Jump to content

How Do You Do, Fellow Asexuals?


50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Recommended Posts

50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Hello everyone! My name is TJ (he/him). I am an autistic gay trans man in my mid 30s. I very recently discovered that I am some flavour of greysexual (likely fraysexual or autochorissexual aegosexual) and possibly demi-homoromantic. I am an avid volunteer in the 2S-LGBTQQIA+ community, facilitating peer support groups for queer youth and adults. I love learning about our community not only to help and educate others but also to better understand myself and my identity.
 

I've had inklings of my asexuality in the past but just didn't realize it at the time. My partners would usually be the ones to initiate intimacy, and most of the time I didn't really feel like it but went along with it anyways because it seemed to make them happy (plus  societal norms and expectations ). I was also okay with doing my own thing and not pursuing what everybody else wanted. (I think Florence described it best for me: "It's sort of like, I'm surrounded by a huge feast with everything I could want to eat but I'm not hungry"). It wasn't until I started dating my current boyfriend and he started asking me questions and providing observations that the pieces started to fit together. Plus, watching videos like Jaiden's "Not Being Straight" were very relatable to the point where it made me question myself and everything I thought I knew.
 

I'm hoping to gain more insight from community members and learn more about asexuality and what it means to be asexual and/or aromantic, especially within the scope of the 2S-LGBTQQIA+ community. I appreciate each and every one of you for sharing your lived experiences as it helps people like me on the path to discovery.
 

I hope to see y'all around! Bye for now 👋

P.S. - Dendrology is my special interest so if you ever wanna talk to me about trees that wood be tree-ific!

P.P.S - I like bad puns

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
WhiteCatandcherries

Welcome to aven! 🍰🍰🍰

33 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

 societal norms and expectations

ha ha! (sorry they suck)

Unfortunately I know very little about trees. 

btw feel free to use the term autochorissexual if you want to, but just letting you know that most people use aegosexual, and the term autochorissexual was coined by a psychologist that classified it as a form of paraphilia (hence the need for a new term). 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
MyriadCrux

Hello and Welcome to Aven.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, TJ. Welcome! :cake:

 

:P It looks like I've got to post this:

 

[a pic of the meme with Steve Buscemi in a school, wearing a red hoodie and cap, carrying a skateboard over one shoulder. It says "How do you do, fellow asexuals?"]

 

6jdihe.jpg

 

[a pic of two images: one on the left, with eight, vanilla cupcakes (in white and rainbow liners) and rainbow frosting; and on the right, an overhead close up of one cupcake.]

 

maxresdefault.jpg

 

:) Do you have a favorite type of tree? Do you grow any fruit trees, as an example?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Calliers

Hi there, and welcome to AVEN! :D 🍰 🍰 🍰

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Monke Ilahi

Hello and welcome to AVEN! 🍰🎂🍰

 

1 hour ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

if you ever wanna talk to me about trees that wood be tree-ific!

Real quick, I had a friend ask me about this: do you know what wind speeds cause significant damage to trees?

I mean, recently we also had golf-ball sized hail, which doesn't really help the local plant life. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Boondocks Paradox

Hello and welcome to AVEN!!!

 

IMG_4421.JPG

 

We wholeheartedly accept pun-y people here; hope you enjoy your stay 😁

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AVEN!

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
50_Shades_of_Greysexual
4 hours ago, WhiteCatandcherries said:

Welcome to aven! 🍰🍰🍰

ha ha! (sorry they suck)

Unfortunately I know very little about trees. 

btw feel free to use the term autochorissexual if you want to, but just letting you know that most people use aegosexual, and the term autochorissexual was coined by a psychologist that classified it as a form of paraphilia (hence the need for a new term). 

Cheers, thanks! And perfect, thank you so much for letting me know! I can (somewhat) relate in a small way, RE: Asperger's Syndrome.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Thank you for the warm welcome!
 

5 hours ago, LeChat said:

:P It looks like I've got to post this:

 

[a pic of the meme with Steve Buscemi in a school, wearing a red hoodie and cap, carrying a skateboard over one shoulder. It says "How do you do, fellow asexuals?"]

 

6jdihe.jpg

 

Hahaha, excellent! I was hoping someone would understand the reference 🙂
 

 

5 hours ago, LeChat said:

:) Do you have a favorite type of tree?

I sure do! The ginkgo or maidenhair tree (Ginkgo biloba) is my favourite tree; my pfp is actually an illustration of a ginkgo leaf drawn with pastel rainbow watercolours (though the colour of a real ginkgo leaf is usually green).


 

5 hours ago, LeChat said:

Do you grow any fruit trees, as an example?

Sadly, I live in an area where growing fruit trees is very difficult, with a couple of exceptions (e.g. cold-hardy apple trees). We're super producers of bush fruit, though (e.g. strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, haskaps, etc.)!


