Chrissk5

[Ccd]

Hi I'm chris, has anyone had a similar experience. I'm 41, had partners of both sexes although I always fit better with men so i call myself gay. I have had sex copious amounts of times but won't go into that I've also had around 7 or 8 relationships. My last one was 18years with a gay male i was married to. The happiest day's of my life. Unfortunately he died 3 years ago. I agreed to have an open relationship with him which worked perfectly as he had an extremely high sex drive and I haven't had sex in 11 years now. I don't enjoy sex but can do it. To be honest it bores me. I often talk about I just don't want it. About 5 or 6 years ago I realised I was asexual which I've found really self affirming now I've discovered it but any time i try and talk to friends about it they always try a 1 up man tactics or say their exactly the same and know just what I mean then 1 week later they'll be going round with a new partner on their arm. I really have already known about myself but i still need to discovere myself further but finally I'm happy with all i say i am. I wouldn't say no to relationships or kissing cuddles or even sharing a bed to sleep in just nothing sexual. Now I where a tiny asexual pride badge and the progress pride flag and my mum just the other day clocked it and asked what it's for. I didn't feel ready for that conversation yet. Does any of this sound similar to anyone else's life yet.

[Guest Invisible Pumpkin]

Hi! I'm sorry for your loss of your loved one. I think there are some Avenites who may have had a similar experience to yours.

 

 

[Ccd]

Hi thanks for reading and replying. Yeah i knew about my asexuality long before he died but he took it on the chin and just longed for me in his life and I loved him so much I knew he would need his urges satisfied. We truly were in love but often people don't or can't. Thankyou for your kind wishes and I'd love to know how many more people on here have had successful relationships regardless of their asexuality.

[Highhorse]

@Ccd Hello. I am so sorry for your loss, and honestly, a little envious of the time you shared—it sounds like it was very special. 
 

Generally speaking, I wonder if it may be more difficult for a heterosexual man to accept an asexual (female) wife? I definitely feel that may be the case as all hetero males I’ve known are constantly preoccupied with sex…

 

and very few wanted to spend time kissing/cuddling even as a means to an end (intercourse) after about nine months or less  into the relationship. 

[Ccd]

I think you possibly have a point. Men in general do seem to be a lot more straight to the point especially heterosexual men and often wonder if i was heterosexual would an open relationship that was very honest had any chance of working at all.