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Writing androgynous/genderqueer character


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Hi, I am trying to write a character who is androgynous in physical features, possibly also genderqueer or genderfluid (meaning this person does not mind to be both, other, or none genders). He is biologically male but he also doesn't mind others or himself calling him as female.

 

Because I'm cis, I don't want to sound offensive or harmful to other readers who might identify as such. So, do you have any tips? How should I describe the character properly without sounding inappropriate? How should I use the pronouns? What should I watch out for any mistakes?

 

Suggestions are welcome! Thanks in advance :)

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Sarah-Sylvia

I think there's a few things to keep in mind for pronouns. As the narrator, probably best to use 'they/them' (or by name), unless you find reasons to use others, like say maybe as part of before realizing gender identity, 'him/he' could make sense in that case if the readers don't know yet either. When it's in the story itself, it entirely depends on the characters, and what would make sense for what they know about your character, how much they know about pronouns and being respectful, etc.

There's places or people that still say 'biologically male', but typically in the trans community we prefer AGAB (Assigned gender at birth), which is  AMAB in this case (assigned male at birth). This is because we look for more distance with people focusing on 'sex', but also sex is more complex than most people know and the brain is biological too., and can be different (not just psychologically). Besides operations that change sex traits.

There might be 'other' ways to try to talk on it that's not direct as well. (like mentioning parts without saying something bigger)

That said if your character doesn't mind any pronouns, then within the story itself they might not correct others if they use him/he ? It really depends how your character feels about their pronouns.

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verily-forsooth-egads

Quick note on the above comment: 

Spoiler

"Biologically male" is still a thing, it's just offensive to act like it's the same as AMAB, or to say one when you mean the other. You can't change your AGAB, but you can change your sex by medically transitioning, and it's offensive to invalidate people who have done so by reducing them to their AGAB in cases where anatomy matters more.

 

Personally, I would love it if you just used the character's pronouns, and had other characters use them, without bringing it up or addressing how they "know" at all. Let some other book handle the question of how to ask someone's pronouns—what both cis readers and trans readers need more of is the opportunity to see trans people just living their lives without it being a big deal.

 

That means you as the narrator get to decide what pronouns they're using and when. Maybe he/him in one chapter, maybe she/they in another. If you don't trust readers to figure it out for themselves, I don't see a problem with "his pronouns were he/she/they" or "they were feeling androgynous today", although it kind of defeats the aim of not bringing attention to it.

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Honestly just having a character who is androgynous and doesn't care what people call them is awesome. Per my bio I consider myself a bigender FTX androgyne (also genderqueer per my username lol) and since starting testosterone I love dressing both as a man and a woman and am not really bothered by being referred to as either (although I would prefer cis people who know my ASAB not to view me as the same as a cis woman). I honestly think letting that character just kind of exist and not over-sensationalizing the idea of being trans/GNC is the best way to approach it. Just keep talking to us and you'll find we're very diverse in opinions and the terminology we use and that's fine! 😝

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Sarah-Sylvia
7 hours ago, verily-forsooth-egads said:

Quick note on the above comment: 

  Hide contents

"Biologically male" is still a thing, it's just offensive to act like it's the same as AMAB, or to say one when you mean the other. You can't change your AGAB, but you can change your sex by medically transitioning, and it's offensive to invalidate people who have done so by reducing them to their AGAB in cases where anatomy matters more.

 

Personally, I would love it if you just used the character's pronouns, and had other characters use them, without bringing it up or addressing how they "know" at all. Let some other book handle the question of how to ask someone's pronouns—what both cis readers and trans readers need more of is the opportunity to see trans people just living their lives without it being a big deal.

 

That means you as the narrator get to decide what pronouns they're using and when. Maybe he/him in one chapter, maybe she/they in another. If you don't trust readers to figure it out for themselves, I don't see a problem with "his pronouns were he/she/they" or "they were feeling androgynous today", although it kind of defeats the aim of not bringing attention to it.

I think it sounds fine in a lighter story or part, depending on how much the character features. I guess it just depends how much backstory or realistic she wants to make it, and especially when it comes to other characters, they wouldn't know what pronouns to use if there is fluidity, unless the character tells them different ones :P, which then I guess would be caring quite a bit about how they refer, and also rare someone does that, though I'm sure some might try. It also depends on the story for in example if they're meeting a new person, then that person wouldn't know. Things like that.

 

In other words it also depends on the story elements coming together.

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