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frustr8ed

do asexuals masterbate?

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frustr8ed

HI,

I'm new to what classifies an asexaul and was wondering what makes an asexual an asexual.

I understand(trying to anyway) the whole no interest in sex thing

but what about self administered stimulus

some like to cuddle and kiss

any info is greatly appreciated

thanks

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FISH'

Basically, an asexual is someone who has no wish to participate in sexual activities with another person. Some asexuals do masturbate. There's also the whole realm of fetishes that I don't completely understand.

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T.Van

Some do masturbate (for various reasons), others don't. Some like kissing and cuddling, some don't. Some like hugs but not kisses.

It depends on the person.

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thylacine

I don't... There are other things I'd prefer doing... empty & clean out the litterbox, for example...

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osito
empty & clean out the litterbox, for example...

:D :D :D

ah, well, I get plenty o' dat as a cat rescuer.

And yes, I masturbate. No shame in that.

But I have no interest in rubbing my arousable body parts upon another person's body parts.

Cuddling...sure, with people I like.

Kissing...pecks on the cheek, yup.

Tongue acrobatics...nope. :x

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Camella

I completely do not understand "fetishes"

I get masturbation and my mind thinks of darkness or black nothingness when doing so.

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Dargon

FOr many asexuals, masturbation is simply a physical release.

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cryspatus

I don't.. I don't know about everyone else but I have no desire to. I like to cuddle and kiss sometimes, but not often..

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Amcan

Some do yes.

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l'héros

i hate how some sexuals say that because some do (or even that we can get aroused) is evidence that asexuality doesn't exist. But just because they masturbate or get aroused doesn't mean that one wants to connect their genitalia with another :/

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thylacine

I don't need a physical release. I guess that proves asexuality exists, right? Actually, I don't get why people need a physical release, or what they would want a physical release for in the first place? How 'bout picking up a nice book... ?

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osito
Actually, I don't get why people need a physical release, or what they would want a physical release for in the first place?

:D Now here's a place I have never been before...trying to explain why autoeroticism is a special and sometimes needed release for me. Less so than it was 20 years ago, mind you. It's not just that it feels good to have an orgasm (it does)...it really helps me relax when I'm tense or get to sleep when my mind is full of yammering chatter. And it's not even necessary to take it all the way to O...it can be very relaxing even halfway there.

But I consider myself just as solidly asexual as anyone who isn't interested in masturbation, because I have no interest in sharing this sort of touching or release with other people. I have checked it out often enough to be certain :roll: I don't like it. Never will.

osito

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ratatosk_lemur
I don't need a physical release. I guess that proves asexuality exists, right? Actually, I don't get why people need a physical release, or what they would want a physical release for in the first place? How 'bout picking up a nice book... ?

I suspect the simplest answer to this is that you're lucky not to need one, but not needing one means you probably can't understand why others' do.

Several people have tried to explain it here--the best I can do is that, though I don't find orgasm pleasant, the feeling in my groin when my body wants to orgasm and hasn't in a while is unpleasant, and orgasm makes it go away for a while.

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bbctv

some asexuals do masturbate - whatever goes on in their minds is a mystery to me, but i won't deny them the label. i'd say private practice is irrelevant since "asexual" primariy refers to relations with another person.

hugs and kissing as long as there's not a lot of saliva is ok with me. cuddling is ok with someone i'm really close to, but that's so far happened.... NEVER in life. so that's more a hypothetical.

also, ratosk-lemur probably has it right. a lot of people's bodies just get aroused and though they do not connect this with any behavior, it's like, you've got to make it go away.

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KAGU143

Once again I will say that, for me, (and, I suspect, a lot of other asexuals,) masturbation is about as significant as nose picking.

Sometimes it can be perfectly justified and even beneficial, but that doesn't mean it needs to be shared.

And, to quote Tina Turner: "What's love got to do with it?"

-GB

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scamper
I don't need a physical release. I guess that proves asexuality exists, right?

Y'know what? I'd say that even if you wanted that release but felt no compulsion to seek it with another person, that'd be proof enough for me that asexuality exists (not that I ever actually doubted it, mind you).

Over the past few months, I've been having some marital problems which have made me realise something about my own sexuality. In the past, I've only ever been celibate by choice - but now, for the first time, I'm in a situation of having sexual desires but not being able to act on them due to circumstance.

