StarryNightAllAlone Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 What attracts you to a person, romantically and/or sexually? (You can answer this from a friendship perspective if you're aromantic.) What personality traits and physical traits (sexually or aesthetically) are you attracted to? What personality and/or physical traits repel you? Are you attracted to anyone right now? I'm asexual and I'm not attracted to people sexually, but I can experience romantic attraction. Personality wise, I'm attracted to people that are kind, intelligent, creative, eccentric, individualistic, open-minded, curious, calm, and funny. This applies to what I seek in friendships, as well. Physically, I like people with beautiful eyes. I'm not attracted to anyone that is rude, vulgar, mean, overly judgemental, close-minded, pushy, passive, unimaginative, and lacking in manners. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lysandre, the Star-Crossed Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 I am attracted to people outside the norm. The more attention-catching a person is, the more I want to get to know them. Vibrant personalities, fiery passions and rightful tempers, and rugged individuality definitely get me interested. I want somebody who is so proud and confident of who they are that they drip with "take it or leave it" energy. I want someone who wants me but doesn't need me, and who knows exactly what they're worth and hot to get it. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Snowfall Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Hardcore aroace here. I guess I like friends who can enjoy my jokes, and occasionally take my unhinged venting sessions. I guess intelligence is an important factor, but I can take the definition of intelligence in many different ways. They also have to be properly weird, or they're boring. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
a little annihilation Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Having similar interests/ tastes 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 It's complicated for me, for looks I personally don't care what a person look like I'm not a good looking person anyway so looks are an afterthought. as for personality that's pretty damn difficult as I am bad at reading people I can't tell if some is "fake" or not so if I were to find that "one person" that is calm, nice, etc, etc. I'm afraid they might turn on me, I don't know attraction is hard, tbh. Honestly I just go with the flow with a friendship for "testing" then if we were meant to be go from there.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StarryNightAllAlone Posted August 4, 2022 Author Share Posted August 4, 2022 @fuzzybear Off topic, but I love your panda profile picture! So cute. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anomaly Q3Xr Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Friendship Similar interests. Intelligent. Compassionate. Honest. Someone who is open minded. Passionate (doesn't matter what about, as long as there is something they are passionate about, like I am with my created universe). I generally prefer people who are outside the norm, have something different about them. Someone who is calm. Loyal. Romantic Essentially the same as friendship but with some aesthetic attraction. Someone that it's easy to spend time with (I find time socialising to be extremely draining very quickly). Aesthetic I'll get back to you on that, once I have pondered more thoroughly. Of course, I am quite a bad judge of character, but I never had friends until my 20's so it's taken a long time to develop a good sense of people, but I think I am (mostly) improving. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paladude Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 at the very bare minimum: it's anyone who has the same interests as me, or is at least not a dick when I talk about certain interests that they don't share with me. also someone I can feel 100% comfortable and safe to be around. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StarryNightAllAlone Posted August 4, 2022 Author Share Posted August 4, 2022 @Sammie M I'm attracted to people that have similar qualities. Socializing is draining. Thanks for your answer. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StarryNightAllAlone Posted August 4, 2022 Author Share Posted August 4, 2022 @Lysandre, the Star-Crossed I'm also attracted to people who are individualistic and passionate, although I prefer calm people. You really painted a picture of the people you like - bold, passionate, strong-willed, independent, and assertive. Thanks for your answer. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Reindeer Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 40 minutes ago, StarryNightAllAlone said: What attracts you to a person, romantically and/or sexually? (You can answer this from a friendship perspective if you're aromantic.) What personality traits and physical traits (sexually or aesthetically) are you attracted to? What personality and/or physical traits repel you? Are you attracted to anyone right now? I'm asexual and I'm not attracted to people sexually, but I can experience romantic attraction. Personality wise, I'm attracted to people that are kind, intellectual, creative, eccentric, individualistic, open-minded, curious, and calm. This applies to what I seek in friendships, as well. Physically, it depends. I do like people with beautiful eyes and a gentle presence. On the other hand, I'm not attracted to anyone that is rude, vulgar, mean, overly judgemental, close-minded, pushy, unimaginative, lacking manners, and not intellectual. I like people who stick out in some way I also like people who's personalities compliment mine (I am reserved/Proper/conservative) = I like people who are Extroverted/Sociable/Provocative) As far as falling in love I realized there has to be a very specific set of circumstances Essentially a situation where I am isolated in some way not having many freinds and someone finds me and changes my circumstances. At which piont I will fall in love with them and become obsessed with them. This is not something I am consiencely doing but of all the people I have "Loved" this was the set of circumstances and this has only happened with maybe 3 people in my life. