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Well, ive been considering the possibility of being asexual for a short amount of time, and was wondering if this meant anything.

i'm 16. and up until a couple weeks ago, i had never been in a sexual relationship. but i have a guy friend who i became very close with during the past 9 months or so, and we decided to give it a try. This is the point in which i considered asexuality. i've never been that into having sex, or wanting to, and i almost hate intimacy and sex always makes me feel a little awkward. I dont not enjoy sex, but its something i could live without. i do it anyway, mostly because sexual 17 year old boys arent 100% open with the idea of not having sex, even if he says he understands. I honestly dont mind though, it feels good.

my question: even though i enjoy the 'feeling' of sex (well, more the foreplay), am i still considered asexual, or maybe just sexually indifferent (if thats not the same thing)? As far as the relationship, i'm not sure what to do, but it hasnt been much of a problem so far.

thanks!

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I feel a bit like that - though I've never had sex, I thikn I'd have the capacity to enjoy it if I was in the right situation. But I don't fancy individuals or could initiate it really.

Everyone's differently placed on the scale...

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Hallucigenia

There are people here who consider themselves asexual who say things similar to you - they don't mind sex, and it often feels good, but they could honestly do without it and they wouldn't seek it out if left to their own devices.

Our definition of asexuality here is that it's a person who doesn't experience sexual attraction. And, while sexual attraction is something that even the world's leading sexologists have trouble defining, it generally involves thinking someone is sexy and actually wanting to have sex with them. Letting yourself get pressured into sex and then not really minding it when it happens isn't quite the same thing. So sure, you could be asexual (though only you can decide for certain).

In a way, I think people who feel the way you do are pretty lucky. You can survive in a sexual relationship and you can survive without one. Very useful. 8)

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I feel a bit like that - though I've never had sex, I thikn I'd have the capacity to enjoy it if I was in the right situation. But I don't fancy individuals or could initiate it really.

Everyone's differently placed on the scale...

I am the same way. I kind of look at myself as being a chameleon as I can try (and often succeed) to adapt myself to fit into the parameters of relationships. I could be in a traditional sexual relationship and be happy (as long as there was some form of mental compatibility....could never sustain a relationship based on sex) and am perfectly happy in my asexual marriage. This is probably because all I need/want is to feel loved and there are many many ways to express that besides just sex. I don't mind sex...I have some form of drive based on hormones (it doesn't connect back to sex itself really) and can harness that energy and direct it how I need. For that I count myself very lucky.

Maarek

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............

Yup, I'm pretty much the same way, although I haven't actually had sex.

The thing about asexuals, I think, is that they introduce a new dimension to the whole sexuality thing. There's gender-based attractions, age-based attractions, and then there's desire to have sex/disinterest/repulsion.

And then there's things that I can't really fit in.

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Here's how I feel- I identify as asexual although I often feel very different from many asexuals on AVEN. I don't need sex, I don't experience sexual attraction, but I actually enjoy it and am fine being in a sexual relationship. Maybe I could identify as sexual if I wanted to (or maybe hyposexual?), but when it comes down to it, I just feel a lot different from how sexuals feel. So... identifying as asexual works for me. 8)

And Hallu... I know what you mean, I often think I have it pretty easy too since I'm ok being in a sexual relationships or not in one. But... I still feel kind of awkward when it comes to sex because I don't get into "sex brain" mode like sexual partners do. But, it doesn't seem to ruin the experience, so I guess it's fine. :P

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