Do you have any interests you like to talk about? 😄

Link to post
Share on other sites
50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Thank you for the warm welcome!
 

14 hours ago, Monke Ilahi said:

Real quick, I had a friend ask me about this: do you know what wind speeds cause significant damage to trees?

I mean, recently we also had golf-ball sized hail, which doesn't really help the local plant life. 

I'm so glad you asked! Honestly, it depends. Tree failure is the result of a combination of factors, including yet not limited to...

  • Species
  • Age
  • Height
  • Crown size
  • Structural defects or weaknesses
  • Loads
  • Bending moment (= force x length of lever arm)
  • Stress raisers (e.g. pests, erosion, compaction, poor soil quality, etc.)
  • Environmental factors (e.g. wind, gravity, topography, soil texture, moisture, etc.)

Thus, wind speed alone may not entirely predict tree failure or extent of damage. For example, a structurally weak tree may fail in wind speeds not typically associated with significant damage, like a strong breeze (25-31 mph/39-50 kph).

However, there are effects correlated with certain categories of wind speeds that can help determine how wind may affect a tree of concern:

  • Wind speeds classified as a "hurricane" (> 73 mph/117 kph; Force 12) can cause widespread damage to even defect-free trees.
  • Wind speeds classified as a "storm" (55-63 mph/88-101 kph; Force 10) can cause significant damage to most trees, including snapping the trunk or windthrow (uprooting). 
  • Wind speeds classified as a "strong gale" (47-54 mph/75-87 kph; Force 9) can cause slight structural damage in sound trees; this is the wind speed associated with detached roof shingles.


I hope this helps! Let me know if you require additional information and I would be happy to provide it 🙂

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You're welcome!

 

36 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Hahaha, excellent! I was hoping someone would understand the reference 🙂

:D Yes. It's a funny meme.

 

39 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

I sure do! The ginkgo or maidenhair tree (Ginkgo biloba) is my favourite tree; my pfp is actually an illustration of a ginkgo leaf drawn with pastel rainbow watercolours (though the colour of a real ginkgo leaf is usually green).

Oh, cool! (looks at internet pics of the tree and its leaves.) The leaves look nice (I like all of the bright, yellow leaves.) They remind me of a butterfly's spread wings.

 

46 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

...cold-hardy apple trees). We're super producers of bush fruit, though (e.g. strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, haskaps...

Cool!

 

48 minutes ago, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Do you have any interests you like to talk about? 😄

:) Oh! I have several, listed in my profile, like cycling, books, LGBT+, racism, and gardening. I think it's very cool that you're interested in trees. I like growing fruit trees/bushes; it's neat to be able to watch fruit grow and then eat it, once it's ripe!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sammie M

Hey, welcome to AVEN :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
TheSmolFoxWeeb

Hi welcome to aven 🍰

 

It's TJ-  rific that you're here!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
lovelyy

I tried to make a tree cake : r/AnimalCrossing

(brown cylindrical cake with a tree made of cake and frosting on top)

I am also autistic and gay :)- welcome :D 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lichley

Welcome! Have you heard about the pine sap plastic? They’re thinking of using the sap as a biodegradable polymer :0

Apple cake pops because I don’t think trees themselves are tasty :P 

IMG_6234.JPG

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guybrush Threepwood

Hello and welcome to the forum. :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi! So, dendrology - we should talk! I have a BS in Forest Science and dendrology is one of my major special interests. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
50_Shades_of_Greysexual

Thank you for the warm welcome! And thank you for the tasty treat! 🍎🍏
 

On 6/12/2022 at 7:40 PM, Lichley said:

Have you heard about the pine sap plastic? They’re thinking of using the sap as a biodegradable polymer :0

Whoa, this is news to me! As an environmentalist, I am very excited about the prospect of using pine sap as a biodegradable polymer. Although, it makes me wonder if it would be problematic for people with allergies to conifer sap. Either way, thank you for sharing this cool info!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
50_Shades_of_Greysexual
On 6/13/2022 at 10:19 AM, alexmk said:

Hi! So, dendrology - we should talk! I have a BS in Forest Science and dendrology is one of my major special interests. 

Yes, please! Feel free to DM me anytime 🌳

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lichley
On 6/14/2022 at 9:13 PM, 50_Shades_of_Greysexual said:

Thank you for the warm welcome! And thank you for the tasty treat! 🍎🍏
 

Whoa, this is news to me! As an environmentalist, I am very excited about the prospect of using pine sap as a biodegradable polymer. Although, it makes me wonder if it would be problematic for people with allergies to conifer sap. Either way, thank you for sharing this cool info!

Ah I hadn’t thought of that. Though I suppose since you’re polymerising the sap you could also remove the abietic acid, that is the main cause of the allergic reaction, when you purify the sap by washing it with something like alcohol, after binding it to a surface, similar to the process of making coatings.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...