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Invisible Pumpkin Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 The attraction combo includes the follow: *Some smartness, I don't mean like extremely smart (although that would be nice if they don't see others as inferior because of it). Smart guys are hooot (in my mind ). *Kindness/education, a touch of sweetness (directed to me) is great. *Compassion and care for others. *Must be into me, I often lose very quickly my interest in someone if I see they aren't into me or if they are in couple already. *I somewhat like certain traditional roles, like a guy that's protective to me and that care for me to be comfortable (I'll do the same for them). *Likes to take the lead and is clear to me about how they like things, I find that attractive. Physically speaking No that is the most relevant but: *Guys that are tall are often handsome in my mind. Also, those who have deep black hair and eyes and are furry, like a small beard, and hairs in the arms. But I can find others types handsome as well, like guys with blue eyes. What personality and/or physical traits repel you? *Too individualistic *Too uninterest and busy with his things to pay some attention to me *Poor hygiene. *Can't pay his bills. *Too sexual or seeking me for sex. At the moment guys start getting around that zone I run away *Too shallow, into liking people just for the way they look. Are you attracted to anyone right now? I'm not sure, to be honest, but it's possible that I'm. There are more things, but I'm feeling a bit lazy and sleepy now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
illumi Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 sharing similar traits like interests labels whatever but personality is also a factor 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Attracted to: introverts, gamers (the only people I can communicate with worth a damn due to common interests), pet people (especially fans of cats and rats), solitary people who don't have a lot of company over often, childfree/anti-natalist folk, people who are sex-averse or sex-repulsed. Physically attracted to people mostly in the face, preferring androgynous or feminine guys. I prefer a partner with a normal-looking physique, a "dad bod"--skinny is gross and triggering, and muscular is also unattainable and makes me feel insecure about my own doughy body. Repelled by: active lifestyles/people requiring me to keep up with their walks, parents (I don't care if your kid is grown, I will never be a stepparent), gym bros (guys with excessive muscle and very little body fat), people who have issues with herbivores (it does happen, men being offended and angry by me being vegetarian), hypersexuals, people who want me to sext or send nudes. Currently into someone: aesthetically there is one person, but they neither live on my continent nor date women. I'm also fairly certain I'd drive them mad in a domestic setting anyway. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Altair the Heretic Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 What attracts you to a person, romantically and/or sexually? A nice personality, values that align with mine, similar interests, and good hygiene are the main things. What personality traits and physical traits (sexually or aesthetically) are you attracted to? What personality and/or physical traits repel you? Personality traits: Kindness, honesty, loyalty, assertiveness, passion, talkativeness (this one is mostly just because I'm bad at initiating conversations lol) Aesthetic traits: Alt fashion, especially goth Physical traits: Dark hair, also I tend to be more attracted to girls than to other genders Are you attracted to anyone right now? There's people I find attractive, but I don't have a full-on crush on anyone right now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Epitaph Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 It's difficult to discern sometimes. Because so much of the time I feel a void, people don't register to me unless there's a sort of resonance to them. The resonance, sadly, is pain. I know if they've been through it. But it's a little more than that. If I see that they're persistent in spite of it, self aware and caring, yet unmarred to some degree by it, it's then that I form a bond. I need to see the fighter in them that's not going to let it take them. Once it's formed, I begin to pay more attention to who they are. A secondary marker to me is my body. Due to PTSD and how much I distrust people, and experiences with physical confrontation in the past, my body reflexively tenses if I'm touched. I either brace for an impact or I react to try and remove the threat. It's a horrible reaction I always have to work to curb. But it's also a sign if my body doesn't tense. It means somewhere in my mind I trust them. I don't typically feel physical attraction unless the bond's there, and even then, in order to feel physical attraction they need to bounce it to me. If they do, I become active. It makes me flexible, yet highly limited because I expel a coldness to people otherwise. I imagine this is in part due to my warped sexuality. I can do pretty much anything and everything, and I've seen pretty much all of it. Rather than present my warped version of sexuality to somebody, I seem to adapt and reflect theirs to some degree. As for traits, I just hope they're self aware, are good conversationalists open to talk of anything, and generally caring people. They need to be flexible enough to withstand my horrible humor that can range from incredibly dark to absurdly insane or childish. The only two traits I adamantly avoid are recreational drug users and anybody that actively hunts for any reason other than survival. I'm not a noisy person, if I argue with somebody it's not an arguement, but a discussion. I'm flexible enough to try most things, but at my core I've still got that introvert battery. A few long conversations or trips to spaces with a lot of people renders me tired and quiet. I guess that makes me a touchy feely ghost of sorts. I tend to act rather than speak, and speak sporadically when I do until I'm tired. