romantic or platonic best friend

[blackcat_23]

I am asexual and possibly demiromantic, I have a best friend who i've been close with for 3 years. I've only recently started to wonder if it is more than just platonic feelings. She identifies and demi sexual and demiromantic and we have had several conversations about our sexuality, I feel the most comfortable around her compared to anyone else I know and I share my vulnerable side with her, but I don't know if that's just a friend feeling or more. In my eyes she is amazing and someone I strive to be like, when she's around she makes me a better person.She's always saying that she glad we're so close and she helps me with my self esteem, things don't get awkward alone with her and I find myself just looking at her in absolute wonder. I just want to know if these feelings are purely Platonic or not.

[StarryNightAllAlone]

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[illumi]

cant tell for sure but to me the line between romantic and platonic attractions are blurred [hence why i consider all my strong emotional attractions alterous] so i cant speak for you. although you can also identify your feelings as alterous if you really cant figure it out

 

a tip i got from other folks on aven is that you gotta define what romantic and platonic attraction means to you and does your feeling fit either neither or both descriptions? idk if thats helpful for you but try it out 

[Thujaplicata]

For me it came down to whether I wanted to call my love for her (my best friend now girlfriend) platonic or romantic. I figured out that I wanted to be in a relationship with her and she said 'I like you too, now do you want a QPR or a romantic relationship?' 

I basically just decided that I was comfortable calling it romantic. 

 

In your case...I'm not sure what to tell you. Part of how I figured out what I wanted was by asking myself "would I want to be next door neighbors with her, share a house, or share a room?" How thoroughly did I want her entwined in my life? My answer was: as much as possible.

 

What you described sounds very romantic to some people and it could definitely be that. But I know I have similar emotions of wonder and love and respect and awe about some platonic friends and about my sisters, so it could be platonic.

 

I know when I was trying to figure out if I liked my (now) girlfriend romantically I was so annoyed because she was the person I wanted to talk such things out with and I couldn't cause this time it was about her. 

Depending on how things are, you could maybe talk to your friend about it? If you feel comfortable. It sounds like she would understand and I think it would be flattering to hear how much she means to you, and the fact that you're unsure could help keep it from becoming unrequited crush awkward. I think...

 

Anyway, best of luck! I hope some of this helped.