 

That's a very fine cat avatar you have there!

[Lichley]

Maybe this site can help?  

https://www.pridecounseling.com/

[Howard]

I'm glad I found your post. I'm 47 y.o. and been experiencing lots of regrets lately, mostly about my carreer, but also about my relationships. Younger I did like sex, as well as booze and a bit later on soft drugs too. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't succomb to hedonism and trying to make money quickly to pay for such a lifstyle. Of course, there is societal expectations, not just romanticaly/sexualy but also what is considered as a successful white male, putting emphasis of career over family and my couples (I had 2 girlfriends in my twenties). Things I whished I had, like a deeper relationship with my daughters, torment me. But then again, Kierkegaard said ''if you have children, you will regret it. If you don't have children, you will also regret it''. Though it is a torment requestionning my past decisions, it would be abnormal for someone with more years lived then years left to live to not requestion oneself.