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questions about attraction/sex/and events


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First off, I would like to say that after reading through posts and the website, the asexual community seems to be one of the most accepting, welcoming, and educational places I have seen in a while. I thank everyone in the community for making this possible. Coming to terms/Discovering/Learning about my asexuality has been a long confusing process, but here I feel that I can finally find some answers!

First off: I am attracted to people, but not in a physical/sexual way. I do not want to have sex with them, or even kiss them..However I do feel attracted to their personality. Such as "They are funny, I'd like to hang out with them!". I'm not sure if this fits because (from my understanding) Asexuals are not attracted to people.

Secondly: Is it true that in order to be a "true" asexual you need to remove your nipples and genitalia and get a triangle tattoo on your right palm? Because if so, I don't think I can do that. I am proud of my body and would never want to drastically alter it in that way.

Third: I had a sexual partner a few months ago, but I didn't enjoy it, nor was I attracted to him, it was more of an experiment. Now, when we hang out together, he is always trying to have sex/be phyiscal with me. I am running out of excuses ("Im on my period", "I'm sick")...What is the easiest way to explain my asexuality to him (I myself had a hard time understanding at first)

Lastly: Are there any asexual pride parades/events/dates anywhere? If so I would love to be involved!

Thank you again, I hope these questions don't seem trite or uneducated, I tried to find the answers myself before asking, but I just wasn't sure and I figured what better place to bring it than here!

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Hey, the path to becoming un-uneducated starts with asking questions, and I shall do my best to answer some of yours.

1) Being attracted to people is just fine. The only thing that really falls into the asexual definition is that one isn't sexually attracted to other people. There are plenty of people around here who would like romantic partners, people who would like friends, people who're social, and so on.

2) Er, none of this is needed in any way. I guess if you're trying to remove all traces of a sex from yourself and become a eunuch, but that's about it. Actually, I'd never heard that being related to asexuality before. Where did you hear it?

3) Well, I know I'm really not the right person to explain this, given the whole I've-never-had-a-partner-nor-anyone-affected-by-my-asexuality thing. As a general idea, you could just say that you really don't want to have sex at all, I guess. Don't even have to use the a-word

4) Events? Nothing that I'm aware of, but I generally don't pay attention to big event day things like that. There's a near-constant effort to bring asexuality to the public consciousness, but that's all that I know of. Anyone else care to step in?

Hope to see you around! :cake:

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Secondly: Is it true that in order to be a "true" asexual you need to remove your nipples and genitalia and get a triangle tattoo on your right palm? Because if so, I don't think I can do that. I am proud of my body and would never want to drastically alter it in that way.

Erm... I hope this is a joke! That's one of the weirdest things about asexuality I've ever heard. If somebody told you this, they are certainly pulling your leg!

Asexuality is a general desciption. A loose label. Not a club. We don't tell you "You're in because of..." or "you're not in because...". We can just give you a general description, and you decide whether it fits.

No removal of body parts or tatoos required!

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First off: I am attracted to people, but not in a physical/sexual way. I do not want to have sex with them, or even kiss them..However I do feel attracted to their personality. Such as "They are funny, I'd like to hang out with them!". I'm not sure if this fits because (from my understanding) Asexuals are not attracted to people.

Well everyone here is different, but a lot of asexuals (myself included) are attracted to people. Like you, I'm drawn to people based on personality more than anything else, but no sexual desire comes with that.

Secondly: Is it true that in order to be a "true" asexual you need to remove your nipples and genitalia and get a triangle tattoo on your right palm? Because if so, I don't think I can do that. I am proud of my body and would never want to drastically alter it in that way.

God, I hope not. Quite a scary thought actually.

Third: I had a sexual partner a few months ago, but I didn't enjoy it, nor was I attracted to him, it was more of an experiment. Now, when we hang out together, he is always trying to have sex/be phyiscal with me. I am running out of excuses ("Im on my period", "I'm sick")...What is the easiest way to explain my asexuality to him (I myself had a hard time understanding at first)

The best thing you can really do is just be honest about it. I can imagine it would be very hard to explain in such a situation (it was awkward with my friends - I can't imagine having that chat with a partner), but you're going to have to at some point. Ideally they will be understanding about it all, but if not, they probably aren't the kind of person worth hanging out with.

Lastly: Are there any asexual pride parades/events/dates anywhere? If so I would love to be involved!

God, I hope not.

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Secondly: Is it true that in order to be a "true" asexual you need to remove your nipples and genitalia and get a triangle tattoo on your right palm? Because if so, I don't think I can do that. I am proud of my body and would never want to drastically alter it in that way.

God, I hope not. Quite a scary thought actually.

ditto o.o

Third: I had a sexual partner a few months ago, but I didn't enjoy it, nor was I attracted to him, it was more of an experiment. Now, when we hang out together, he is always trying to have sex/be phyiscal with me. I am running out of excuses ("Im on my period", "I'm sick")...What is the easiest way to explain my asexuality to him (I myself had a hard time understanding at first)

The best thing you can really do is just be honest about it. I can imagine it would be very hard to explain in such a situation (it was awkward with my friends - I can't imagine having that chat with a partner), but you're going to have to at some point. Ideally they will be understanding about it all, but if not, they probably aren't the kind of person worth hanging out

with.

i again agree. i can't even remember when i first said that... but i do remember that he thought it was a phase and that i'd 'get over it'

:roll:

but after saying it a few times you can start to gain confidence in it. I mean, maybe it isn't permanent, but people (friends for sure) need to respect you -now-. tell them if it changes you'll let them know.

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