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Epitaph Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 I spaghetti'd forgetti'd if I had any tethers to anybody at present. There's one strong one at the moment. A co-worker. Depsite having quit my job for a week or two ago, I miss them dearly. But, they're younger than me, already involved with somebody, and going places in life I'm not able to go. So, slowly the connection will dim the greater the distance and time I spend away. It'll always be there, more like a dim reminder, regret, a link I can't shake, the same as a few others in my life. There's a few other dim connections starting to form, but nothing near the strength of that one. Maybe forming, maybe frozen. Every time a bond is severed it gets harder for me to connect to people. My head senses the beginning connections and for a while gets excited, before I pull myself back so I don't end up off the handle. The problem with being emotionally starved is that I lunge like an animal if somebody fits the bill, and that just doesn't work when you're interacting with people and relationships. The only response I have is to beat down that feeling with the relatively closer reality. I'm on my own, have been for an incredibly long time, and my odds are poor and decreasing as I'm a relic in today's modern world, a broken clock trying to self repair, with a burden of family to carry. Nobody wants that in their lives. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BigBassFox Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Personality and some common interests, Similar values, and supports me and my identity, be it me as a gender fluid person, asexual, or my mental issues(such as my anxiety disorder and the voices in my head.) I don't really experience sexual attraction, I know that I experience alterous attraction, but I can't really tell what romance even is anymore. Maybe I experience it? I also like someone who listens to me and I can listen to them, communication is key, be it in a platonic, alterous or romantic relationship. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Maruni Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 I guess acts of kindness and like a certain skill that I really like about them. Looks is something but I'm more attracted to I guess skill and how clean they are in general. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TormentDubz Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Appearance, voice and personality. Interests help but aren’t entirely necessary 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NHD Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 On 8/3/2022 at 8:35 PM, StarryNightAllAlone said: What attracts you to a person, romantically and/or sexually? (You can answer this from a friendship perspective if you're aromantic.) What personality traits and physical traits (sexually or aesthetically) are you attracted to? What personality and/or physical traits repel you? Are you attracted to anyone right now? I'm asexual and I'm not attracted to people sexually, but I can experience romantic attraction. Personality wise, I'm attracted to people that are kind, intellectual, creative, eccentric, individualistic, open-minded, curious, and calm. This applies to what I seek in friendships, as well. Physically, it depends. I do like people with beautiful eyes and a gentle presence. On the other hand, I'm not attracted to anyone that is rude, vulgar, mean, overly judgemental, close-minded, pushy, unimaginative, lacking manners, and not intellectual. What attracts me to a person romantically/sexually is a man who shows he is empathetic, considerate, caring, and kind towards me and my offspring. (I am Demisexual). The personality traits I am attracted to are nice, respectful men (good boy so to speak), brave enough to stand up for me IF ever necessary, and showing interest in me. And the physical traits would be from men who are out of my league that don't approach me (of course 🙄🙃), which would be a light-skinned complected Black man (yellow or lighter) with pretty colored eyes (preferably blue), at least 33% muscular cut or stocky build, and 5'10 or taller. The personality traits that repel me are guy's who are mean-rude-bossy, purposely get in dangerous trouble, and ones who don't respect our relationship enough to keep our private business behind closed doors (unless there is mutual approval between the both of us to speak on it.) The physical traits that I would not prefer would be someone who is shorter than 5'7 and their teeth look spacey, as well as not looking like they are brushed often. Right now, I am not attracted to anyone in particular. I think about 2-3 people at times that I could have accepted starting a relationship with, but there is no one I am dating right now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elsin Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Things that attract me to a person romantically are their sense of humour and their general appearance; included in the general appearance is natural hair - unnatural hair such as dyes or coloured extensions usually turn me off. Natural hair on the other hand, particularly wavy or curly hair really gets my attention. Further to that, by general appearance I mean they're dressed well as well. Things that attract me sexually are their physique, more specifically she has to be curvy, and good tattooing; though good tattoos aren't necessary, if she has some it will go a long way for me. Personality trait-wise, I'm looking for a bubbly extravert with a good sense of humour, plenty of sarcasm for me to keep up with; I need a contrast against my generally more serious (I do have a sense of humour but it I have to be quite comfortable with someone for it to show first) and more introverted personality type. I am interested in someone right now, but I have no idea if she feels the same and, indeed, whether or not she is even single. She has changed her hair recently, though, from natural to dyed and I'm a bit gutted she did because her hair was so nice. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Their relationship to both music and humour, and how they're similar to my own. If their humour isn't kinda fucked-up, dark and irreverent, we probably won't get on. If music isn't an important thing in their life, there'll be something missing from our connection. Being somewhat of a nerd is attractive. And being someone who talks about emotions. Intelligence, wit, compassion. Having a strong, distinctive personality. People who aren't rule followers and have a contrarian streak to them. Snark, lol. Appearance isn't a huge factor other than 'not so unpleasant I don't even want to look at them'. I don't seem to have a type when it comes to either women or men, although I do like beards on men so that's sort of a happy bonus if someone has one. 12 hours ago, StarryNightAllAlone said: Are you attracted to anyone right now? Yep, my partner of just over two years now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis42 Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 I like people who are kind yet a bit snarky, have a similar sense of humour to mine, creative and artistic, open-minded, easy to talk to, in touch with their emotions, understanding and accommodating, and have a pleasant speaking voice (bonus points if they’re also a good singer). Most of this goes for both potential friends and partners. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Abhorred Posted August 4, 2022 Share Posted August 4, 2022 Their blood 🦟 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MinnieMouse Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 I’m attracted to intelligent, intellectual, feminine and unique women. 💕 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ella of Frell Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Honestly, I have no idea what attracts me. I am never sexually attracted to anyone, but I have random crushes/squishes all the time. I can't seem to find any specific similarities or traits between them though. Usually, I am less attracted to straight guys (I don't know why it's just a thing), but my most recent crush was on my best friend's very straight older brother. So, I don't even know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 What attracts you to a person, romantically and/or sexually? (You can answer this from a friendship perspective if you're aromantic.) An overall good human being who is trying to be their best selves. I'm intolerant of people who stay stuck in problematic behaviors just because it's easier. I don't give a shit about having surface level interests in common with someone. I've been with my wife for 18 years and we don't have any interests in common but all of our core values align. I place more of an emphasis on deeper connection. For an example: my wife and I are Mexican grew up in the hood. We were able to make it out together and left our families behind even though it was culturally unacceptable. What personality traits and physical traits (sexually or aesthetically) are you attracted to? What personality and/or physical traits repel you? I don't care about physical traits, I find almost all women attractive. I say "almost" because if they have an ugly personality then nothing will make them attractive in my eyes. I'm not interested in being with anyone who has a daily habit of smoking/drinking/drugs, that's a hard pass. Selfishness is not going to fly with me. Just accepting what you read at face value without questioning the source. Someone who doesn't treat animals or kids right. Easy to get upset instead of trying to problem solve. Are you attracted to anyone right now? My favorite person, my wife. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Virelai Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 I had a long conversation with a good friend about this not too long ago, because a crush didn't work out for me (again) and my friend was close to the situation and we got into a long discussion and she asked me what traits I'm looking for. ~Introverted. Someone who needs space, because I need space, too. (although perhaps this is false, as I tend to get very clingy with people I'm most compatible with) ~Similar interests. Both of the individuals I have fallen hard for were both double reed instrumentalists like me (bassoon, oboe, English horn), so you could say that is an specific interest that I tend to be attracted to. ~Similar morals. I can not be with a conservative/Republican and/or anyone that voted for Trump. That just shows a complete lack of morals and I can not trust anyone like that. ~Non-religious. Being non-religious is not a requirement, but I'm non-religious myself and tend to be drawn toward people who are non-religious. (My first love was an atheist, my second, I don't know for sure, but I just know she didn't/doesn't talk about religion). If someone is religious, they really need to be like religious-lite. No/little church attendance or at least no pressure on me to do so. No belief in eternal torture for non-believers, as that could cause issues in a relationship with a non-believer like me. ~Loves dogs and animals. ~Doesn't do drugs. Either doesn't drink, or doesn't drink much. ~Can tolerate me, not find me annoying. ~Etc. Elements I am physically attracted to are pretty much irrelevant in my mind. When I fall for someone for their personality first, then the rest will come. It always has for me. I am primarily attracted to other women. I am grasping with the fact that I can be attracted to men, as well. But it's much harder for me. =/ I think you could extrapolate what I wouldn't be attracted to from the above. Lol. Am I attracted to someone right now? Yes. Still feeling attraction toward the aforementioned crush that didn't work out, but quite different from before. As you can see from my list, it's very hard for me to find someone, so that makes me hard to fully get over someone special when I find them. =( 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 Big brain energy, creativity. If you have those two then I'm interested. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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