In a way, it's given me the perspective of what it must be like to be in a relationship with an asexual person, even though that's not actually my situation.

Anyway, the point is this: masturbation is incredibly dissatisfying if what you actually desire is a sexual connection with another person. The "release" of an orgasm is approximately one tenth of what's appealing and desirable about sex, and only having access to a tiny fraction of something only amplifies your desire for the other portion. It's like suddenly feeling full without having eaten a delicious meal, or crossing a finish line without having run the race. The thing that makes it a satisfying moment is missing.

Masturbation is, in my opinion, about "release", or about learning and getting to know your own body and your own sexuality (something that a lot of people find very useful and satisfying). But it's not sex, and it's not a substitute for sex, if sex is what you truly want or need.

Asexuals' need (or lack of need) for this type of release is irrelevant to the discussion of what sexuality and asexuality are, in a lot of ways. It's a physical function. It's got little to do with the complex world of sexual desire, at least in this context.

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Zane
I don't need a physical release. I guess that proves asexuality exists, right? Actually, I don't get why people need a physical release, or what they would want a physical release for in the first place? How 'bout picking up a nice book... ?

Speaking as a sexual:

I love to read! Great pass time. ^_^ Doesn't quite carry the physical pleasure of masturbation, but defiantly carries a mental level of pleasure. Many people have already listed reasons why they do it, I'd like to add that it really helps people, such as myself, who have insomnia sleep easier.

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GreyCloud

I've mainly seen the question of "releasing oneself" being disussed here. Some seem to have the need and tend to it by masturbating, others claim they just don't feel it and therefore don't see it necessary to touch themselves. My question is, what about those who actually feel the "itch", so to speak, but just aren't capable of the feeling.

My personal experience with masturbation is that while sometimes I'd like to do it, I never ever feel anything when I touch myself. I wouldn't call it a need or anything, and I'm not seeking any sort of release, because there isn't really tension. I do however feel arousal, albeit just mentally. My problem is, there's nothing I can do about it because I am incapable of physical arousal, be that created by my own hands or my girlfriend's.

So to answer the original question, I do not masturbate, never have and probably never will. I've attempted to do it at several stations in my life but it never gave me anything other than a frustrated state of mind.

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CrazyCatLover

I tried it out once, but got bored pretty quickly. Of course, I didn't even realize that orgasm was a goal of masturbation... I've considered trying it again to reach orgasm, but ... I'm just not very interested. I'd probably just get bored anyway. I honestly think I'd rather do Organic Chemistry homework and I really hate Organic. It's just a necessary evil to study genetics!

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egirl360

I tried it a few times. It didn't really do anything for me. It isn't really worth the effort in my opinion. Some asexuals do enjoy it, though.

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AliceInWonderland
I don't need a physical release. I guess that proves asexuality exists, right?

Anyway, the point is this: masturbation is incredibly dissatisfying if what you actually desire is a sexual connection with another person. The "release" of an orgasm is approximately one tenth of what's appealing and desirable about sex, and only having access to a tiny fraction of something only amplifies your desire for the other portion. It's like suddenly feeling full without having eaten a delicious meal, or crossing a finish line without having run the race. The thing that makes it a satisfying moment is missing.

Masturbation is, in my opinion, about "release", or about learning and getting to know your own body and your own sexuality (something that a lot of people find very useful and satisfying). But it's not sex, and it's not a substitute for sex, if sex is what you truly want or need.

Asexuals' need (or lack of need) for this type of release is irrelevant to the discussion of what sexuality and asexuality are, in a lot of ways. It's a physical function. It's got little to do with the complex world of sexual desire, at least in this context.

I consider myself sexual and am female, but I don't consider myself all that sexually experienced due to circumstances before marriage and now my asexual husband with whom I haven't had sex in years - believe me, I yearn to have sex with him, so I do desire another person - him. But, when I masterbate (since that's my only option at this point when it comes to sex), I find it to be incredibly satisfying, I mean it's as though someone is there sharing the experience with me. I don't use plastics either. So, for me as good as I feel with masterbating and as inexperienced as I am with others, I don't know if I'm the norm. or the exception here. So, forgive me if I sound ignorant when I ask this question, but are you male or female, and is it different when males masterbate than it is when females masterbate? Is it because of anatomical difference that it's less satisfying for a male than a female, or is it just me reading into this? Please explain.

Thanks and sorry if this offends anyone.

