Questioning if I was ever asexual to begin with

[Domestic Tourist]

I identified as asexual, specifically heteroromantic asexual since I encountered the term.  It seemed to fit like a glove.  I have never wanted sex, or have ever been attracted to someone for the express reason of obtaining vanilla sex.

 

However I have always had a fetish.  Consentual adult spanking.  I recently started acting on this.  I enjoy spanking women.  I am not attracted to most women that I spank, I simply have an innate drive to spank.  I don't have a "type" so to speak, and don't discriminate on race, age, body type, etc.  I am also known as Trans friendly by people in my area, and spank trans women even tho I am not attracted to them at all.

 

I have the feeling that my sexuality was sublimated into spanking, and maybe I actually have a sex drive, it just manifests differently.

 

Interestingly enough, many spankophiles identify as on the asexual spectrum.  Many women that I spank, well spanking is their ONLY thing as well, and they don't need to be attracted to a Top in the traditional sense.  Many of us use the terms "asexual" or "demisexual" on fetish sites to try to weed out people who want sex from us.

 

I don't know where this is going, opinions, is it possible to be asexual or demisexual and a spankophile?

 

 

[verily-forsooth-egads]

Of course. Lots of aces have fetishes. If you don't feel attraction to other people, don't desire sex, and find the asexual label useful, I see no cause to question it.

[Lord Revan]

It's absolutely ace. Aces can have fetishes

[WhiteCatandcherries]

Asexuality is about your sexual attraction to people and your desire for sex with people. Whether a kink is sexual for you or not have no bearing on it (because you are still not sexually attracted to people/ desire sex with people). As others have said, plenty of asexuals have sexual kinks, that doesn't make them less asexual. 

Edit: of course it is always up to you whether you want to use a label. If you don't want to use asexual, you are free to not do so. But you are fully within your rights to use it, if you want to.

[Domestic Tourist]

The asexual label is very useful in the spanking scene, mostly because of the prevalence of people having their spanking fetish manifest in such a way that sex is effectively replaced by spanking completely, and the fact that a moderately high percent of spankophiles not being "sex oriented."

 

I would say the fetish manifests one of two ways, sex oriented and non-sexually oriented.  Non-sexually oriented spankophiles tend to have spanking as their "entire sexuality."  Sex-oriented spankophiles like both sex and spanking.  It's good to know beforehand because many like me don't particularly want to have to perform sexually after a spanking scene, and so would avoid partners where that is an expectation.

[Janus the Fox]

Myself having a Furry/Mobian and related fetishes, the appeal is that it takes away the human element quite a bit.  There can be any added on fetishes on top of this one.  I’d made a full fantasy world with Janus and other characters exploring sex in a world that needs sex to function, nothing quite like what adult film is.

[Jaejaekae]

I'm also an asexual spanko!

[Lisalionheart]

On 8/14/2022 at 4:24 AM, Domestic Tourist said:

The asexual label is very useful in the spanking scene, mostly because of the prevalence of people having their spanking fetish manifest in such a way that sex is effectively replaced by spanking completely, and the fact that a moderately high percent of spankophiles not being "sex oriented."

 

I would say the fetish manifests one of two ways, sex oriented and non-sexually oriented.  Non-sexually oriented spankophiles tend to have spanking as their "entire sexuality."  Sex-oriented spankophiles like both sex and spanking.  It's good to know beforehand because many like me don't particularly want to have to perform sexually after a spanking scene, and so would avoid partners where that is an expectation.

I know I’m late to this thread, but just wanted to throw in that I’m 100% ace, 100% spankophile, and have no desire to have any sort of sexual touch at all. It’s an awesome club to be in