People phobic issues

[Reindeer]

Is anyone phobic of people in thier house and how do you deal with it? 

[Anomaly Q3Xr]

4 minutes ago, Reindeer said:

Is anyone phobic of people in thier house and how do you deal with it? 

I don't like men in my home, unless it's someone I know well, as men intimidate me and my home is my safe place. I don't like anyone in my bedroom though, regardless of who it is. The reason I got a one bedroom place rather than a studio flat is so I have an extra room for people to visit (not that anyone really does, but on rare occasions).

[Calliers]

I don't mind people visiting me.... usually it just means we'll have fun playing a bunch of games and all.

 

I think you could set ground rules for the people that visit you, for example tell them to please not touch anything and take their shoes off at the door, that will show them that you don't appreciate any nonsense going on during the visit and they should mind themselves as well.

[Gloomy]

Yes, I don’t like anyone in my apartment unless absolutely necessary. If someone absolutely has to come over I hide the stuff I don’t want them to see lol.

[daveb]

I very rarely have visitors, and am very selective about who enters my house.

 

What I really don't like is having to have plumbers, furnace people, etc., come into my house, but that can't be avoided. I do try to control things as much as I can, and put stuff away, etc.

[ThatBadCat]

I have social anxiety which includes anxiety over having people in my house. Basically I only invite over very close friends who I trust completely and who know I struggle with anxiety. On the rare occasions I have to have trades people over I set up my cat cam in whatever room they'll be working in to keep an eye on them and then hide in my home office.

[J. van Deijck]

1 hour ago, daveb said:

and am very selective about who enters my house.

Same. It's actually typical for my country, here people are friendly, but distant, and even a friend has to announce themselves and wait for an invitation you don't just stop by.

So, living in the country where I live, I can feel safe on that matter. I decide who visits and who doesn't visit. Sure there are some foreigners out there who think they can come to your house and feel welcome (happened to me a few times), but in general, there's no such thing here and I'm very happy for that.

 

Previously I was able to do some repairs in the house myself, so that allowed us to avoid visits of other people there, but now I can't due to my disability, so it can't be avoided.

[Calliers]

5 hours ago, alsjeblieft said:

Same. It's actually typical for my country, here people are friendly, but distant, and even a friend has to announce themselves and wait for an invitation you don't just stop by.

So, living in the country where I live, I can feel safe on that matter. I decide who visits and who doesn't visit. Sure there are some foreigners out there who think they can come to your house and feel welcome (happened to me a few times), but in general, there's no such thing here and I'm very happy for that.

 

Previously I was able to do some repairs in the house myself, so that allowed us to avoid visits of other people there, but now I can't due to my disability, so it can't be avoided.

I've said this somewhere else on the forums but in Africa you just drop by - anytime is tea time over there!

[J. van Deijck]

1 hour ago, Calliers said:

I've said this somewhere else on the forums but in Africa you just drop - anytime is tea time over there!

That's not the case here in my country, it's even considered impolite

[Lilibulero]

4 hours ago, alsjeblieft said:

Same. It's actually typical for my country, here people are friendly, but distant, and even a friend has to announce themselves and wait for an invitation you don't just stop by.

Yes, same here. I've a lovely neighbour, but she insists on just dropping by, knocking on my window, of all things, so I have to take a deep breath every time. 

I'm definitely someone you have to make appointments with.

[Calliers]

Actually here in Canada most people I know, myself included, prefer that if you want to come over, you have to check prior preferably a few days before to see if you can be hosted.

[J. van Deijck]

1 hour ago, Lilibulero said:

Yes, same here. I've a lovely neighbour, but she insists on just dropping by, knocking on my window, of all things, so I have to take a deep breath every time. 

I'm definitely someone you have to make appointments with.

That's it.

One of our neighbours comes from the Netherlands and although he's not the best example for the whole nation (I'm friends with some Dutch people and I know they're different), I can tell the Dutch are somewhat different than the Belgians. He likes to show up unannounced every time he needs something, he's loud and noisy, and doesn't see any problem with just dropping by and he's noisy in a similar way until we let him in. With him, it's like a Dutch person who is exaggerated to every possible level, almost like a parody. Once my spouse got so angry he opened the door, said "Kiss my ass please" and slammed the door in front of his face. Not a very Belgian thing to do, but this is when you don't respect the unwritten rules of a country you come to live in. We're more polite usually, but that's when you give respect, then you receive respect.

[uniQChick]

5 hours ago, Calliers said:

I've said this somewhere else on the forums but in Africa you just drop by - anytime is tea time over there!

Same in Russia (or other republics of former USSR), friends can come at any time and be welcomed.

[Calliers]

2 minutes ago, uniQChick said:

Same in Russia (or other former republics of USSR), friends can come at any time and be welcomed.

I thought @alsjeblieftsaid it is like that in Poland too, am I right?

[J. van Deijck]

2 minutes ago, Calliers said:

I thought @alsjeblieftsaid it is like that in Poland too, am I right?

Indeed, but it's not about 100% of the nation, like everywhere else