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AliceInWonderland

I guess in thinking about this, maybe it should be obvious to me that at least from what I've heard, intercourse is more satisfying for a male because a male always has an orgasm during intercourse with a female, but a female does not always orgasm during intercourse with a male, or is this correct? What about masterbation? Is a woman designed such that masterbation is more satisfying for her than for when a male masterbates, or is it the same arousal effect? I wonder if masterbation for a woman is as satisfying as the woman having sex with a man. I'm trying to figure this out. Sorry for so many questions.

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Zanedia

This may come across as odd.... but I'd been doing it since I was 6. So, I'm more than capable of doing it myself. It's always and only been connected to fetishes. In fact, if a thought about guys ever popped into my head, I'd get turned off. It's always been that way.

I do it very little anymore. In fact, I hardly think of sex, relationships, or anything along that line. I only get aroused in the middle of the night, once a month at most, right before Aunt Flo pays a visit. That is all.

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Hallucigenia

Alice, it's hard to say whether something is more satisfying for men or for women, simply because you can't get into a man's head and a woman's head and compare their feelings objectively. All we can get is qualitative descriptions of the experience from individual men and women.

(I suppose you could ask a post-operative transsexual, but even then the answer would be biased by things like the person feeling more comfortable in one body than the other, and by the limitations of medical science in producing exact replicas of one or the other gender's equipment, not to mention male and female differences in brain chemistry, and so on...)

It's true that not every woman has an orgasm every time she has sex; in fact, most women can't have orgasms from intercourse alone and need additional stimulation. It's not that hard for one partner or the other to provide this additional stimulation during sex, though. It's also not that hard to get both people off nonpenetratively. (I am speaking here of "normal" sexual women; with cases of sexual dysfunction it is more complicated, and it goes without saying that asexual women may not enjoy it as much.)

I wouldn't really worry about it too much if I were you. I think you're lucky to have found a way of satisfying yourself so thoroughly, even if it's not what you wish you were doing.

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AliceInWonderland
I only get aroused in the middle of the night, once a month at most, right before Aunt Flo pays a visit. That is all.

My arousal depends on my cycle as well - it is heightened with ovulation, and then aunt flo. I have had occasion to do it daily for months at a time. I don't know if that's considered odd by all or not, but it's gratifying to me. I used to think of my husband when I did it, but no longer since he has told me he's asexual - I know I'll never get sex from him, so it's a let down if I do think of him.

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AliceInWonderland
Alice, it's hard to say whether something is more satisfying for men or for women, simply because you can't get into a man's head and a woman's head and compare their feelings objectively. All we can get is qualitative descriptions of the experience from individual men and women.

(I suppose you could ask a post-operative transsexual, but even then the answer would be biased by things like the person feeling more comfortable in one body than the other, and by the limitations of medical science in producing exact replicas of one or the other gender's equipment, not to mention male and female differences in brain chemistry, and so on...)

It's true that not every woman has an orgasm every time she has sex; in fact, most women can't have orgasms from intercourse alone and need additional stimulation. It's not that hard for one partner or the other to provide this additional stimulation during sex, though. It's also not that hard to get both people off nonpenetratively. (I am speaking here of "normal" sexual women; with cases of sexual dysfunction it is more complicated, and it goes without saying that asexual women may not enjoy it as much.)

I wouldn't really worry about it too much if I were you. I think you're lucky to have found a way of satisfying yourself so thoroughly, even if it's not what you wish you were doing.

Thanks Hallucigenia. That helps, but I still would like to hear from all different sides. I wish I had found out more about me when I was younger, so I could feel more self-assured now. I guess that's why I'm so anxious to know more and am trying to cram it into a small space in time since I feel as though time is slipping away from me.

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square peg
This may come across as odd.... but I'd been doing it since I was 6. So, I'm more than capable of doing it myself. It's always and only been connected to fetishes. In fact, if a thought about guys ever popped into my head, I'd get turned off. It's always been that way.

Same here, except I was a little older.

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Placebo
My personal experience with masturbation is that while sometimes I'd like to do it, I never ever feel anything when I touch myself. I wouldn't call it a need or anything, and I'm not seeking any sort of release, because there isn't really tension. I do however feel arousal, albeit just mentally.

Ah, this is about as close as I've heard to describing me, roughly. It's tough for me to feel mental arousal either, though.

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