Am I asexual

[Flowerchild11]

When I first became sexually active, I was very active and had a desire for intercourse. I also thought I was straight. As time went on, I am now in a long term relationship with a man I love, I lost desire for sex, realized I liked men and women and everything in-between. I also started new medications that had the side affect of low libido. Now i don't know if I'm asexual, a lesbian, or if i just have low libido because of the meds.

[alto]

What can I say?  Sexuality can be fluid.

[steel_quill]

Hi, @Flowerchild11, welcome.

 

Sexuality has to do with whether/toward whom you experience sexual attraction/desire -- not as much libido. Some asexuals have a libido. Others don't. Asexuals generally experience little/no sexual attraction/desire -- as in, even if all the conditions were right (relationship-wise, person-wise, etc.) they still wouldn't feel a pull to have sex with that person; some wouldn't mind it if it makes their partner happy; others feel actively repulsed. 

[LİLYAA]

28 dakika önce steel_quill dedi ki:

merhaba,@Flowerchild11, Hoşgeldiniz.

 

cinsellik, cinsellikle/arzu deneyimlediğiniz/kime karşınızdakiyle ilgili değil - libido kadar. Bazı alerin libidoları vardır. Diğerleri. Gerçekte  , aynı şekilde, yine de o kişiyle  seks yapmak için bir hissetmezler; kimisi partnerini mutlu ediyorsa buna aldırmaz; aktif olarak iyileşmişler. 

How well you explained the situation As a person who can't figure out what I am myself, I wonder, is not being able to flirt with anyone, not having feelings called desire, is it a sign of asexuality?
I wonder what it's like to feel attracted to someone

[steel_quill]

@LİLYAA , hi and welcome to AVEN! 🍰

 

So there are different kinds of attraction:

• Sexual
• Romantic
• Alterous
• Platonic
• Emotional
• Intellectual
• Aesthetic (i.e., physical looks)
• etc.....

This sticky might be helpful:

 

In terms of desire, one of the definitions of asexuality looks at whether you experience little/no desire for partnered sex.

 

In terms of attraction, another definition looks at whether you experience little/no sexual attraction. I think this concept is something like "if all the conditions were right (relationship-wise, person-wise, external factors-wise, etc.), would you want to have sex with that person?" 

[LİLYAA]

3 dakika önce steel_quill dedi ki:

@LİLYAA , merhaba ve AVEN'e hoş geldiniz!🍰

 

Yani farklı tarzlar vardır:

• cinsel
• romantik
• alternatif
• platonik
• duyulanlar
• izleniyor
• Estetik (yani görünüşte)
• vb.....

Bu da olabilir:

 

Arzu için , bir cinsellik tanımlamalarından biri, partner seks için çok az arzu duymadığınıza.

 

Çekicilik bakar , başka bir çekiciliğin az olup olmayı/hiç yaşamamış olmanıza bağlıdır. Bence bu kavram "her durum için gerekli olan şeydir. gibi bir şey. 

Thank you so much for trying to help
Hope it will help me figure it out myself

[Flowerchild11]

 @steel_quilll I don't have a desire for sex. It grosses me out and the thought of it makes me anxious. Watching porn makes me uncomfortable. I masturbate but don't think of anything. Its more of a massage and isn't sexual for me. I think people are hot but don't really desire sex from anyone. It is very rare that I have sex with my bf and is only when I'm drunk, high, or depressed. And I don't feel an emotional connection when we do like he says he does; again its like a massage. I just feels nice. 

[steel_quill]

On 5/19/2022 at 6:18 PM, Flowerchild11 said:

I don't have a desire for sex. It grosses me out [...] And I don't feel an emotional connection when we do like he says he does

Could be sex-repulsed asexual? Many aces report a mental or emotional disconnect about sex.

 

On 5/19/2022 at 6:18 PM, Flowerchild11 said:

only when I'm drunk, high, or depressed

Be careful that you're not being chemically (drunk/high) or emotionally (depressed) manipulated into doing things that you're not comfortable with, since you said that sex grosses you out.