Bi Male: I find vaginas kinda gross, but am aroused by other things about women, and am somewhat aroused by penises. Am I asexual/graysexual?

[Jbird115]

So, I identify as bisexual. I have attraction to both sexes (and all genders), but I find women more attractive. However, I find vaginas kinda gross, and I don't really get aroused by the thought of sticking my penis in one. However, other things about women do arouse me quite a lot, I have kinks/fetishes, and am attracted to the legs, butt, boobs, etc, and I masturbate over these things. When it comes to Men, I am more attracted to women than Men, however, when it comes to vagina vs penis, I am actually attracted to penises while I find vaginas kinda gross. I don't know if I would enjoy vaginal sex, cuse I'm a virgin (I've never even been in a relationship), but I do know that the thought of vaginas doesn't really turn me on. I've never thought about the possibility of being on the ace spectrum cuse like I said, I am attracted to pretty much every other part of women, am attracted to penises, and have kinks/fetishes, it's just the vagina, but just in case, I thought I'd ask the fine folks on here cuse it's been bothering me a little. Does not being attracted to vaginas mean I'm asexual or perhaps graysexual, despite being attracted to that other stuff.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @Jbird115

 

Everyone can be different. Liking certain parts over others doesn't really change sexual orientation. But you are uniquely you and like what you like in any case 🌈.

I think it would be more about whether or not you're drawn to do sexual things with people you're attracted to (or like intimately).

 

I hope you can find whatever your groove is

[Blue eyes white dragon]

It sounds more like preference rather than lack of desire and attraction. Being sexual doesn't mean you have to be attracted to the parts someone has but rather that you want to get sexually connected with someone. Parts might influence that but that comes down to what you prefer

[alto]

I once knew a guy just like you (well, almost just like you).  You aren't alone.

[Janus the Fox]

Moved to The Grey Area, Sex and Related Discussions

 

Janus the Fox

Cover Asexual Relationships, Gender Discussions, Tea & Sympathy, Current Questions about Asexuality, Romantic and Aromantic Orientations and Site Comments Moderator

[bare_trees]

15 hours ago, Jbird115 said:

Does not being attracted to vaginas mean I'm asexual or perhaps graysexual, despite being attracted to that other stuff.

Definitely doesn't make you asexual or graysexual.  That doesn't mean you aren't--I'm just saying that lots of people who are sexually attracted to folks with vaginas don't really find vaginas themselves attractive.  But they are still sexually attracted to the person, still desire sexual activities with the person.  And some people desire sexual activities but not PiV (penis in vagina) type of intercourse.  So, basically what @Blue eyes white dragonsaid.

[Ceebs]

I'm a bisexual woman who doesn't get turned on looking at male or female genitals, and I also don't experience much interest in any other body parts either. I'm just not very visually driven when it comes to my sexual desire. Seeing a partner naked, someone with whom I have a real connection, can trigger desire mentally, though I'm still not likely to become physically aroused unless something more happens (e.g., masturbation, explicit conversation, actual sex). I'm not greysexual, demisexual, asexual, anything like that. I have a moderate-high level of interest in sex I think, and it's very important to me in a romantic relationship. My sexuality just isn't too connected to visual cues.

 

My point being, I'm a pretty sexual person, yet I'm significantly less turned on by any body parts at all than you seem to be. I'm sexual because I want to have sex with other people. If you think you want to have sex with other people, then you're sexual too. Your visual turn-ons, or lack thereof, don't define whether you're sexual or asexual.

[Demitone]

Hello! Bi demi female here.

 

I have the opposite thing. Vaginas I'm comfortable with and intrigued by (though the word attracted would definitely be too strong), while penises honestly gross me out. I hate looking at them or even looking at realistic dildos (apologies to all people with penises).

 

I am both on the ace spectrum and bi and I don't know how the genital thing interplays with my identity. I'd say for me I'm much more attracted to people than their parts, and even though penises gross me out the idea of sex with penises doesn't if the penis belongs to the specific person I am attracted to.

But everyone's sexuality is different so I can't tell you what that means for you. I can tell you that one thing comforting about the ace community that is harder to find in other communities is that attraction is complicated and there are many different kinds/facets to it. I would say if it matters to you keep exploring words and identities. 

 

Also remember your attraction or not to someone's genitals does not invalidate your attraction to that gender!