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37 Things Asexual And Aromantic People Wish People Would Stop Saying To Them - BuzzFeed


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This just showed up in my Facebook news feed. I know, I know... it's BuzzFeed... but it's pretty decent, echoing lots of things I've read from asexuals and aromantics here on AVEN.

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caracal

 the no.20 i am aromantic but not asexual seems like a parody.all the people who just want sex and not rerious relationships like fuckboys

imagine if they start saying i am aromantic but sexual.

 

 

 

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Lilibulero

Number 36 makes me roar with laughter. It's like that thing where couples cling together ( much like threatened monkeys do), as if 

- I'm going to steal their SO       -they might 'catch' aroace           - they want to stamp it into me that I'm ' missing something '.

 

Believe me, if they could read my mind -

 

 

 

 

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I didn't gotten anything said to me, but I did implicitly mentioned I'm not people that way, and then was asked "why not". Like, dude, not your business and leave it as that.

 

Since I don't have anything here or experienced those things on the list, let me response to each 37 things:

 

 

1. It's just a phase.

My response: Uh, I'm 28, and I been there, and it's certainly not cracked up as it is to be.

 

2. Difficulty explaining demisexuality

My response: This is more or less understandable considering there's zero fine lines between between a typical allosexual or a demisexual. Under some model, I'm a demi-romantic, but for practical and communicative purpose, I have to reject the model being applicable to me as at the end of the day, I'm ok with romance with other people, and that's all that matter from the communicative perspective. There's no point distinguishing or splitting hairs in context of myself.

 

3. "'I just want you to find someone so you won’t be lonely.'"

My response: Please don't. That's not how it works. You can find the most sexiest, and with the most attractive personality, and I still wouldn't be into her that way either romantically or sexually.

 

4. Being asexual means I can't date other people.

My response: Love and sex aren't the same. Next.

 

5. ‘You just haven’t met the right person yet.'

My response: That right person (if she exists) could be near me right now, and I wouldn't be interested.

 

6. "The idea that we're going to meet someone and magically be sexually attracted to them."

My response: Seductive mermaids don't exist. Magic isn't real.

 

7. That asexuality/aromanticism isn't queer.

My response: Personally, I don't take issue with this as I don't see myself queer and will never do as I don't see myself as queer, but I would point out other asexuals would be offended by it.

 

8. People sticking their nose on other's people business

My response: Why are you so interested into what they're doing? All I gotta say, please don't be weird.

 

9. "I’ll share the way I experience human interactions and dating and friends will claim that my account is 'robotic' or 'inhuman.'

My response: This is easily applicable since I have no attachment to humans other than primary family. Zero otherwise.

 

10. "'You're never wanted to sleep with anyone? Like even your favorite celebs?' Nope."

My response: Had, yes. Now, not interested. Happy with that. Bye.

 

11. 'late-bloomer.'

My response: I'm 28, and while I had experienced it, it's just not great. Happy to see it out decade ago.

 

I think I'll just leave it to 11.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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13 minutes ago, caracal said:

 the no.20 i am aromantic but not asexual seems like a parody.all the people who just want sex and not rerious relationships like fuckboys

imagine if they start saying i am aromantic but sexual.

Well yeah that would be stupid, but the comment itself seemed genuine. Some aromantic people aren't asexual.

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WhiteCatandcherries
12 minutes ago, caracal said:

 the no.20 i am aromantic but not asexual seems like a parody.all the people who just want sex and not rerious relationships like fuckboys

imagine if they start saying i am aromantic but sexual.

 

 

 

People can be allosexual and aromantic, it's a valid identity. 

Edit: seems like I was a second slower than you @Ceebs

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caracal

you see how is ridiculous though? like now what fuckboys can justify their actions? i mean i really do not care to stop people from labeling themselves, people can  put whatever label they want if it makes them feel better. but i feel the obsession with labels seems kind of ocd.

 

usually i don't even need to say i am asexual.this is how it goes everytime someone just wants sex. he says how long ago was you last relatioship. and if i say long time.

then they ask "But don't you miss having sex?"

that hits on my nerves

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WhiteCatandcherries
1 minute ago, caracal said:

you see how is ridiculous though? like now what fuckboys can justify their actions? i mean i really do not care to stop people from labeling themselves, people can  put whatever label they want if it makes them feel better. but i feel the obsession with labels seems kind of ocd.

People uses labels because it describes their experinces and helps give a feeling of identity and community. Idk much about fuckboys, but you can be allosexual and aromantic and be fully decent about the sex you have - like only hook up with people who also wants casual sex or being upfront that you are not going to develop romantic feeling for your sexual partners. If there is any fuckboys who "misuses" the label, that's on them not on the totally valid label for a totally valid identity.

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caracal

sure allow me to disagree. we do not have to agree with everything.my opinion is people just saying the same thing with different words sometimes because it allows them to justify themselves ..

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Someone Else

"I'm asexual"
"Well of course you are."

Then I'm squinting trying to figure out if that was some kind of insult.  

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Blueberry Pie

This seems like a pretty good article. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks, @Ceebs.

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