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What does romantic attraction feel like?


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For the alloromantics out there: When you are romantically attracted to someone, what do you feel? What kinds of things do you want to do with the person?

I am curious and questioning.

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Sarah-Sylvia

Feels like rainbows. Makes me want to cuddle. 🌈

Also feels good inside, a little soft.

 

I'll just link to this post since I feel I wrote out pretty well here just recently:

 

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StarryNightAllAlone

I can only speak from my own limited experiences. Whenever I get a crush, I start fantasizing about that person. I imagine just being around them and doing romantic things with them.  I imagine what a future might look like with that person. When I see them, my heart races. I want to know them intimately, although this applies to my friendships as well. I've only had a few crushes on people I didn't know very well, so they were superficial.

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1 hour ago, AceKanojo said:

For the alloromantics out there: When you are romantically attracted to someone, what do you feel? What kinds of things do you want to do with the person?

I am curious and questioning.

I love this question! I feel as though I have been seriously romantically attracted three times in my life. Each time, I want the connection to be mutual. I want the relationship to be something unique to only the two of us. I feel a deep concern for their happiness. I get extremely creative in how I can express my feelings to them. My mind generates words to express my feelings in a way that is different from any other relationship in my life. Being a romantic, I do enjoy cuddling and if I am romantically attracted to someone, I will want to be close to them physically and for me, that includes kissing. But of course, I really don't need anything beyond that in the physical attraction realm. 

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25 minutes ago, daylily said:

I want the connection to be mutual. I want the relationship to be something unique to only the two of us. I feel a deep concern for their happiness. I get extremely creative in how I can express my feelings to them. My mind generates words to express my feelings in a way that is different from any other relationship in my life. Being a romantic, I do enjoy cuddling and if I am romantically attracted to someone, I will want to be close to them physically and for me, that includes kissing. But of course, I really don't need anything beyond that in the physical attraction realm.

Interesting. With my squish, I do kind of want a “mutual connection” of sorts. Most of this applies to what I want with them, except for kissing. They give absolutely amazing hugs and we’ve kind of cuddled, which I enjoyed. Kissing just seems too weird, even with someone I know well. 

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I was romantically attracted to a woman a few months ago, and I wanted to kiss her, touch her thigh, I wanted to be important to her, it felt like I needed her in my life, I cared a lot more about her than I care about others.I felt really strong attraction to her. There were things that should be dealbreakers for me, but my attraction just made me feel like I didn't care about those details, I needed her in my life. 

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It's a warm feeling in the chest, a desire to cuddle and kiss that person, to be in a relationship with them, to laugh with them, get close to them. Fall in love with them. 

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WhiteCatandcherries

I am happy to see them and a bit nervous also. I focus on them in a way I wouldn't do with a friend, how their hair falls around their face, what their different kind of smiles looks like (i am especially like "proud" and happy when I make them smile - with a friend I would be happy I make them enjoy themselves, with a crush I am happy they are smiling because of me), how they like to sit and move. And also a very clear sign is the desire - I want to be a special person to them in a way no one else is, I want to go on dates with them and cuddle - like I want to be their girlfriend, and do all the romantic stuff. I get what the world says about romance in a way I don't get what it says about sex. I want all those romantic things and when I am romantically attracted to someone I want them with them.   

 

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MinnieMouse
On 5/20/2022 at 12:58 AM, StarryNightAllAlone said:

I can only speak from my own limited experiences. Whenever I get a crush, I start fantasizing about that person. I imagine just being around them and doing romantic things with them.  I imagine what a future might look like with that person. When I see them, my heart races. I want to know them intimately, although this applies to my friendships as well. I've only had a few crushes on people I didn't know very well, so they were superficial.

This 👆 is how it works for me too. I want to do romantic things like cuddling, sleeping in their arms, holding hands et c. But NO intercourse or kissing! Not att all. 

 

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I want to show them neat places in my neighborhood! Sit together and watch the sunset! Shop for groceries together! Go hiking! Play a game together! Have long deep conversations! Be supportive of them! Try new things together!

 

I get really excited about even mundane activities, because I'd be able to do them with the object of my romantic attractions. So I guess ultimately, spending time and being around them. And I'd also want to do things I'm not interested in doing with friends, like cuddling, sharing a bed (non-sexually), etc.

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ExquisiteMystery
On 5/22/2022 at 5:11 AM, Lilika said:

I want to show them neat places in my neighborhood! Sit together and watch the sunset! Shop for groceries together! Go hiking! Play a game together! Have long deep conversations! Be supportive of them! Try new things together!

 

I get really excited about even mundane activities, because I'd be able to do them with the object of my romantic attractions. So I guess ultimately, spending time and being around them. And I'd also want to do things I'm not interested in doing with friends, like cuddling, sharing a bed (non-sexually), etc.

This actually didn't help me at all. I would enJoy these things with a good friend, and not consider them romantic.

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14 hours ago, ExquisiteMystery said:

This actually didn't help me at all. I would enJoy these things with a good friend, and not consider them romantic.

What one person considers romantic isn't necessarily going to be the same as what another consider romantic. It's a tricky construct in that sense.

 

I can't really offer much beyond my own experience. If you do have any concrete questions feel free to ask and I'll answer to the best of my ability though!

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ExquisiteMystery

Hmm. So say you are friends with someone, well enough to leave important items with them while you use a public restroom. You are happy to see them,etc. You hear they are finally marrying their wife, and are happy enough to hug them, give a big smile, and congratulate them.

If you were romantic with someone, and they just found out they would (graduate, get promoted, or something). You are very happy for them, congratulate them, smile, and give them a hug.

How would it feel different?

Not to put you on the spot. For anyone if they can explain.

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