diabolicalpact Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 Hey everyone. I'm in the mood to talk about asexual joy. I'm in my mid 30s. When I was younger I struggled a lot with my sexuality and spent a lot of time trying to figure out whether I was traumatised, sexually dysfunctional or asexual (or a triple threat!). Now I'm much more at peace with myself. Recently I've been feeling sooo gleeful about being intentionally single and childless. I've realised that the things I want from my life are in total harmony with my sexuality. It doesn't have to be a struggle. As someone who's had relationships with people of all genders, and worried if I'm queer enough, I've never really felt queerer than when I'm rejecting sex and romantic relationships altogether. I know I might not always feel this way, although I hope I do. But right now I'm just taking a moment to enjoy the liberating bliss of asexuality! 😊 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eutierria Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 3 minutes ago, diabolicalpact said: I've realised that the things I want from my life are in total harmony with my sexuality. It doesn't have to be a struggle. 🥳🥳🥳💜 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lilibulero Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 Completely get it @diabolicalpact, bliss, huh? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
slywlf Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 I completely understand this feeling! Even though I didn't discover my labels until I was in my 60s the sense of having the weight of disappointing peoples expectations slide off of my shoulders has been an immense relief! Now I live with my cat and my time is my own to use as I see fit, and don't feel the need to dress or act in any particular way, since I am not looking to attract anyone, or impress anyone. My style now is whatever suits me on any given day, and I don't give a flying toot what anybody thinks. Nice after a lifetime of doing what was expected! 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 Yeah, it's pretty awesome 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alto Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 It is the best! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis42 Posted September 7, 2022 Share Posted September 7, 2022 I’m so happy for you! And I agree. I like being ace as well. I love asexual joy. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Geekykitty Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 On 9/7/2022 at 7:39 AM, diabolicalpact said: Now I'm much more at peace with myself. Recently I've been feeling sooo gleeful about being intentionally single and childless. I've realised that the things I want from my life are in total harmony with my sexuality. It doesn't have to be a struggle. Yes asexuality doesn't have to be something to be unhappy about. I feel relieved sometimes that I don't have this "need" for sex. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind a relationship of some kind, but I'm perfectly fine being single and I think its probably easier this way and less stressful. I like the freedom of being single also! I do have a cat "baby" so I'm not quite childless and carefree 😻 She is easy to look after though and far less trouble then human children 😝 She gives me all the love and companionship I desire, so I have no need for a human partner. There are certain things in my life that I'm very unhappy with and cause me great stress and suffering, but being asexual is not one of them. I don't think I feel incredible joy about it, but I'm content with it and would be fine if I stay single my whole life. I think other people though sometimes see asexuality as something sad, like a defect or a problem. And being single is also perceived as being an unfortunate state to be in. People I know from work or family sometimes feel sorry for me and keep telling me to try online dating to find a partner, like I must be really miserable being single 😝 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diabolicalpact Posted September 11, 2022 Author Share Posted September 11, 2022 12 hours ago, Geekykitty said: I do have a cat "baby" so I'm not quite childless and carefree 😻 I have cat babies too 😊 sooo much easier than human babies! I wonder if there are more cat-peoples aces than dog-people aces! I bet there's a thread about that... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Geekykitty Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 15 minutes ago, diabolicalpact said: I have cat babies too 😊 sooo much easier than human babies! I wonder if there are more cat-peoples aces than dog-people aces! I bet there's a thread about that... I feel that cats are great friends for introverted people because they are quiet and like sitting around sleeping/cuddling. Dogs on the otherhand are more active and noisy. Whenever I visit my sister who has a dog it runs and jumps all over me and barks. Its a sweet dog but I often feel overwhelmed by it! Dogs are somehow more like human children - stressful! But cuddling my cat is relaxing. I wonder if more asexuals tend to be on the introverted side, therefore prefer cats? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diabolicalpact Posted September 11, 2022 Author Share Posted September 11, 2022 28 minutes ago, Geekykitty said: I feel that cats are great friends for introverted people because they are quiet and like sitting around sleeping/cuddling. Dogs on the otherhand are more active and noisy. Whenever I visit my sister who has a dog it runs and jumps all over me and barks. Its a sweet dog but I often feel overwhelmed by it! Dogs are somehow more like human children - stressful! But cuddling my cat is relaxing. I wonder if more asexuals tend to be on the introverted side, therefore prefer cats? I would definitely find a dog demands too much of my time and affection (like a partner 😄) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 Oh so having a dog isn't asexual enough? 🤔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diabolicalpact Posted September 11, 2022 Author Share Posted September 11, 2022 1 hour ago, Snao Cone said: Oh so having a dog isn't asexual enough? 🤔 I don't think anyone is saying that! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 17 minutes ago, diabolicalpact said: I don't think anyone is saying that! Of course not, I was kidding. Though I don't really agree with the cat person = introvert and dog person = extrovert stereotypes either. I'm more introverted than extroverted but I like dogs more (and have one) and couldn't see myself ever enjoying having a cat myself. Sometimes I like other people's cats, for brief periods, if they're not being destructive or violent. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alto Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 I am a dog person too. Always have been. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
imnotafreakofnature! Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 Another cat-loving introvert here! Although I also like dogs and have had several throughout my life, but cats just fit my lifestyle better now. Sadly, I had to have my 14-year-old baby boy put down recently because of kidney failure. I knew losing him would rip my guts out, but it's been worse than I expected. He was my soulcat. I've had numerous pets over the years and loved them all, but once in your life (or maybe twice, if you're lucky) you find one that you have a special bond with that you just don't have with the others. That was him. He wasn't just my baby, he was my treasure. 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭 Shortly after losing him, my other cat was diagnosed with kidney failure too. I don't have the bond with her that I had with him, but it still breaks my heart. Since hers was caught earlier, she may live longer with the right treatment, but there’s no cure, so I'll be facing this decision again sometime in the next year or so. 😭😭😭 But at least she'll have a better end than my baby boy did - the vet was cruel in the way he did it 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 so I'm taking her to a different vet now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
diabolicalpact Posted September 13, 2022 Author Share Posted September 13, 2022 @imnotafreakofnature!I'm so sorry for your loss. That all sounds so traumatic 😔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
imnotafreakofnature! Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 6 minutes ago, diabolicalpact said: @imnotafreakofnature!I'm so sorry for your loss. That all sounds so traumatic 😔 Thank you for your kindness. It's definitely been a tough summer. 😭💔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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